kdark Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 So I just ended my friends with benefits relationship after I realized that she was growing to have feelings for me in a romantic way. Even though I told her from the start that I didn't want anything to develop to that level. But she still tried to change how I felt about her, and kept testing me to see how much bull I would put up with. So I left. I know she can't change how she felt, and I'm not mad at her, but after dealing with that it kinda turned me off to women in general, and it makes me feel like they just aren't worth the hassle. I don't want a relationship, I don't want to date, and I didn't even enjoy no strings attached sex. Am I just having a string of bad luck for three years? Am I not looking for the right kind of girls? I tried looking at my actions since I am the one common denominator, and I always end up getting bored after a few months of hanging out with the same girl. With this last girl I was seeing it took less than a week to get bored with her. I want to ask what I need to do to get over this aversion to all things that have to do with dating, but I honestly feel happier not dealing with women and everything else that goes along with them.
Author kdark Posted May 30, 2010 Author Posted May 30, 2010 I hear a computer calling your name. Meh. I'm even getting sick of doing that.
IronMaiden Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 temporary vow of celebacy..? You might get a lot of stuff done!
Jersey Shortie Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 This sounds more like an internal issue with yourself then an issue with women.
Woggle Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Just buy some Playboys and please yourself until you meet the right one. You will be much happier.
Engadget Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I pick the wrong women too. Either they want just sex, or they're a bit crazy.
brainygirl Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I feel the same way, except about men. They mis-advertise what they want and end up wanting a FWB situation, only they want it on their time and schedule, or they tell me they don't want to be exclusive and get jealous when I see other people. Crazy, unemployed, and formerly addicted seems to be the only types I can attract.
C-i-C-u Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 most women are boring if you want entertainment get a hobby.
You'reasian Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 most women are boring if you want entertainment get a hobby. and if you want a friend, get a dog. FWB with your lady friends can be a good thing. Many women prefer that.
stepka Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I want to ask what I need to do to get over this aversion to all things that have to do with dating, but I honestly feel happier not dealing with women and everything else that goes along with them. Why don't you do us women a favor and not date.
You'reasian Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 women just want hot in the usa usa sucks ...marufff?
You'reasian Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 women just want hot in the usa usa sucks I speak English, but not as good as you, my friend.
You'reasian Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 hey stupid marufff is not a word Hey Shrek, I'm messing with you.
DollWelch Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 That's rare, Kdark. Usually women are the ones that easily get bored with men. I am guilty of this myself. But rarely are men. Clearly, you're not in the right mindset -or rather, you've set yourself up for disappointment. Your ex-FWB is only natural for her to develop feelings. She is human afterall. The issue here is with you! You're going about love backwards. You don't enjoy FWB, no strings attached, dating, single-life, relationships. Then what do YOU WANT/ENJOY? You're lost, aren't you. Take a break from women, do something crazy, then come back.
Brady_to_Moss Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 I am 21 and have been on a break for 4 years and i do not ever see this break ending..love having nothing to do with women...no offense ladies!
Lovelybird Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 In your mind, probably all women are like the woman you know in your life. But it doesn't. Every woman is different. Although they all could be bad in some ways, so are men. IMO you fear to deal with realities of other human and yours because you are not sure if you are strong enough to stand up for yourself and have proper boundaries. Being able to be intimate and vulnerable with a person and same time being able to say no to this person, is an art, a mature strong person can master it.
bac Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 So I just ended my friends with benefits relationship after I realized that she was growing to have feelings for me in a romantic way. I don't want to date, and I didn't even enjoy no strings attached sex. With this last girl I was seeing it took less than a week to get bored with her. I want to ask what I need to do to get over this aversion to all things that have to do with dating, but I honestly feel happier not dealing with women and everything else that goes along with them. Sorry to hear that. Do you mean that the last girl has developed feelings for you in 1 wk? Do you mean that you get tired of sex with her in 1 wk? It is unusually fast unless you had daily dates with her. How do you know that she was growing to have feelings for you? Did she tell you that she was in love with you? Sorry to hear that you did not enjoy NSA. As for how to get over the aversion, my advice is to find a very hot, kinky and creative girl who would totally worship your d...ck. Follow her lead a little bit and let her introduce you to her sexual fantasies. Do with her every date a new sexual fantasy. For example, the first day, let her dance for you while she would slowly take her sexy lingerie off, the next day, let her do the next fantasy. Let her tell you that you are amazing at sex, handsome, you have the best d...k ever and other pleasant things. Relax, let go of all your limitations and do whatever you want.
