Serenitynow Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I am on a dating site. For a few months I had my profile just like most guys, positive, upbeat, caring etc. I got almost no traffic or responses to the emails I sent out. Then I changed my profile, to a negative style, that complained about the dating experiences with women, and how women can be manipulative, inconsiderate, immature, etc. All of a sudden I start getting all kinds of emails, and way more views from women. The number one thing women ask for on most dating profiles is a nice guy. So with this in mind, WHY WHY WHY do they ignore me when I'm nice but flock to me when I berate them ? I seriously want females to answer this. Dont attack my post, dont tell me how "you arent like that " , I want a straight forward answer. Pretend you dont have to choose sides male vs female for 5 mins and just give me an unbiased answer.
MyNameIsJane Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I personally believe it is because women like to prove guys wrong. Just like I had to click on your post just based on your title - because YOURE WRONG and I want to tell you why... lol. It's like when women still try getting in a relationship with a guy even after he says he isn't looking for it. It sounds like you're profile challenged women - and they want to prove that all women aren't that way... I guess.
singlelife Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 Chick is right. I talk crazy to girls all the time and they still keep coming. They know I don't want a women so they screw my brains out trying to lock it up. If you don't stress chicks out with all this love stuff they will like you more.
Engadget Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 They do, I remember that Mystery douche explaining how to use backhanded compliments to draw women in, and it does work.
FitChick Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 A whining profile just screams "baggage" to me. I prefer positive, upbeat people. Perhaps you also changed to better photos at the same time?
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 A lot of women want to be the "one" who helps change you to a "better you", in order to prove to themselves that they are accomplished enough to do so. It is an ego boost to know that you have the power to change someone from bitter/angry/unemotional to warm/giving/emotional. A challenge, if you will - to know that you are better than any other girl you have dated and who have failed to "change" you. It is that whole "kiss the frog and make him into a prince" thing. Some women like to know that they have that transformative 'magic' and like to be able to use it in a competitive way against other women. If the guy is already a prince, already warm/kind/giving - where is the challenge? I see the same sort of thing when it comes to women who give up sex too easily. Where is the chase? How do you know you are different than any other person who came before you? It is that drive to be "different", to accomplish what others haven't that defines some people. They do want the 'nice' guy. They just want to be the one responsible for making you that way. Not all women are like this, thankfully.
Kamille Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Could it just be that it made your profile stand out and seem more honest than the lame-o positive upbeat ones?
somedude81 Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I am on a dating site. For a few months I had my profile just like most guys, positive, upbeat, caring etc. I got almost no traffic or responses to the emails I sent out. Then I changed my profile, to a negative style, that complained about the dating experiences with women, and how women can be manipulative, inconsiderate, immature, etc. All of a sudden I start getting all kinds of emails, and way more views from women. The number one thing women ask for on most dating profiles is a nice guy. So with this in mind, WHY WHY WHY do they ignore me when I'm nice but flock to me when I berate them ? I seriously want females to answer this. Dont attack my post, dont tell me how "you arent like that " , I want a straight forward answer. Pretend you dont have to choose sides male vs female for 5 mins and just give me an unbiased answer. Can you post some messages that you've gotten. I want to see what kind of responses your negative profile gets.
Cracker Jack Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I know not all women are like this, but I've often wondered why certain women embraced it. I even remember telling my friend off when she pissed me off (One-sided feelings were there for her), and she started to call me more, and always wanted to hang around me more. Since I knew I couldn't keep up the badassness, it went back to sq #1 eventually:sick: Ha!
Yamaha Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 A lot of women want to be the "one" who helps change you to a "better you", in order to prove to themselves that they are accomplished enough to do so. It is an ego boost to know that you have the power to change someone from bitter/angry/unemotional to warm/giving/emotional. A challenge, if you will - to know that you are better than any other girl you have dated and who have failed to "change" you. It is that whole "kiss the frog and make him into a prince" thing. Some women like to know that they have that transformative 'magic' and like to be able to use it in a competitive way against other women. If the guy is already a prince, already warm/kind/giving - where is the challenge? I see the same sort of thing when it comes to women who give up sex too easily. Where is the chase? How do you know you are different than any other person who came before you? It is that drive to be "different", to accomplish what others haven't that defines some people. They do want the 'nice' guy. They just want to be the one responsible for making you that way. Not all women are like this, thankfully. Spot on.......
somedude81 Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I always believed that bitterness and anger was unattractive. That's the reason why I try to make myself seem like a happy fun guy when I'm around girls. So should I actually let my bitterness, frustration and anger show? So that way I can find a girl who wants to fix me?
Yamaha Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I always believed that bitterness and anger was unattractive. That's the reason why I try to make myself seem like a happy fun guy when I'm around girls. So should I actually let my bitterness, frustration and anger show? So that way I can find a girl who wants to fix me? Just don't act like you have no issues that a women can't improve upon. If she sees you as not needing any of her "female tweeks" she may not be interested in you as a romantic partner (this is where the whole "bad boy changed to nice guy" fairytale comes from ).
