SadandConfusedWA Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I used to be really shy when I was younger but think that I have mostly gotten over it by now. In general, I interact with more people, talk a lot more, and am never the quietest one in the group anymore. This girl who has known me for a year or so told me that I am "talkative but shy and that it's obvious that I am just talking to cover up my shyness". I am kind of depressed about this and now think that everybody sees me that way. It's even worse that I have confided in this girl before on how shy I used to be etc so that could be why she is saying this - or it could just be the truth. I am just puzzled by "talkative but shy" statement.
MrNate Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 Ah, don't worry about it too much miss, and don't get too down on yourself. It is possible. But, for me, I used to be extremely shy and I didn't talk too much, until my senior year of high school when things started to change. Now, on into college and beyond, I'm awfully outgoing. You can do it too. Just take small steps.
Art_Critic Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 (edited) I'm talkative but shy.. To me that means when faced with having to talk with people I can talk up a storm and walk out of the room beings friends with all the people I spoke to but no way in heck would I go out looking to talk to that many people.. I'd rather stay at home.. So.. I'm talkative when I need to be and shy when I need to be but in no way would I seek out people to talk to. Edited May 29, 2010 by Art_Critic
NoLove Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I think a lot of people who talk fast or a lot are just shy. I'm talkative but shy. I used to be really shy around anyone who I didn't know and people would make fun of me for not talking enough but now I talk a lot to cover up for the fact I never really want to talk.
stepka Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 They say there's 4 personality types and you can google these: outgoing introvert outgoing extrovert shy introvert shy extrovert I'm not sure if I got those second two exactly right, but you get the idea. I think we all slide up and down the continuum in our lifetimes. I think I'm a shy extrovert--it's tough.
reservoirdog1 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I think the girl I went out with last night is talkative but shy. I'd met her once before at an event, and in retrospect, that's how she seemed then. My task, therefore, is to bring her out of her shell.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted May 29, 2010 Author Posted May 29, 2010 I'm talkative but shy.. To me that means when faced with having to talk with people I can talk up a storm and walk out of the room beings friends with all the people I spoke to but no way in heck would I go out looking to talk to that many people.. I'd rather stay at home.. So.. I'm talkative when I need to be and shy when I need to be but in no way would I seek out people to talk to. This makes me feel better. That's what I am like exactly. I am an introvert at heart and enjoy being at home... But at the same time I can talk a LOT at social functions, lead meetings at work etc and have lots of friends/aquantancies that generally invite me to do stuff a lot. I tend to end up making excuses because I would rather stay at home and read a book
trueluV Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 This makes me feel better. That's what I am like exactly. I am an introvert at heart and enjoy being at home... But at the same time I can talk a LOT at social functions, lead meetings at work etc and have lots of friends/aquantancies that generally invite me to do stuff a lot. I tend to end up making excuses because I would rather stay at home and read a book the guy i used to see /date was exactly like this. i could not understand how it was possible, because whenever i was meeting him, he was seemed so outgoing and sociable and very talkative, but yet he would tell me he's shy and nervous. though we went on about 6 dates, and on those dates he would take me to the fanciest restaurants, paid on all occasions (i of course offered!), and would be very talkative, BUT! he never made a move on me-meaning we never got to hold hands or kiss. 6 dates and no kiss! if he is a shy type it makes sense somehow, but still i cannot understand it! we still keep in touch...i have no idea what's on his head. so, since it seems like you're a similar type, do you think this is possible?
