Are average women really ignored by guys THAT much?

[sagetalk]

 

1. If I had a penny for everytime I heard men justify any number of behaviors based on having eyeballs, I would be rich.

 

2. And I sure do love how most of the guys here seem to believe that "working out more and dressing more feminine" is the magic key to happiness with a man.

 

3. I work out very hard, I dress very femininely. But I think men, even "average" guys today have adopted an ideal they think they deserve that they've eaten up from media about female beauty. And ideal that isn't even realistic.

 

4. When men themselves stress how visual they are, then turn around and get pissed at women when we take those comments for exactly what they are and understand how easily men are led around by being "visual", it doesn't promote healthy attitudes for either gender or anything positive. No one is doing anyone any favors whenever they say "men are visual". Because this becomes a justification often for behaviors that treat women less like people and more like something that should only be there to attract a guy.

 

1. Sounds like alot of people tell you the truth, you should be happy they aren't lying. They could say, "I'm not visual at all, I only like you for your heart", they just lied. Is that what you want?

 

2. It's not a magic key to happiness. What it does is generate interest in men, then you can start weeding them out and find happiness.

 

3. If you are working out and dress feminine, and guys are still blowing you off then maybe the problem is the guys you want to like you. Are your expectations for men too high? It sure sounds like it.

 

4. Women are just as shallow, they are just shallow in different ways. Players/alpha males aren't players/alpha males because they look good, they are players/alpha because they know how to act around women. It's not because they are good people, good hearts, kind, caring, honest or any of that. It's because they know how to get women to want them physically and girls love it. That is at least equally as shallow as being visual.

 

If you want to be bitter about men and their attraction towards looks, then that's your choice. But if I was bitter about players and alpha males you'd call me on it in a second (as many girls on this forum love doing to guys). Being bitter about what attracts men is silly, doing what attracts them is wise. The same goes for me (learn what attracts women no matter how dumb or shallow it seems), you, and everyone.

Edited May 31, 2010 by sagetalk

[sagetalk]

I think it would be quite unfair for you to lump all men under the umbrella of sagetalk. :/

 

I'm nothing like most men in many areas. The number one difference is that I avoid lying for anyone or anything. Even if it means the girl will really like my answer if I lie. Lying generates bad character and bad character generates bad/toxic behavior. I have never disrespected or abused a women physically or sexually my entire life. I've never created a child out of wedlock, never cheated on a girl, never lied to her, never used her for just sex, and I expect more from myself than I would ever ask of them. I open doors for them, I pay for dates, and I genuinely care about their life.

 

So if I'm not the type of guy you think is great, then that's your problem. Go date guys that lie to you and cheat on you. Go date guys nothing like me. Let me know how that goes.

[MrNate]

I'm not. I dont know how he talks but he didn't say anything different then what i've seen alot of LS men say. "BUT..but but..men are visual". While i understand the importance in men's attraction to women, I think when this statement gets tossed out to defend any behavior, it does both genders a disservice.

 

Maybe they say it because it's true for them?

 

It does you a disservice if you let it.

 

Men are very visual creatures. And we will look at hot women we are attracted to, just in the same way women look at a guy they find attractive.

[MrNate]

JS, you're getting worked up over a man who determines a woman's feminity by how often she wears pink clothes, high heels, and lots of makeup, a man who believes that the court will support him if he gets a girl pregnant and doesn't want her to abort, and a man who believes that all good-looking women respond positively to being ignored. A man who claims that it's folly for men to take women's advice on how to get women, but consistently insists that men's opinions, especially his own, on how women should attract men are indisputable. I really don't think it's fair to think all men are like him.

 

Also, I think you really need to chill. Just do your own thing - as much as the men here like to tout looks as #1 priority, it isn't true for every man in the world. There ARE men who prefer the laid-back tomboy to the ultra-feminine woman, men who prefer assertive women to the delicate flower, men who will like you for YOU. There may not be many of them, but who cares about the others?