SarahRose Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Sorry to hear that. Do you mean that the last girl has developed feelings for you in 1 wk? Do you mean that you get tired of sex with her in 1 wk? It is unusually fast unless you had daily dates with her. How do you know that she was growing to have feelings for you? Did she tell you that she was in love with you? Sorry to hear that you did not enjoy NSA. As for how to get over the aversion, my advice is to find a very hot, kinky and creative girl who would totally worship your d...ck. Follow her lead a little bit and let her introduce you to her sexual fantasies. Do with her every date a new sexual fantasy. For example, the first day, let her dance for you while she would slowly take her sexy lingerie off, the next day, let her do the next fantasy. Let her tell you that you are amazing at sex, handsome, you have the best d...k ever and other pleasant things. Relax, let go of all your limitations and do whatever you want. Isn't that called wanking to porn
bac Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Isn't that called wanking to porn What do you mean? I mean a real life girl.
Author kdark Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 In your mind, probably all women are like the woman you know in your life. But it doesn't. Every woman is different. Although they all could be bad in some ways, so are men. IMO you fear to deal with realities of other human and yours because you are not sure if you are strong enough to stand up for yourself and have proper boundaries. Being able to be intimate and vulnerable with a person and same time being able to say no to this person, is an art, a mature strong person can master it. The whole reason I got into the FWB thing was so that I could just have fun without getting attached. And The reason I ended things was because she stepping over my boundaries. One minute we would be having great sex, then she would get up to go to the bathroom, and then tell me that I needed to leave as soon as she got back. And when I actually did try to leave, it blew up into an hour long argument that ended with me telling her to get away from my car before I call the cops. I barely know this girl, and she's acting like a psycho ex. I'm just going to stay away from girls for a while. I'll just friend zone them all; give 'em a taste of their own medicine...
Author kdark Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 That's rare, Kdark. Usually women are the ones that easily get bored with men. I am guilty of this myself. But rarely are men. Clearly, you're not in the right mindset -or rather, you've set yourself up for disappointment. Your ex-FWB is only natural for her to develop feelings. She is human afterall. The issue here is with you! You're going about love backwards. You don't enjoy FWB, no strings attached, dating, single-life, relationships. Then what do YOU WANT/ENJOY? You're lost, aren't you. Take a break from women, do something crazy, then come back. I wasn't lost until things went to hell with this girl. And what do you mean"going about love backwards"? Love is not my intention at all, and I made that clear from the get-go with this girl. But those darn feelings just keep getting in the way...
Author kdark Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 Sorry to hear that. Do you mean that the last girl has developed feelings for you in 1 wk? Do you mean that you get tired of sex with her in 1 wk? It is unusually fast unless you had daily dates with her. How do you know that she was growing to have feelings for you? Did she tell you that she was in love with you? Sorry to hear that you did not enjoy NSA. As for how to get over the aversion... When I say I got bored with her, I just mean that hanging out with her became more of a drag than fun. I'd start thinking of other things I could be doing. And this happened on our second date, about a week and a half into things. And I knew she was starting to have feelings for me because she got drunk and told me. She said I'm not supposed to be as nice to her as I am to her because we aren't dating. Asked me to treat her like an ******* would, told me not to look her in the eyes when we have sex, and that inviting her over to my house once was a BIG no-no, and that it was my fault she started to like me. I sure do pick winners...
bac Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 When I say I got bored with her, I just mean that hanging out with her became more of a drag than fun. I'd start thinking of other things I could be doing. And this happened on our second date, about a week and a half into things. And I knew she was starting to have feelings for me because she got drunk and told me. She said I'm not supposed to be as nice to her as I am to her because we aren't dating. Asked me to treat her like an ******* would, told me not to look her in the eyes when we have sex, and that inviting her over to my house once was a BIG no-no, and that it was my fault she started to like me. I sure do pick winners... What do you mean under 'hanging out' with FWBs? IMO you just have sex with your FWBs. At least I do it that way. I meet them at my/their place and we get into hot action. When the hot action is done, I/they leave very soon. Then, if you are in a new FWBs relationship, a guy emails a short thank you note. If you are in a long-term FWBs, you do not write anything. Then, when a guy is horny again in wks or months, he contacts the girl letting her know when he wants to come for sex. There is not so much time to get bored in a FWBs relationship because you are just having sex most of the time. Perhaps your girl was not FWBs material. She did not know what she wanted. She has just tried to be a FWBs, but she was not capable of doing that. As for looking into eyes during sex, it has nothing to do with feelings. Looking into eyes during sex is only about sexual connection, and high sex drive. Girls who feel nothing during sex can not look into eyes because they feel very uncomfortable. If she asked you to leave after 'great sex' as soon as possible, she might not feel the same way about the great sex as you felt about it. If sex is great, a girl should be happy, relaxed and satisfied.
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