Stephie Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 I'm moving back to my home town Sunday. I moved where I am now a year ago with my ex we live right on the lake and 2 months ago he walked out got tired of fighting and just left. I was left with everything. I dont have many friends here so this has been the hardest 2 months. I got my dream job here and became a teacher. I have been going back and fourth for the past 2 months should I stay or should I leave my job and give up any fight for him. I finally realized it was time to leave that sitting here alone everynight in our house crying wasn't going to work anymore I was worth more. I told my job goodbye today and as I walked out the door tears started pouring I received so many gifts and cards saying how I have truely touched so many. It got me thinking just how important I was that this is just a chapter in my life one that starts my begining the memories and adventure can never be replaced. I loved this man with all my heart but I hid something from him and became very depressed and pushed him away. I finally told him over an email and after talking almost everyday for the past 2 months he didn't respond. Thats when I realized just the kind of man he is because the thing I hid is one of the most important things in my life and I might not be able to accomplish this. I'm packing my memories cursing myself for not being stronger I am moving home back in with Mom to pay off debt and leaving the job and place I have always dreamed of. Why? I had to close the blinds tonight looking out at the lake and all the people having so much fun made me sick here I am packing and having to start my life over while he is probably one of the ones on the water. I have to remind myself I am worth more and I can always come back but not with him he broke me and I can't let him do that anymore. He still loves me tells me that but he said he just realized we weren't right that we shouldn't fight and I shouldn't be so mad all the time. He got tired of trying to make me happy now I think if I would have only told him what was really going on but he probably still would have left. Its just hard he has it so easy I am the one crying and left with everything.
aeren944 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I completely understand how you feel. You're damn right, though... you deserve WAY more than that... no matter if you believe it or not right now. You are obviously worth so much more than how you were treated. The cards and the gifts alone should tell you that. You will get better... you will move past this and become even better. Yes, just hang on!
Author Stephie Posted May 29, 2010 Author Posted May 29, 2010 I know I do but this place is beautiful its the town I have always dreamed of I just went for a drive and I'm thinking I have made the biggest mistake by leaving. Maybe its just there is so much going on this weekend so many people, boats, and events and I'm moving to flat lands with nothing. I'm going home to family and friends but nothing like it is here. ugh I hate him for doing this to me...
teanoranges Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 You know, I did the same thing... sort of. I moved to a city to be closer to my ex.. we broke up a month later. I stuck around thinking he'd come around. he didn't. He got with another woman 2 months after the break up, and I left. Super speedy, I got out of there. I moved back a month and a half ago and love it. I always felt like he forced me out, but to be honest, I let myself go.. he didn't really do anything.. sure the circumstances were bad timing.. that I just moved into a slightly pricier place AND he got with a woman I worked with.. (And I hated the job already!!) But I don't regret any of it. I got to spend time with my family and really grow to appreciate them. I learned how to get back in touch with that part of my brain I shut off having been so focused on him. Now, I'm in the city again.. no where near him, no sign of him, and I'm doing amazing. I got a job that pays well and is fun. I have a place that's cheaper than intended! Things work out for a reason and its just keeping your eyes open to all the good it is bringing. Best of Luck.
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