 

Be yourself - those who matter won't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

 

You saved me a lengthy response to JS, Elswyth. Thanks.

[Els]

I'm nothing like most men in many areas. The number one difference is that I avoid lying for anyone or anything. Even if it means the girl will really like my answer if I lie. Lying generates bad character and bad character generates bad/toxic behavior. I have never disrespected or abused a women physically or sexually my entire life. I've never created a child out of wedlock, never cheated on a girl, never lied to her, never used her for just sex, and I expect more from myself than I would ever ask of them. I open doors for them, I pay for dates, and I genuinely care about their life.

 

So if I'm not the type of guy you think is great, then that's your problem. Go date guys that lie to you and cheat on you. Go date guys nothing like me. Let me know how that goes.

 

This makes you a 'great' man, a 'man unlike any other'? Speaks volumes about the sad state of society if it does. This, and more, describes EVERY man I have been with. I would have thought that this is the minimum definition of a 'decent' man - to not lie, not cheat, not use or abuse, and be chivalrous if he expects the woman to be a lady.

 

I wonder how your response to me would be if I termed myself a 'woman unlike any other' just because I don't lie to my partners, don't cheat on them, don't use them, give them lots of great sex, and genuinely care about their life. All of the above is something I expect of myself and any partners, not something that I believe makes me or them special.

[somedude81]

This makes you a 'great' man, a 'man unlike any other'? Speaks volumes about the sad state of society if it does. This, and more, describes EVERY man I have been with. I would have thought that this is the minimum definition of a 'decent' man - to not lie, not cheat, not use or abuse, and be chivalrous if he expects the woman to be a lady.

The problem with society and dating is that some men who are not decent men end up, getting a lot of action. This leaves the men who are trying to be decent and not getting any action very frustrated and we wonder if there is any point to being a decent guy. Though usually the reason for not getting anything is because the guy is usually trying too hard to be nice so he never even tries to get what he wants. That's where nice guys come from.

 

About the other point of this thread. Yes men are visual. If I don't think a woman is attractive enough to meet my minimum standards, I won't bother getting to know her.

 

My criteria are simple. She has to at least be cute, which 85% of women are. She has to weigh less than I do and have a weight proportionate body. Of course she has to be a normal human with two arms, two legs etc. Also since I'm only 5'6, 5'9 is like my cut-off point for a woman's height.

 

Now if there was two girls who both met my criteria, and one was considerably more attractive than the other. The deciding factor would be their personalities, energy level, interests etc. I would definitely choose a cute nerdy girl over a hot girl If I thought I'd have more fun with and had more in common with her.

 

Of course if both girls were equal in personality, hobbies etc and I was compatible with both, I'd choose the hot girl.

 

So looks are important, just not the most important.

Edited May 31, 2010 by somedude81

[Els]

The problem with society and dating is that some men who are not decent men end up, getting a lot of action. This leaves the men who are trying to be decent and not getting any action very frustrated and we wonder if there is any point to being a decent guy. Though usually the reason for not getting anything is because the guy is usually trying too hard to be nice so he never even tries to get what he wants. That's where nice guys come from.

 

This works both ways. Very often those who aren't 'decent' are rewarded more so than those who are, and it applies to both genders. Plenty of women are mistresses of extremely rich men - they sleep with them for (lots of) money and luxury, and then have an unknowing stud of a lover-boy on the side. I would say that they 'benefit' more than me. Yet I would not use that as an excuse for being anything less myself.

 

Btw, I do not see how someone has to 'try too hard to be nice' to fulfill the basic criteria of a decent man. Is it really that difficult not to lie, cheat, use, and abuse?

Edited May 31, 2010 by Elswyth

[sagetalk]

 

1. This makes you a 'great' man, a 'man unlike any other'? Speaks volumes about the sad state of society if it does.

 

2. This, and more, describes EVERY man I have been with.

 

3. I would have thought that this is the minimum definition of a 'decent' man - to not lie, not cheat, not use or abuse, and be chivalrous if he expects the woman to be a lady.

