What is the real definition of "Friends with Benefits"?

[WildWildWest]

Can someone please tell me the definition for FWB? and all the rules that apply... I kno what it means to me but I wanna see if other ppl have the same idea as me.

[Billzebub]

Someone you know you can call for nsa sexual favors but don't necessarily run out on after finishing. Maybe you talk or go out sometimes, but it's not a relationship.

[Butterflying]

Someone you know you can call for nsa sexual favors but don't necessarily run out on after finishing. Maybe you talk or go out sometimes, but it's not a relationship.

I totally agree. This is the simplest, most accurate way to describe this type of arrangement. I'll add to it that the rules/boundaries should be established at the begining. For example, will you be talking and going out sometimes; or will it be strictly sex and nothing more?

 

It also helps if you do this with a decent person who doesn't lie or take advantage of you. I once had a FWB arrangement with a guy. We agreed to be friends and go out sometimes; but that never happened.

 

Nobody ever saw us together. We never talked on the phone. He never called or accepted my calls. I didn't even get to decide when we had sex. He was completely in control. He would send me a text message or email to tell me he wanted to f*ck. If I was available, we picked a time and place (his place or mine). It happened, and we went our seperate ways. No questions asked.

 

If the sex hadn't been so great, I never would have done this. But even with great sex, this situation got old and frustrating after a few months when I decided that I'd rather have more "friend" along with the benefits. This is not the ideal situation if you want to be emotionally stable and healthy.

[somedude81]

That situation made you sound more like a booty call than a FWB.

 

What's the difference between having a FWB with somebody and dating them?

[Butterflying]

That situation made you sound more like a booty call than a FWB.[/Quote]

LMAO:lmao: You're right. That's why I hated it.

What's the difference between having a FWB with somebody and dating them?

You get to date and have sex with other people too. You're not exclusive so anything goes!

[somedude81]

In there early stages of dating you're obviously not exclusive. So if your just dating someone and haven't technically become BF & GF it's the same thing as being FWB?

[legallyblonde289]

In there early stages of dating you're obviously not exclusive. So if your just dating someone and haven't technically become BF & GF it's the same thing as being FWB?

 

not really. in the early stages of dating you both might expect that eventually you will become official bf and gf even if it never happens. with FWB you dont have those expectations.

[DreamerGirl27]

I totally agree. This is the simplest, most accurate way to describe this type of arrangement. I'll add to it that the rules/boundaries should be established at the begining. For example, will you be talking and going out sometimes; or will it be strictly sex and nothing more?

 

It also helps if you do this with a decent person who doesn't lie or take advantage of you. I once had a FWB arrangement with a guy. We agreed to be friends and go out sometimes; but that never happened.

 

Nobody ever saw us together. We never talked on the phone. He never called or accepted my calls. I didn't even get to decide when we had sex. He was completely in control. He would send me a text message or email to tell me he wanted to f*ck. If I was available, we picked a time and place (his place or mine). It happened, and we went our seperate ways. No questions asked.

 

If the sex hadn't been so great, I never would have done this. But even with great sex, this situation got old and frustrating after a few months when I decided that I'd rather have more "friend" along with the benefits. This is not the ideal situation if you want to be emotionally stable and healthy.

 

My friend that I like, has told me he doesn't like me like that and constantly tells me stuff like "he needs to get laid" and "I want to have sex right now". He has never tried anything physical or insinuated he wants to have sex with me, though. But he does say stuff like that over text and IM. Could he be fishing for a FWB situation? In my opinion, I don't think he is, just because I have hung out with him and he has never tried ANYTHING...but if he is, I don't want that at all because I am really attached to him emotionally. That's all I need is to get attached to him physically as well...

[somedude81]

not really. in the early stages of dating you both might expect that eventually you will become official bf and gf even if it never happens. with FWB you dont have those expectations.

So how then does the "relationship" become either a dating thing or a FWB. Is it talked about beforehand, when?

[VelveteenBunny]

not really. in the early stages of dating you both might expect that eventually you will become official bf and gf even if it never happens. with FWB you dont have those expectations.

 

I agree, except, it's more than that. You don't really even like each other romantically. I had a FWB and I never loved him romantically, and never expected to. I seriously just considered him a friend, felt about him the way I would a friend, except that I was attracted to him. There was no romance in our relationship, nor romantic feelings. Just sex and friendship.

[legallyblonde289]

I agree, except, it's more than that. You don't really even like each other romantically. I had a FWB and I never loved him romantically, and never expected to. I seriously just considered him a friend, felt about him the way I would a friend, except that I was attracted to him. There was no romance in our relationship, nor romantic feelings. Just sex and friendship.

 

i agree with that, ideally thats what a FWB is no romantic feelings, i was just saying how early dating isnt FWB.

 

So how then does the "relationship" become either a dating thing or a FWB. Is it talked about beforehand, when?

 

when your status comes up. the guy (although it could be either gender) will say either he wants to be in an official relationship or he doesnt want a relationship. if he says he doesnt want a relationship and you keep seeing each other then thats pretty much FWB. and a real FWB is talked about, otherwise its just leading someone on, at least in my book and really should be discussed at the outset.

[somedude81]

Ah thanks, I'm starting to understand now. So that's "the talk" that I keep hearing about.

[Billzebub]

The "DTR" - "Define the Relationship" talk.

[Meaplus3]

A friend who want's S*X and nothing more.

 

Mea:)