Left in a Lurch Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 (edited) the guy i used to see /date was exactly like this. i could not understand how it was possible, because whenever i was meeting him, he was seemed so outgoing and sociable and very talkative, but yet he would tell me he's shy and nervous. though we went on about 6 dates, and on those dates he would take me to the fanciest restaurants, paid on all occasions (i of course offered!), and would be very talkative, BUT! he never made a move on me-meaning we never got to hold hands or kiss. 6 dates and no kiss! if he is a shy type it makes sense somehow, but still i cannot understand it! we still keep in touch...i have no idea what's on his head. so, since it seems like you're a similar type, do you think this is possible? I think it is definitely possible. I am like this but, 6 dates is a long time. When you're shy like that it's almost like putting on an act to cover being shy, forcing yourself to not come across as shy. It takes longer to warm up to people and feel comfortable with them. Usually I overanalyze situations and conversations in my head, but when I need to I can turn it off for a while. Sometimes I look for the perfect opportunity to make a move but I can never see the perfect opportunity until after I missed it and shyness can keep me from taking a chance. At some point it comes down to not thinking and not looking for the perfect opportunity and not caring if I make a fool of myself, just going for it. It's like sometimes I just can't get past my brain, I analyze the situation and if I think too much every chance seems like the wrong time and it seems like I will make a fool of myself. If you like the guy, try making a move or setting him up so it is a no-brainer for him to make the move and you might be surprised. Once he is comfortable the shyness will be gone with you. Edited May 29, 2010 by Chat Room Hero
Kamille Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I think "talkative but shy" definitely fits how I would describe myself. I love chatting and getting to know people, but, when with strangers, I usually stir the conversation away from me and never like to draw attention to myself. I used to try and be more extroverted, but it just wasn't me. I've also come to the realization that a lot of guys dig the "talkative but shy" combo. It's a really good combination: "approachable but mysterious". So don't take offense, if anything, it's a great quality to have. And, like you and AC, I love spending time at home - but always enjoy myself when I'm out.
trueluV Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I think it is definitely possible. I am like this but, 6 dates is a long time. When you're shy like that it's almost like putting on an act to cover being shy, forcing yourself to not come across as shy. It takes longer to warm up to people and feel comfortable with them. Usually I overanalyze situations and conversations in my head, but when I need to I can turn it off for a while. Sometimes I look for the perfect opportunity to make a move but I can never see the perfect opportunity until after I missed it and shyness can keep me from taking a chance. At some point it comes down to not thinking and not looking for the perfect opportunity and not caring if I make a fool of myself, just going for it. It's like sometimes I just can't get past my brain, I analyze the situation and if I think too much every chance seems like the wrong time and it seems like I will make a fool of myself. If you like the guy, try making a move or setting him up so it is a no-brainer for him to make the move and you might be surprised. Once he is comfortable the shyness will be gone with you. thank you Chat Room Hero! yes, i am interested in this guy, and i started a few threads about this earlier, but never got it figured. i am somehow shy too, but not as him and can try to make a setting so something can happen-like brushing cheeks or hands. he's still asking me out!! but whenever i meet him, i feel like i was meeting a good friend though i am attracted to him -because there is nothing physical with him.
ADF Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 People can indeed be talkative but shy. They use a torrent of words to keep others at a distance, to keep things light and trivial to avoid real conversation. It is not the most common way of being shy, but it exists.
You'reasian Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I used to be really shy when I was younger but think that I have mostly gotten over it by now. In general, I interact with more people, talk a lot more, and am never the quietest one in the group anymore. This girl who has known me for a year or so told me that I am "talkative but shy and that it's obvious that I am just talking to cover up my shyness". I am kind of depressed about this and now think that everybody sees me that way. It's even worse that I have confided in this girl before on how shy I used to be etc so that could be why she is saying this - or it could just be the truth. I am just puzzled by "talkative but shy" statement. She knows you for a year. Let's break that down. How many months out of the year, days out out of the week, hours per day does she spend with you? What is the nature of your relationship with this woman? Professional? Personal? Personal in close proximity? Talk to more of your friends. You are making a conclusion based off of one sample. Come back with more data
spookie Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I am talkative but shy. An "outgoing introvert" if you will. (I really like those breakdowns). Like you I used to be extremely shy in addition to being introverted, but over the years, I have learned how to control social interactions so that I wasn't uncomfortable. It isn't that I don't enjoy those interactions, but if the dynamics rear off course, I become uncomfortable all over again.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted May 29, 2010 Author Posted May 29, 2010 I am talkative but shy. An "outgoing introvert" if you will. (I really like those breakdowns). Like you I used to be extremely shy in addition to being introverted, but over the years, I have learned how to control social interactions so that I wasn't uncomfortable. It isn't that I don't enjoy those interactions, but if the dynamics rear off course, I become uncomfortable all over again. The only time these days when I don't talk much is when I am in a really bad mood or when surrounded by people that make me extremly uncomfortable (which is rare). I can think of one other scenario: when I am around those extremly loud, dominant, outgoing extroverts who talk so much that it's hard to get a word in because they basically talk over you, but even then I do try
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