 

4. I wonder how your response to me would be if I termed myself a 'woman unlike any other' just because I don't lie to my partners, don't cheat on them, don't use them, give them lots of great sex, and genuinely care about their life. All of the above is something I expect of myself and any partners, not something that I believe makes me or them special.

 

1. Yes, I can say that I've known very few men that don't lie to women. The women don't seem to mind, so the guys just keep doing it. If lying to a girl means you get sex, almost every man alive is going to lie.

 

2. You're assuming you knew when they were lying, this is a very bad assumption. There are many men who are master liars, you'd never know unless you caught them in it. I never said girls never lie to me, I said I never lie to them. I know when I lie, knowing when other people lie is completely different.

 

3. It is almost completely dead in modern society.

 

4. If you do all that and are in great shape, then I would say you were an ideal woman for man. And yes, it would make you special whether you realize it or not. Just because you don't think of something as special, does not mean it isn't. It just means it isn't special to you.

[Els]

1. Yes, I can say that I've known very few men that don't lie to women. The women don't seem to mind, so the guys just keep doing it. If lying to a girl means you get sex, almost every man alive is going to lie.

 

Oh come now. Gold-diggers lying to men get plenty of benefits as well. Does that mean that every woman alive has a valid moral excuse to seek out rich men and lie to them?

 

2. You're assuming you knew when they were lying, this is a very bad assumption. There are many men who are master liars, you'd never know unless you caught them in it. I never said girls never lie to me, I said I never lie to them. I know when I lie, knowing when other people lie is completely different.

 

Fair enough. It is impossible to indisputably prove such a point, even if I'd had cams installed in their rooms. The other points still stand, however.

 

3. It is almost completely dead in modern society.

 

4. If you do all that and are in great shape, then I would say you were an ideal woman for man. And yes, it would make you special whether you realize it or not. Just because you don't think of something as special, does not mean it isn't. It just means it isn't special to you.

 

I suppose it isn't special to me because every man I have been with or even known well has been that way. They have each had their own issues and shortcomings, but those basics have never faltered. Possibly this is due to the crowd that I choose rather than a general society thing, yes.

 

Either way, this is becoming far too personal and far too off-topic to continue. I only wish to bring opinions and arguments into debates - I don't wish to bring up your personal life or mine.

[sagetalk]

 

Either way, this is becoming far too personal and far too off-topic to continue. I only wish to bring opinions and arguments into debates - I don't wish to bring up your personal life or mine.

 

I think it is on topic, and that you missed the entire point of my reply.

 

Average girls do get ignored by men if they do not visually appeal to them. Being in shape is the major factor in that category (not the only one). The answer to the original post is really that simple.

 

If you think most of the men in your life tell you the truth, then I'm glad for you. I hope they do, but a lie is a lie whether it makes you feel happy or angry. Had I said in my post that men aren't visual, it would have made the girls on here very happy. But I didn't because it's a bold face lie. I do this in my everyday life (and yes, it has its cost), but at the end of the day I know that I was honest. Not the honest that many people say they are looking for (tell me what I want to hear), but actually, genuinely honest. Which I think is one of the biggest things lacking in modern day, politically correct, relationships. You never truly care about someone unless everything you tell them is the truth.

[Els]

I agree about telling the truth.

 

I am positive that none of the men I have been with have lied about looks not being the most important thing to them, however. If it had been, they would not be with me. A year is too much time to waste to live a lie. They have all been pretty brutally honest with regards to my appearance, as I have been with them (I can very objectively say that all of them were average in terms of looks, just as I am).

 

I agree that for the majority of men, girls who are not 'hot' will be ignored. Hence my first post to MrNate's re: connection making an average-looking woman appealing. But the majority of men, including you, do not speak for all men.

