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Posted

I'd been seeing someone for over two years, complicated arrangement. She left me by text in August I got very sick with depression for the months that followed due to her not talking to me at all. Less than five texts shared in that time up until about January when we both attended a mutual friends funeral. We fleetingly acknowledged each other but didn't speak at all. This set me back a lot. Well I heard nothing from her up until yesterday when she sent me a text.

 

Hi ..........., hope you don't mind but I would like my computer software and books please. I truly hope your OK.

 

I know this threads supposed to be about getting back.

The message is pretty stark, She's not asking how I am she's just saying she hopes I'm ok.

 

I'm thinking of just dropping her stuff round at her Mums and not replying to the text.

 

What do you think?

Posted

yeah don't even bother answering it, just drop it off and make no contact.

Posted

These aren't even breadcrumbs...she just wants her crap back...don't think any further into it...

Posted

I'd just text her back that since you never heard anything from her you assumed she didn't want anything she left so you threw it out.

  • Author
Posted

I'm not the game playing type, all her stuff is in a box i packed after she left me. I think the grown up thing to do would be to just take it to her mums.

Posted

That sounds like the right thing to do, but don't get dragged into talking to her mother, and don't respond to her text. Just drop off the box, and leave.

 

Arabella

  • Author
Posted

Too late for that,

 

She text back as I was on here saying

 

she understands for lack of response, Sorry and then told me where she's staying so if i do decide to return her belongings, thats where she'll be.

 

I messaged her back with telling her i was exhausted yesterday and of course id return her things.

 

her reply

 

sorry , thank you.

 

 

The software is photoshop and worth a few hundred quid and the books well about three books on photography. after 9 months?

 

Do you think shes just testing the water to see if i'd respond?

Posted

Do you think shes just testing the water to see if i'd respond?

 

It sounds to me that she just wants her stuff back..

Posted

Don't bother continuing to text her - take her stuff back and if she's there and starts a conversation with you then you should read more into that rather than impersonal text messages. If she isn't there, leave it outside and continue on your way.

Posted
Well I actually just met her and gave her stuff back to her. It was all very cordial we hugged each other she apologized for being a bitch at a recent funeral we both attended. I hugged her back an we both talked about work and photography.

 

In all honesty im glad I did it, I was deeply in love with this woman when we split and I ended up on anti depressants for three months after. I was quite literally a nervous wreck.

 

I decided to forgive her one morning on a bus into work. I didn't tell her, It was just something inside me that said it was the right time.

 

Anyway if she decides she wants to make a go of things again, It'll have to come from her.

 

Solear, I figured I would move this into your thread for you.

 

Sounds like you did everything right today. Good for you for staying strong in the face of the ex. Forgiveness is important for us, as I did the same thing but never told my ex. You forgive for your own healing.

 

Sounds like you kept the convo short, and light...And now you disappear. Good job.

Posted

Please don't look too deeply or analyze this. Sounds like she, for whatever reason, wants that stuff back.

 

I know that my ex still has some of my stuff, and some of it I would want back, but nothing of sentimental value. For me, it is a casualty of a breakup. I don't want to initiate contact at this point just to get back some stuff. The tradeoff in feeling like crap seeing or talking to her right now is much worse than losing that stuff.

 

Drop off the box of stuff and leave it at that.

Posted

Put her stuff on e-bay and take the money and have a nice night out.

  • 3 months later...
  • Author
Posted

Those of you that told me to just put her stuff in a box and leave it outside her mums house were right. It's completely set me back seeing her again and knowing that she's out there and still not willing to really talk to me has brought me right back to square one. I'm back to crying during the day and hating myself. My curiosity got the better of me and I desperately wanted to see her and hear her voice again.

 

And to what end?

 

Me telling her I missed her and not getting a reply.

 

Very low.

Posted

Did you drop her stuff off? Did you see her?

  • Author
Posted

she came round to where i live, we met outside i gave her her things she initiated a hug. and told me a few things.

 

she said she was going to keep in touch/ but didnt.

 

we texted each other a few times but shes gone cold again.

 

hurts alot.

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