Serenitynow Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 Its absolutely unbelievable how inconsiderate women are with dating. At the end of the date, the woman will tell me she had a great time, and to call her to do it again. Then the games begin. missed calls, sketchy text messages, etc. Why cant they just be upfront and say thanks but no thanks. Or it was nice meeting you but you're not my type. Women always say well I dont want to hurt his feelings. Do you have any efn clue how much damage you do by leading the guy on ? example : - I call her to ask her out for the weekend. she says shes off work at 5pm on saturday, call her and we can do something then - I may have friends call saturday to go do stuff I cancel with them because I'm expecting a date. - I may stop doing house/yard work early to get ready for the date - I shower and get ready for the date - the whole day is planned around going on a date But of course what happens ? You get the run around, lame excuse after excuse. People think they are so nice, mature and considerate, yet when it comes to dating, they could give a F less about you and the time they cause you to waste because they dont have the balls to be honest with you. I want a female to explain to me HOW they rationalize that they are NOT hurting my feelings by lying about their interest in me. If the woman tells me thanks but no thanks, I would jump for joy. Its not the act of rejection that drives me nuts, its the manipulative way that women go about it instead of just be upfront with me. Its a goddamn waste of time to even try to find a date anymore. Our society is a efn joke.
MyNameIsJane Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I agree with you. (and guys also do this too... usually in my experience when they are looking for a casual sex type of thing and not a relationship) And it sucks.. personally - I have done it... never have I said "yes, I am off at ___ we can hang out then" and then Houdini... but I have ended a date on a nice note and then not returned texts or calls... I get so nervous! First off... unless the date sucked major - I am not going to say anything that evening... It just feels wrong to have a guy take you out, pay for dinner, etc and then tell him you're not interested at the end of the evening... I should just text or call the next day and say thank you for a nice night but we don't have the right connection, etc... but what can I say? It makes me nervous.. and ill. So I just vanish. But guys do it too. They play the text games or say they want to hang out on saturday night and then vanish... its just a people thing.. not exclusive to either gender. And it sucks - but I have been semi-guilty of it too.
Author Serenitynow Posted May 29, 2010 Author Posted May 29, 2010 I dont date guys so I only comment on my experience with women. Although I do realize that 95% of guys are total *******s, thus the reason I have to deal with all the **** from the women that have been dicked over by them.
Eeyore79 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 It's tough to tell someone face to face that you're not interested in them. But I don't see why you can't admit it after the date is over - just say that you had a nice time but you feel that we're not compatible, or whatever. Do it by text if you can't face actually telling the person! Of course, when you do that, the other person often continues to pester you because they want to know what's wrong with them and exactly why you don't want to date them again, and it's difficult to deal with that sort of pressure when being truthful would be hurtful. It's much easier just to pacify the person by saying you'll see them again, and then quietly vanish, although imo doing that is much more hurtful anyway. People tend to take the easy way out though, rather than the honest one
jenifer1972 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 It's not just women, it is the entire human race has lost civility, manners, consideration, couth, you name it, all the social graces are down the drain. Just look at what is on prime time TV. Totally panders to the lowest common denominator in our society. People who behave the most childishly and narcissistically make it on TV. Makes me want to throw up. My feeling is you have to give out a vibe that you are a person who demands respect and integrity. Then if women don't call you back, or behave politely, well, that tells you what camp they fall in. Don't lose any sleep over them...Next....
somedude81 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 But of course what happens ? You get the run around, lame excuse after excuse. People think they are so nice, mature and considerate, yet when it comes to dating, they could give a F less about you and the time they cause you to waste because they dont have the balls to be honest with you. I want a female to explain to me HOW they rationalize that they are NOT hurting my feelings by lying about their interest in me. If the woman tells me thanks but no thanks, I would jump for joy. Its not the act of rejection that drives me nuts, its the manipulative way that women go about it instead of just be upfront with me. There's the issue right there. Women don't have balls. What, are you expecting them to man up? Those expressions are like that for a reason. Women are never expected to take charge. They will almost always play it nice and try to avoid conflict. That is there way. We have to be the men and make sure things happen. Don't wait around for women.
You'reasian Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 There's the issue right there. Women don't have balls. What, are you expecting them to man up? Those expressions are like that for a reason. Women are never expected to take charge. They will almost always play it nice and try to avoid conflict. That is there way. We have to be the men and make sure things happen. Don't wait around for women. Following up on this, while women are never expected to take charge, some women are capable of manning up, taking charge and hitting home runs. This is not to be confused with mean, outspoken, ultra perfectionist types. There's a fine line that separates mean, outspoken, perfectionism versus quality leadership.
2sunny Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 be perfectly clear - and expect her to be perfectly clear as well. like: you - want to go out Sat... at 7pm i will pick you up? her - i work until 5pm you - is that a yes or no answer? this allows NO ROOM for her to mislead you. she either says yes - or no. IF she doesn't say yes - then simply state - i'll take it as a no, since you never said yes - have a good weekend.
brainygirl Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 be perfectly clear - and expect her to be perfectly clear as well. like: you - want to go out Sat... at 7pm i will pick you up? her - i work until 5pm you - is that a yes or no answer? this allows NO ROOM for her to mislead you. she either says yes - or no. IF she doesn't say yes - then simply state - i'll take it as a no, since you never said yes - have a good weekend. Perfect answer, and I've found I have to do the same with guys too. "I'll text you sat and see what's going on" is not a date. "I'll pick you up at seven and we'll get a bite and go see a movie" is a date. People don't like to be rude and say "no" and close a door they really aren't sure they want to close, but they want to keep their options open too. It sucks. That's why men hate having the "are we in an exclusive relationship talk" if the talk never happens, they don't owe the person they've been seeing any of their time, consideration or loyalty, but get the benefit of someone to hang out with and maybe even have sex with. People of both genders just need to be upfront about what they want in a relationship and weather or not the person they are with at the moment meets those needs.
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