 

And yes, we are going off-topic, as you have stated your opinion and I mine. Which to believe, is up to the reader's discretion. You aren't going to convince me, and I'm not going to convince you. It is probably best to leave it at that.

Edited May 31, 2010 by Elswyth

[GoodOnPaper]

Btw, I do not see how someone has to 'try too hard to be nice' to fulfill the basic criteria of a decent man. Is it really that difficult not to lie, cheat, use, and abuse?

 

The answer is no -- but the average guy who looks like he doesn't lie, cheat, use, and/or abuse is usually dismissed early on as "boring". Trying too hard to be nice is the "nice guy's" misguided way of trying to generate attraction, but we all know that that doesn't work . . .

 

As I said in the companion thread about average men, I don't think average women are ignored by guys at all. I suspect that most of these average women have several options available at any given time. However, she may or may not like most or all of those options. IMO, the average guy would be thrilled to have options . . . period. With options, the right woman for an LTR will eventually come along. I think the average woman doesn't place much value in options in and of themselves -- they are too easy to come by.

[sagetalk]

I agree about telling the truth.

 

1. I am positive that none of the men I have been with have lied about looks not being the most important thing to them, however. If it had been, they would not be with me. A year is too much time to waste to live a lie. They have all been pretty brutally honest with regards to my appearance, as I have been with them (I can very objectively say that all of them were average in terms of looks, just as I am).

 

2. I agree that for the majority of men, girls who are not 'hot' will be ignored. Hence my first post to MrNate's re: connection making an average-looking woman appealing. But the majority of men, including you, do not speak for all men.

 

3. And yes, we are going off-topic, as you have stated your opinion and I mine. Which to believe, is up to the reader's discretion. You aren't going to convince me, and I'm not going to convince you. It is probably best to leave it at that.

 

1. Looks aren't the most important thing to me by a long shot. But a girl has to meet some standards. I'm not attracted to very overweight girls (I'm a slimmer guy), that doesn't mean looks are my number one. They have to be alot more than just great looking or I won't even bother. They may be honest about your appearance (I think that's great), but that in no way means they are honest about everything.

 

2. I would ask out an average girl that meets my standards, she doesn't have to be hot by "Maxim" standards. I've seen many average girls that I think are hot. The key for me is fitness when it comes to physical hotness. Why would anyone date someone who they aren't physically attracted to ?

 

3. I wasn't aware I was trying to convince you of anything, I'm just replying to your messages. And I still think we are on topic.

[MrNate]

The answer is no -- but the average guy who looks like he doesn't lie, cheat, use, and/or abuse is usually dismissed early on as "boring". Trying too hard to be nice is the "nice guy's" misguided way of trying to generate attraction, but we all know that that doesn't work . . .

 

As I said in the companion thread about average men, I don't think average women are ignored by guys at all. I suspect that most of these average women have several options available at any given time. However, she may or may not like most or all of those options. IMO, the average guy would be thrilled to have options . . . period. With options, the right woman for an LTR will eventually come along. I think the average woman doesn't place much value in options in and of themselves -- they are too easy to come by.

 

 

This is a very good response.

[pantherj]

Funny, I had an upbeat attitude until I decided I was ready to date again.

 

I have great muscle strength. I can out last most people I know when it comes to hiking or biking, all measures of my health are excellent, aside from being over weight.

 

It was told to me IN THIS THREAD that I shouldn't be looking to meet guys in clubs or online.

 

Still haven't gotten a reasonable answer of where else is there.

 

And yeah, there are lots of threads here with men, some my age, moaning and groaning about not being able to approach women.

 

I have to approach men, they don't approach me.

 

Which gets me back to . . . . I might as well give up. I am undatable. I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm a great friend and hellacious in bed.

 

But not at all datable.

 

Thanks LS. Appreciate it.

