arim17 Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 My boyfriend of two years broke up with me two days ago, and he was always the type of guy who cared a lot about me and our relationship, the beginning was amazing we loved each others company and always wanted to be together he's 15 and im 17 and we just really clicked. I used to think he was perfect, he was caring, smart, sweet, and very good looking, well recently we've been fighting a lot about stupid stuff and i would get really mad and say horrible things, like "i hate you" and hang up on him and have him call me back like twice and then answer, and i know i took advantage of him and it was wrong but when we were happy i was a really great girlfriend i would draw him little notes and stuff everyday to make him laugh, and i always worried about him like when it stormed, and for the most part we were happy, but about 3 weeks ago we had a fight and he acted completely different and he would not call back when i hung up and he still cared but it was different and he was changing, and then two days ago we fought and he was like "i just don't think were going to work forever" and i would start crying and he would hold me and tell me it was ok and not cry and he loved me then later that night i told him i just want him to try harder, and after that i was onn Facebook and he was flirting with some girl it really was innocent, and then he was like "i was going to try tomorrow i was going to make this work but then we started to fight about something new and it just hit me i don't want to be together anymore" and i was screaming crying. that night when i called again he said "ok lets make a deal lets be friends for a week and then date the next week and well see if i love you again like i did" i said ok but i knew it wasn't the same, the next day i was crying at school and he said hell try again to make me happy, but i could tell he wasn't happy and we went to a park and just held each other and cried and i finally realized if i love him i have to let him go and he started crying and said he loved me still he just wanted to be alone he dosnt want to date anyone, so i basically broke him, i ruined the perfect boy that i loved i gave him my virginity and im very upset. he says that when he's done being alone hell date me and give me a chance before he dates anyone else. i keeping calling him and he talks to me and i can tell he cares he says he misses me but he's not the same boy. im so scared and alone please any advice? what do i do?
sedgwick Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 There is a HUGE difference in emotional maturity between a 17-year-old girl and a 15-year-old boy. You must remember that at that age, his brain is still developing, and he's struggling to deal with all the new hormones coursing through his body. Of course that's going to make him moody and confused, and isn't moodiness and confusion pretty much universal to teenagers? Any chance of finding a guy your own age or maybe a year or two older? I think you'll find there's a tremendous difference.
sedgwick Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 (edited) Also, I just wanted to add: I'm 39 and don't know a single person who's with the same person they loved at age 15. I know a couple who got together at 18 or 19, when they were in college, but that's it. You're SUPPOSED to grow and mature in those years! You simply cannot know at the very beginning of your dating life, at a time when your brains and bodies have not yet matured, who you're going to be with forever, and to expect this boy just out of junior high to choose his life partner is, unfortunately, completely unrealistic.. You're both going to change SO much in the next few years, and that's as it should be. When I was 17, a very wise adult said to me, "Your job right now is to try and fail, try and fail, and learn who you are. The trying is more important than the failing." I think that may have been the best advice I ever got -- it's 22 years later, and I still think it's one of the truest things anyone ever said. It's the only way to get to know yourself and to discover what will make your life worth living. PS: I am happy to continue to discuss this with you, but would you mind ending a sentence with a period occasionally? The fact that that whole block of text is one sentence makes it tough to read. Edited May 30, 2010 by sedgwick
Author arim17 Posted June 1, 2010 Author Posted June 1, 2010 Thanks, and i know that we would not end up together. For me its just the heartbreak that is hurting the worst. I understand the age difference completely and I agree. Its just a very hard thing for me to deal with right now.
Recommended Posts