struggling :(

[ComEng]

I have been in a seroius relationship with a wonderful girl for almost 7 months now! I love her very much! I had a lot of surprises for her and we did a lot of things. She is not from here so for when her birthday came around I tried my hardest to make it very special because it was her first one away from home. I know that can be difficult. She decided that she will not be returning to school. Rather she will be returning home and going to school there. This was a drastic decision to say the least. Within three weeks she went from loving her major to she is bored with it and promptly switched. Then she just decided that she wasn't even coming back. She just said it one night in a text message. Didn't even call. So here is the background. When we had first met she told me about this dude that she was "close" to. One night we were just sitting in the truck and she said I can't treat her so much better than this dude ever could. That was sweet except that she had said that her and the dude were never that close. That made me a little confused. Sometimes she was very apprecaitive of all the dates and such that we went on, but over half off the time it really meant no nevermind to her. I brought this up before and she just said that she loves everything and doesn't like public displays of affection. I said alright cause if you are uncomfortable I am not going to push you. I just figured that over time she would become more comfortable. Well I was wrong. Nothing changed and this dude that I spoke of before popped up more and more. She would gets texts from him sometimes, skype, all while I was right there. She would hang out at his house a lot when she returned home for breaks and stuff. He became a topic out of her mouth a lot. So she returned home for good about a month ago now and has been with him a few times now. She always says that he is a bum and he is not even nice. So I ask her why does she even bother with him if he makes her so unhappy? She said that they are friends. I seen a bunch of pictures from a party with her friends one night. I seen more than 20 with him and her close. She was clinging on his arm with a huge grin, leaning with her head on his shoulder, etc. That hurt like a knife in the back. She doesn't like PDA's but there were a good bit of people around and she was clinging on him. I can't even get her to hold my hand in a crowded place sometimes. So I called and asked about it and she had no clue of these pictures. She said that she didn't know there was a camera there but in over 15 pics she is looking right at the camera smiling huge. She didn't see any issue. "its just friends." She doesn't get that close to me around others and its friends? Before she left to go home she said that if I couldn't make it out she would come see me. Unfortunately I have some health problems now and I have had a lot of tests the past few weeks and I was unable to make a trip out there. It made me sad cause I really miss her. But she didn't come out and I even invited her out to be there when I woke up and then we could spend memorial day weekend together. She didn't come out. So I need advice. This LDR is a hard thing. I miss her so much and love her more than anything. It seems to me that this relationship has always been more on sided on my side. This dude popping up all the time is rather confusing, and the pictures just hurt. I want to go out and see her so bad but I can not make taht trip right now. Any advice or opinions are aprreciated. Thank you for reading this.

[hoping2heal]

The fact that she texted to tell you she was leaving the country, rather than talking it over with you and doing it properly shows very clearly how she feels. She may enjoy your company and care for you but you do not do that to someone you love. I think you have been feeling your RS is more one sided because as evidinced by what is going on, it is.