 

Are you divorced with 3 children? And you mention in this post that you are overweight. Those are the factors working against you. Many of the guys on this forum are not overwieght, never married, no kids, and in good health. I feel more sorry for the guys who never even had a shot at marriage because of a lack of height, muscle mass, ect.

 

I'm not sure why you're thinking of giving up on dating. You are capable of losing weight. Why quit before you lose the extra pounds? Slim down. You can look for guys online, or in clubs if you like. The best way to meet single men is to make new friends. Consider the massive horde of single guys in the U.S. Now consider how many single guys 1 decent looking girl knows. Make some new girl friends, and tell them your on the prowl. Girls love to try and set their friends up with guys. They play matchmaker on a regular basis.

[pantherj]

If I had a penny for everytime I heard men justify any number of behaviors based on having eyeballs, I would be rich.

 

And I sure do love how most of the guys here seem to believe that "working out more and dressing more feminine" is the magic key to happiness with a man. Who is that more insulting to? Men or women? Telling women the sum of their appeal is their body and the sum of what men are interested in from women is their body?

 

I work out very hard, I dress very femininely. But I think men, even "average" guys today have adopted an ideal they think they deserve that they've eaten up from media about female beauty. And ideal that isn't even realistic.

 

And I love how men want to be wanted for who they are, so many men with very average incomes around her etoss around the word "gold-digger" acting like they actually ahve gold to dig for. But they sure do love to encourage women to do the things neccesary to make them shallowly more appealing to the male gender.

 

When men themselves stress how visual they are, then turn around and get pissed at women when we take those comments for exactly what they are and understand how easily men are led around by being "visual", it doesn't promote healthy attitudes for either gender or anything positive. No one is doing anyone any favors whenever they say "men are visual". Because this becomes a justification often for behaviors that treat women less like people and more like something that should only be there to attract a guy.

 

The media has absolutely nothing to do with determining which women men find attractive. A man's perception of female beauty is completely divorced from what the media feeds to the public. The media does go a long way in making women feel bad about their looks, but that same media has no effect on what a man finds attractive. If a man is a chubby chaser, loves big women, then watching t.v all day won't change that fact in any way. Not happening. I like a specific type of women, certain build, certain personality, and I don't care for 'Victoria's Secrets' type girls. The media can't cause me to change my built-in biological desire for a certain type of woman. It's not my choice as to which women I find attractive, and which I don't. It's not the media's choice either. My genes decide.

[Eoweniel]

I can't say for sure what's the "true" answer to this question, however I will share my own experiences.

 

I refuse to call myself hot, but I know I have some quite...unique looks. My partners (current one and past ones), and male friends have always commented on my looks, usually using extremes to define it (so not just like...pretty, or cute). I know I have an outstanding body, and I think that if guys were to rate me, I would definitely land quite a bit above average. However... I get no particularly obvious attention. I get looked at, in particular by girls who seem to be glaring at me, when all I do is try to smile back if they glare my way.

In my 21 years, I have never been openly hit on like that, IRL. I've gotten pleeenty of looks, bottom pinching etcetera, but not a single approach, not even guys trying to act friendly.

 

However, I will admit I am shy, and that I may be giving off a posture/aura that says "leave me alone". I have tried to think of how I conduct myself in public, but it doesn't seem to be helping my case at all. Guys stare, girls glare. And on the bus etc, people will always choose the other seat that's empty, but never the one next to me. So either I'm really ugly, or really gorgeous, cause for some reason, I get the impression that people find me somewhat... intimidating.

 

Atop of being shy, I will add though; I am a very intelligent woman. I'm not all that much of a girly woman who loves shoes and shopping. I dress in dark colors (not any style, just the darker colors and tight clothes)... I also am a gamer, and have a much easier time understanding and relating to guys... And I'm nice, not bitchy. Just not very social. So it's not like anyone could say that I have an unappealing personality.