Knittress Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Maybe you get MORE girls with a 'fix me' approach, but I've got to wonder... are those the ones with the best mental health? Like attracts like, and all.
threebyfate Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Any girl that responds to negativity has emotional issues.
Ilovehim Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I am on a dating site. For a few months I had my profile just like most guys, positive, upbeat, caring etc. I got almost no traffic or responses to the emails I sent out. Then I changed my profile, to a negative style, that complained about the dating experiences with women, and how women can be manipulative, inconsiderate, immature, etc. All of a sudden I start getting all kinds of emails, and way more views from women. The number one thing women ask for on most dating profiles is a nice guy. So with this in mind, WHY WHY WHY do they ignore me when I'm nice but flock to me when I berate them ? I seriously want females to answer this. Dont attack my post, dont tell me how "you arent like that " , I want a straight forward answer. Pretend you dont have to choose sides male vs female for 5 mins and just give me an unbiased answer. First, I want you to keep in mind that most women on dating sites (heck, most women in the world) have been hurt by LOVE. With that said, when you write stuff about how you have been hurt as well, they think they can relate to you. It's not that they are responding to negativity, they are simply responing to the fact that you guys have a huge factor in common :You have both loved and lost in the past and are now looking to start off fresh. Also, when women know you have been hurt, it shows you are caring because you loved before and have had your heart broken, so you will be more understanding towards their emotions. I hope this response made sense. Personally, whether a guy says stuff such as "women are manipulative" etc, I take it as if he has had bad experiences. However, I would like a guy simply because he "has been hurt in the past." So, not ALL women think this way. I hate drama so in my scenario a man who has been hurt BUT who understands that not all women are his ex'es is very attractive to me. We all have been hurt but that is not a good enough reason why our new partner should pay for what an old one did. I hope I answered your question.
Engadget Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Any girl that responds to negativity has emotional issues. Who DOESN'T have emotional issues? If you say you don't, you have em worse than anyone else.
Ilovehim Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 cORRECTION: I would NOT like a guy who describes himself as you did online...because i hate drama and i prefer a mature, calm man who understands that one woman does not equal all.
Ariadne Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I changed my profile, to a negative style, that complained about the dating experiences with women, and how women can be manipulative, inconsiderate, immature, etc. All of a sudden I start getting all kinds of emails, and way more views from women. I think this has to do with the fact that people love to bicker and complain. So when you write like that you incite them to join in the rant and tell "their" bad experiences. Of course they don't identify with the people you are describing.
jthorne Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I am on a dating site. For a few months I had my profile just like most guys, positive, upbeat, caring etc. I got almost no traffic or responses to the emails I sent out. Then I changed my profile, to a negative style, that complained about the dating experiences with women, and how women can be manipulative, inconsiderate, immature, etc. All of a sudden I start getting all kinds of emails, and way more views from women. The number one thing women ask for on most dating profiles is a nice guy. So with this in mind, WHY WHY WHY do they ignore me when I'm nice but flock to me when I berate them ? I seriously want females to answer this. Dont attack my post, dont tell me how "you arent like that " , I want a straight forward answer. Pretend you dont have to choose sides male vs female for 5 mins and just give me an unbiased answer.But the question is what quality of women are answering your negative ad? Are they the type you'd date? I wouldn't have responded to your ad. But a woman that wants to change you or a woman that thinks you might have low expectations might. JMO.
samsungxoxo Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 (edited) I have no idea what type of sane woman would want to listen to a complainer who belittles or makes generalizations about women. Certainly not me.... At age 23, I want my life stress-free and no melodramas. Do I want to wake-up with wrinkles on my face or migraines? No way....... I'm no body's therapist. If you need one, go find it on your own. If you're a person that likes drama, find someone that's compatible in that area. A drama queen mixed with a drama king make the perfect couple IMO.... LOL Edited May 30, 2010 by samsungxoxo
Feelin Frisky Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Because they are territorial and what you've said by being Mr. Tar and Feathers is an invitation to defend themsleves of the honor of their gender. As for MR. Nice Guy, anybody can "say" that. And it's one of those things that has to be shown, not told. Surely everyone wants to be treated nicely so I would just ignore that question and answer and be myself and let them make up their mind if I'm "nice" or the kind of "nice" they mean.
OceanTropic Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Because everyone is nice on dating sites. Thats the point, you try to attract someone and be interesting by being nice. When a woman comes across a profile that negative and complaining, there is something to talk about. If every guy says "i'm laid back, nice guy, love sports" it will be like eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevery single other profile she has viewed. Its like you coming across a profile that says "sweet, generous and loves to have fun" versus "Men are too insecure, every guy I date is either jealous or can't give me space." Which would you msg first? The second of course, there is more to say.
bac Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 IMO the totally positive profiles are totally fake and impersonal. When you start to be negative, it sounds more real and personal. Even a negative guy is better than a fake lier. Because there is hope that the negative guy might get happier when he meets the right girl, but the fake lier is hopeless no matter what.
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