pollyanna22 Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 You said you were CO-workers, are you in the same building? how do you not see eachother everyday, my Spouse had to switch Jobs, I know it's easier said than done, but thats what had to be done.
Author Karma611 Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 You said you were CO-workers, are you in the same building? how do you not see eachother everyday, my Spouse had to switch Jobs, I know it's easier said than done, but thats what had to be done. we used to work same shift then i got promoted to night shift, i work in the warehouse shes in the office and she leaves when i come in. this happened a few months ago me moving to night shift, i very rarely see her in work anymore.
Author Karma611 Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 Dontcha just love the way a person's life is decided by a person with not an ounce of respect for them. And encouraged to continue the lying until the grave. REAL FAIR. i never said i didnt respect my wife.. we both have done things in our marriage to hurt eachother but i never lost repect for her sometimes in live things happen
Author Karma611 Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 Karma: Maybe what it will take for you 2 pull your head out of your nethers is for the OW 2 report you 2 the police and charge you with felony stalking. I'm not going 2 help you "fix" your affair. But if you want 2 know how 2 make amends with your wife, I'll respond. Think about it. -ol' 2long well stalking is a little to far, im not banging on her door or following her around, i called her a few times and texted her a few times, & ran into her 2x since we ended it. so i dont think the cops will be locking me up for stalking.
2long Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 not that it is right but my wife has had a affair on me about 2 years ago, i found out about it we decided to stay together for our kids because finacially we couldnt afford to seperate, But you can afford it now?? So you had an affair yourself. i by no means got into this relationship for revenge its just something that happened Affairs do NOT "just happen." i dont see the point of telling my wife either and creating a whole new problem i just need help letting go of this and moving on.. You wouldn't, would you. Let me tell you what you need 2 do in order 2 "let go of this and move on." Number A: You need 2 tell your wife about the affair. Number B: You need 2 have no further contact with the OW, for ANY REASON, for the rest of your life. That means that one of you has 2 quit your job. -ol' 2long
Author Karma611 Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 But you can afford it now?? So you had an affair yourself. Affairs do NOT "just happen." You wouldn't, would you. Let me tell you what you need 2 do in order 2 "let go of this and move on." Number A: You need 2 tell your wife about the affair. Number B: You need 2 have no further contact with the OW, for ANY REASON, for the rest of your life. That means that one of you has 2 quit your job. -ol' 2long Well, it seems from your tone that you think im a bad person well im not i have made mistakes and i will learn from them. im not fianacially secure now to leave either or else i would of. and believe it or not it did just happen did i know what i was getting into yes i did was it wrong if course it was. but why would i create a problem and tell my wife and create a new problem, and i dont see her in work anymore so leaving my job isnt good either.
pollyanna22 Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 It's not about "creating a problem" you already have one, you owe it to your wife to let her decide her fate. NObody deserves to be the one in the dark, whoever made up the Quote...'what they don't know , wont hurt them" never was betrayed!
2long Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Well, it seems from your tone that you think im a bad person well im not i have made mistakes and i will learn from them. I don't think you're a bad person. I don't think people who have affairs are bad, but their behavior is selfish and thoughtless. My wife had an affair, and I chose 2 stay with her. She's a good person who made a bad decision 2 cheat. im not fianacially secure now to leave either or else i would of. Why is complicating your life by having an affair a better choice than leaving if you're not happy? and believe it or not it did just happen did i know what i was getting into yes i did was it wrong if course it was. If you knew what you were getting in2 then it didn't "just happen." Cheating is a choice, not an accident. but why would i create a problem and tell my wife and create a new problem, The problem was created when you decided 2 cheat. Telling the truth alleviates harm, it does not cause it. Lying (by hiding the truth from your wife) will only cause more harm. and i dont see her in work anymore so leaving my job isnt good either. I hope you're right. But I think you're playing with fire. The chances of the affair restarting at some point will increase so long as you work at the same place and your wife is ignorant of it. -ol' 2long
bentnotbroken Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 i never said i didnt respect my wife.. we both have done things in our marriage to hurt eachother but i never lost repect for her sometimes in live things happen Your words and your actions seem to contradict each other.
Author Karma611 Posted May 29, 2010 Author Posted May 29, 2010 Your words and your actions seem to contradict each other. well i never said i was perfect, there are contradicting things everywhere take a look at the 10 commandments & the catholic church
bentnotbroken Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 well i never said i was perfect, there are contradicting things everywhere take a look at the 10 commandments & the catholic church Doesn't change your actions does it? Is that your way of living life? Someone else is doing something that is selfish and wrong so let me do it too...rich and mature. Perfection isn't real for anyone...pining for another man's wife while lying to your own has nothing to do with being perfect, but everything to do with respecting others.
Author Karma611 Posted May 29, 2010 Author Posted May 29, 2010 Doesn't change your actions does it? Is that your way of living life? Someone else is doing something that is selfish and wrong so let me do it too...rich and mature. Perfection isn't real for anyone...pining for another man's wife while lying to your own has nothing to do with being perfect, but everything to do with respecting others. she wasnt married... your talking i did it out of revenge and that wasnt the case. my wife cheated on me 2 years ago if i wanted revenge it would of been then i should have left yet i decided to stay but you know what it has never been the same and it doesnt justify my actions..i got involved with someone and grew feelings was it wrong yes, but that dosent mean that it still doesnt hurt..
IronMaiden Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 Your wife and you have essentially what is called an 'emotional divorce'. Emotionally you are not there for each other. And people are wired to find emotional support, so if you don't get it at home, 'the heart is a lonely hunter' and people will constantly be tempted to get this need filled by someone. If your wife has had an affair before you, did she ever say how she would feel if the tables were reversed on her? I have no idea, maybe she wouldn't care? Or maybe she would be hypocritically judgmental? Who knows - only you know that answer. I think you need to decide if your marriage is salvagable at all. By that I mean, not just living under the same roof, but being emotionally supportive of each other. If you can't do this, you will always be tempted to find this in other places.
stillafool Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 Well, it seems from your tone that you think im a bad person well im not i have made mistakes and i will learn from them. im not fianacially secure now to leave either or else i would of. and believe it or not it did just happen did i know what i was getting into yes i did was it wrong if course it was. but why would i create a problem and tell my wife and create a new problem, and i dont see her in work anymore so leaving my job isnt good either. So what do you plan to do? Just stay in a marriage for the rest of your life that you do not want and it sounds like your wife doesn't want it either? Can you afford to live the rest of your lives this way? If you are truly not happy and in love with another woman, grow up and tell your wife the truth. Move out and work 3 jobs if you have to in order to find happiness.
bentnotbroken Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 she wasnt married... your talking i did it out of revenge and that wasnt the case. my wife cheated on me 2 years ago if i wanted revenge it would of been then i should have left yet i decided to stay but you know what it has never been the same and it doesnt justify my actions..i got involved with someone and grew feelings was it wrong yes, but that dosent mean that it still doesnt hurt.. Actually revenge never crossed my mind. We should hurt when we do something that causes others pain.
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