 

This leads me to the conclusion that average gets more attention than any other extreme, whether it be an above average or below average extreme. I won't place myself anywhere, but obviously there's something wrong with me since people around me seem to prefer to avoid me.

 

Mind, these are my opinions/views. Not telling anyone that this is how it usually is.

[Bangle]

I'm an average looking guy and yet I have attracted numerous women are better looking, intelligent and richer than me. If I can attract women anyone can, regardless of looks. My best girlfriend was a girl who everyone considered average, because to me she was anything but average. Her personality melted my heart and her smile gave me dizzy head. How I wish I still knew her...

[kiss_andmakeup]

I can't say for sure what's the "true" answer to this question, however I will share my own experiences.

 

I refuse to call myself hot, but I know I have some quite...unique looks. My partners (current one and past ones), and male friends have always commented on my looks, usually using extremes to define it (so not just like...pretty, or cute). I know I have an outstanding body, and I think that if guys were to rate me, I would definitely land quite a bit above average. However... I get no particularly obvious attention. I get looked at, in particular by girls who seem to be glaring at me, when all I do is try to smile back if they glare my way.

In my 21 years, I have never been openly hit on like that, IRL. I've gotten pleeenty of looks, bottom pinching etcetera, but not a single approach, not even guys trying to act friendly.

 

However, I will admit I am shy, and that I may be giving off a posture/aura that says "leave me alone". I have tried to think of how I conduct myself in public, but it doesn't seem to be helping my case at all. Guys stare, girls glare. And on the bus etc, people will always choose the other seat that's empty, but never the one next to me. So either I'm really ugly, or really gorgeous, cause for some reason, I get the impression that people find me somewhat... intimidating.

 

Atop of being shy, I will add though; I am a very intelligent woman. I'm not all that much of a girly woman who loves shoes and shopping. I dress in dark colors (not any style, just the darker colors and tight clothes)... I also am a gamer, and have a much easier time understanding and relating to guys... And I'm nice, not bitchy. Just not very social. So it's not like anyone could say that I have an unappealing personality.

 

This leads me to the conclusion that average gets more attention than any other extreme, whether it be an above average or below average extreme. I won't place myself anywhere, but obviously there's something wrong with me since people around me seem to prefer to avoid me.

 

Mind, these are my opinions/views. Not telling anyone that this is how it usually is.

 

I've had similar experiences to you. While I wouldn't consider myself "hot" or Victoria's Secret model material, I think I'm decently attractive and I know I have a great body (and I work hard to keep it that way). And like you I have rarely been approached by random men in public. You mentioned that you have a "unique" look and I am kind of the same way...I feel I am more of an unconventional attractiveness than your typical "hottie." And perhaps that has something to do with it?

 

Leaving myself out of the equation, since I don't like to rate my own looks, I will say that on a standard evening out, my friends whom I would consider average looking get the most attention from guys. The ones that I consider above-average and below-average get less.

 

While I've never had trouble finding or attracting men, I am rarely approached or propositioned in public by them.

[pantherj]

Nice looking women who are not approached in public usually have a certain type of behavior that causes men to steer clear. Guys

instinctively read body language and facial expressions to determine who is approachable, and who isn't. A blank expression with closed body language will usually keep guys away, except for guys who are looking for a difficult challenge.

 

When an average looking girl gets more attention than an above average looking girl, it's almost a certainty that the better looking girl is giving off 'don't approach' signals. While the average looking girl is giving off 'pay attention to me!' signals. Guys take body language and facial expressions seriously. If you have no facial expression, and your body language is closed, that is the same as saying "leave me alone". You may be a friendly person, but a lot of guys are not going to risk getting blasted by you for approaching at the wrong time.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Nice looking women who are not approached in public usually have a certain type of behavior that causes men to steer clear. Guys

instinctively read body language and facial expressions to determine who is approachable, and who isn't. A blank expression with closed body language will usually keep guys away, except for guys who are looking for a difficult challenge.

