freckles3131 Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Fell off the NC wagon due to one too many drinks while golfing yesterday. UGH. Sent a text asking him to meet me at my house tomorrow night for a booty call. I guess I felt like Superwoman after a few drinks and thought I could handle having a booty call with him. Not a good idea. Did some damage control today... Said, "I thought about it and a booty call can't work between 2 people who have a history together. I'm rescinding." Ok, back on the "wagon" Lesson to myself: When enjoying a few libations, give cell phone to friend for safe keeping. What a ding dong I am! Okay, moving on....
Art_Critic Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 I sent him a "Happy Birthday" text. We will have to run into each other at a wedding party next month. I wanted to take some of the "edge" off the animousity I want to be cordial and mature about things when this happens. I don't want him to think I am still pining away for him, quite the contrary. I'm at a place where I see his hand in the demise of our relationship and realize he did me a favor by ending it. I need to be with someone who is honest and forthright. When we broke up last time (for 2 years) we would still take each other out to lunch/dinner as friends even when we were seeing other people. We would still buy one another a gift. This time.....he got a simple text. (which I think sent a pretty strong message as we have not missed a birthday together in 10 years.) The message said: "Happy Birthday. I hope today brings you all the good things life has to offer and good things in the year to come" He didn't reply. I didn't expect him to. I think even though he is the one to end it, it was a difficult thing and painful for him to do.(He cried much more when we broke up than I even did....) So......knowing him as I do for 10 years, I think by me just sending a text and nothing more was definitely hard on him, but.....it will give me and HIM closure.....he now knows I am not going to be "there" for him as that friend, like before when we broke up. (and I don't expect him to be "there" for me again...as friends) We need to let each other go.... I will tell people that the advice to not send birthday wishes is good advice....esp if you have "hope" they will respond, or you still want them back. It would be a HUGE step backwords in your healing, so sending a birthday message is not for the faint of heart. You need to be at a certain point in your recovery before you can handle it. Let me remind you of this post the other day.. I highlighted the part that sticks out to me Yes you did expect him to call you.. This is why you did the drunk text thing.. Are you going to realize that you are in denial about being over him ? Please start NC and stop contacting him..
Ilovecake Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Alcohol is just a BS excuse to do what you know you shouldn't. How come you're sober enough to type a text message but not sober enough to stop yourself from typing it? It makes no sense.
Art_Critic Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 By the way.. what you did isn't a bad thing.. You just have to be able to recognize that you are still hurting over this breakup and in order to heal and move on the only way you will is NC.. Getting over someone can be tough and breakups suck.. but getting him back isn't in the cards and you really want to hold onto your self respect right now.. Your self esteem will get better and you will feel better as time goes on.. if you stop contacting him..
Author freckles3131 Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 Yes. I know it's messed up. One day I am all powerful and then the next my defenses are down. I know what I did was wrong. That is why I said "back on the wagon" And....it's only been a month that we broke up. I think if this was still going on at month 6, then it would be a bigger problem. 1 month and a 10 year relationship.....I am going to falter here and there. Again, Back on the preverbail wagon I go.
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