tassie83 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 Recently my husband and I went on an overseas holiday. We met other couples, and singles for that matter, as a part of a tour. A week into the tour I noticed every time I turned around one particular woman would be close to my husband. I often noticed them chatting together. Often she would be in conversation with me and be looking at him the whole time. This woman was travelling with her husband I should note. To begin with I didn't give this much thought. It's not the first time someone has flirted with my husband. One night as we were walking home in a group of people the two of them drifted off on their own. At this point I started getting bothered. I realise I have become jealous. The next day I confronted my husband with what I had noticed. He was surprised and said he hadn't thought twice about any of it. The next night he said he paid a bit more attention and did notice that in conversations she only made eye contact with men and not women. So, I put her down as one of those flirty kind of personalities who likes male attention and got on with things. When I got home I added her, and all of the people I met overseas to facebook. Today I see she is friends with my husband, but not with me. I am so angry and I have no idea why. I'm usually a pretty calm and reasonable person. My husband and I have been married for over two years. In that time I've never felt this way or anywhere close to it. I don't think my husband is going to cheat, or even flirt with this woman. I'm not even sure why I am getting so upset. Am I becoming paranoid and insanely jealous, or is this a normal reaction? How can I cope with these feelings?
lovelorcet Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I would consider that a direct provocation by her and you have every right to be upset. If your husband had half a brain he would realize this and "unfriend" her.
make me believe Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 That would bother me too! I wonder how her husband feels about it. You aren't over-reacting to be upset in this situation. I agree with lovelorcet that your husband should unfriend her. She's not respecting you or your marriage at all with her behavior.
kittykat84 Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I think if you're generally not a jealous person and this is a once off, then it's probably your intuition causing these feelings and they are justified. IMHO I would ask the husband to un-friend her too and then not contact this woman ever again.
IronMaiden Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 This woman is a class A beotch.! She was and still is gunning for your man. The fact that they just "wandered off together alone" on the trip would have had me seething and I would have dealt with her right then and there frankly...she would never come near my husband again without fear of bodily harm. Don't tolerate this for one more second. And your husband is acting like an idiot. OF COURSE, he noticed the attention, and that they "happened" to just drift off together alone.
Butterflying Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 (edited) No matter what this woman has done or does, you must remember that you are only married to your husband, not anyone else. The complete responsibility is your husband's to recognize things and behavior that is inappropiate and disrespectful to your marriage. You don't have to ask him to unfriend that woman on Facebook. But you should definately have a more serious conversation with him about her. If he is wise, he will unfriend her on his own. On the other hand, if he keeps playing stupid like he doesn't see any potential harm in his connection to this type of woman, then you should be very concerned that your husband's integrity is lacking. Edited May 30, 2010 by Butterflying
Woman In Blue Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 One night as we were walking home in a group of people the two of them drifted off on their own.The next day I confronted my husband with what I had noticed. He was surprised and said he hadn't thought twice about any of it. LOL. Liar, liar, pants on fire. Surely you didn't believe that bullcrap story, did you? I don't think my husband is going to cheat, or even flirt with this woman. I'm not even sure why I am getting so upset. He knows exactly what he's doing - enjoying her attention. Come on Tassie, the guy isn't 12 years old and clueless. I don't believe for one second that he was "clueless" about her attraction to him, or that he had "innocently wandered off with her" and was completely oblivious that he'd done so.
goatee Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 facebook monster strikes again. As a guy who has been in this exact situation before, he's gonna have one angry wife breathing down his neck in the next the next couple of weeks. He better unfriend her now lol
Author tassie83 Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 Thanks guys, its so nice to have an objective viewpoint. I'm feeling less paranoid and more angry now.
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