 

When an average looking girl gets more attention than an above average looking girl, it's almost a certainty that the better looking girl is giving off 'don't approach' signals. While the average looking girl is giving off 'pay attention to me!' signals. Guys take body language and facial expressions seriously. If you have no facial expression, and your body language is closed, that is the same as saying "leave me alone". You may be a friendly person, but a lot of guys are not going to risk getting blasted by you for approaching at the wrong time.

 

I have definitely considered this, and it could very well be the case!

[Eoweniel]

Nice looking women who are not approached in public usually have a certain type of behavior that causes men to steer clear. Guys

instinctively read body language and facial expressions to determine who is approachable, and who isn't. A blank expression with closed body language will usually keep guys away, except for guys who are looking for a difficult challenge.

 

When an average looking girl gets more attention than an above average looking girl, it's almost a certainty that the better looking girl is giving off 'don't approach' signals. While the average looking girl is giving off 'pay attention to me!' signals. Guys take body language and facial expressions seriously. If you have no facial expression, and your body language is closed, that is the same as saying "leave me alone". You may be a friendly person, but a lot of guys are not going to risk getting blasted by you for approaching at the wrong time.

 

 

I have also considered this, good sir/madam!

I've been trying to think of how I look (body language/posture/facial expression)...but I only realize that; What the heck would I be smiling for and doing anything BUT just sitting there, waiting to get off to where ever I'm going while on the bus? I mean, if I had friends or someone next to me to talk to, I'd laugh and talk and make gestures, but I go out alone. Not really anything a lonely woman/girl can do to attract attention, WITHOUT it coming off as her specifically -wanting- that attention... Wow, hope that makes sense.

But I definitely think you're onto something. Cause it reminds me of when me and my guy were sitting on the bus a couple weeks ago, talking, laughing... We actually had people looking towards us and just smiling from seeing us laugh like that! I don't know if they were looking at him or me, or both of us, but yeah...acting a bit more lively definitely seemed to have done the trick.

[pantherj]

I have also considered this, good sir/madam!

I've been trying to think of how I look (body language/posture/facial expression)...but I only realize that; What the heck would I be smiling for and doing anything BUT just sitting there, waiting to get off to where ever I'm going while on the bus? I mean, if I had friends or someone next to me to talk to, I'd laugh and talk and make gestures, but I go out alone. Not really anything a lonely woman/girl can do to attract attention, WITHOUT it coming off as her specifically -wanting- that attention... Wow, hope that makes sense.

But I definitely think you're onto something. Cause it reminds me of when me and my guy were sitting on the bus a couple weeks ago, talking, laughing... We actually had people looking towards us and just smiling from seeing us laugh like that! I don't know if they were looking at him or me, or both of us, but yeah...acting a bit more lively definitely seemed to have done the trick.

 

I was just talking about in general, not so much about the bus. A guy on this forum made a post about an experience he had on a bus (I think it was a bus). He sat down next to an attractive girl on the bus, and she let out a loud groan, as if he was some sort of jerk for sitting next to her. If 1 girl did that, then I assume thousands have done it. I'll be honest, if I get on a bus and there are 2 seats available, 1 beside an attractive girl, and the other beside an old man, I'm sitting beside the old man. The attractive girl might think I'm planning to hit on her. Who wants that pressure? No pressure with the old man, no evil eye, maybe a few farts, but I'll risk it.

[MrNate]

Well, this thread has risen from the dead lol.

 

But what I can say is that I think a lot of times, nice looking women aren't approached because, well, they're nice looking.

 

I can't help but recall countless times when me and my buds were out just chilling and when a good looking woman walks by, no one says anything and the talking ceases until she's gone. Never once did one think of approaching her.

 

So I think it can be considered a mixture of a pretty woman giving off 'dont approach' signals, and a matter of men being intimidated by women. The latter is usually the more common case.