pinkie_fille Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 My bf has just told me that he has a crush on a girl he met on the train. He meets her every morning. It has been 2 months. He said he still loves me. But he can't control his crush feeling. I am worried now.
counterman Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Yes, I have, but have never acted on it. In saying that, knowing the way my ex-girlfriend treated me, maybe I should have broken up with her and gone out with the other girls. My ex-girlfriend had a crush on one of my former friends, but never admitted to it. Take a guess who she is with now.
Krytie TV Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 You should be worried. Any douche who would say that to his girlfriend is obviously an emotional cripple.
shunter Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 It is perfectly normal to have a crush! The grass always seems greener on the other side. What is not normal is telling you about it. The guy is a douche bag and you should leave him.
make me believe Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 It's normal to get small crushes on other people when you're in a long term relationship, but it's definitely not something you should tell your partner about! What do you mean that he "meets her" every morning? Do you mean that they talk and are 'friends' with each other? If he has a crush on her, he really should be minimizing his contact with her as much as possible, for your sake.
Ilovehim Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 It's sad that everyone is saying "it's normal" to have crushes on other people while you are with someone. That sh** is hurtful. I would hate t if my boyfriend saw a girl everyday on the train and had a crush on her AND had the nerve to tell me "I can't control it". (Gotta appreciate his honesty though). However, I would LEAVE HIM in a heartbeat. In my eyes that is hurtful and disrespectful. I used to have crushes on other people when I was with my ex and let me just say one thing. While you're in a relationship and have someone who loves you, you feel that these crushes are bigger than what they actually are (in some cases they might be but with me they were just stupid crushes). However once my ex left me, I felt heartbroken and wanted to slap myself for even having crushes on people who didnt matter. They were like tostitos in a restaurant, while he was the main meal. Without the main meal, they aint ****. It's like the saying goes.."Don't lose a diamond while collecting stones." This is just my experience though & I don't thinkyou should tolerate that.
Ilovehim Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Also I wanted to add that I wasnt 100% satisfied with my ex, that is why I had crushes on other people. It was the feeling of "butterflies" with them. This is not to say your boyfriend is not satisfied with you, but that was my case. With my boyfriend now, I feel happy & fulfilled, I honestly could care less if a smoking, hot guy with a great personality walked into my life, it wouldn't even move me because I care for and respect my boyfriend. I only have room for one special person in my heart. What happened to respecting relationships? Those "crushes" can go further if you keep talking to the person & seeing them. It's normal to find someone "pretty" or "cute" but to me having a crush on someone goes further than that.
craw Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 hmm just my 2cents, i think it is a bit odd. maybe us women are wired differently? why would he even be looking at another chick? need some male insight here.
harmfulsweetz Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Yeah, I have. I ended the relationship in quick succession. Having said that, I do think after an extended period of time, it's normal to get crushes on other people. It's normal to fantasize about others, and such, we are wired so. I'm not entirely sure humans were made to be monogamous, which is why I think our minds do wander, our eyes do stray. However, he should NOT have told you this, is he dense? Sorry, but that's just totally disrespectful and tactless. You can have crushes, but you do not have to tell your partner about them. I don't suppose that having a crush on someone is a sign you aren't satisfied, but more to the point of, we can't help ourselves, we'll always wonder what the other side is like, even if we have the most wonderful, gorgeous partner already.
MyNameIsJane Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 It is normal to have "crushes" on people while you are taken... just like it is normal to find someone attractive even though you are in a relationship. It isn't normal that he told you that. Makes me think he wants some kind of reaction from you... or that he is just stupid. It also makes me think it is more serious of a crush than a simple crush on the mailman or something.
Author pinkie_fille Posted May 29, 2010 Author Posted May 29, 2010 He told me this because he always tells me everything about his daily life. He told me he will never date her because he loves me. He said he can have this feeling for another beautiful and attrative girls and it's not important and interesting. But I think he is stupid to tell me about his crush. We had a fight yesterday. sigh P.S. We have long distance relationship but we keep in touch everday on Skype.
summerl0vesyou Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 one time, yes..I had a huge crush on a guy friend of mine while I was having rship problems with my ex. I was unhappy and we would breakup/get back together a lot.. and i ended up acting on it a little, one night while we were "broken up", I went to a party with the guy and ended up making out with him. Then my ex spent the night and we got back together. Hmm,. Ok so....I would be concerned. these are feelings were talking about..its emotional cheating to me...and honestly worse than physical cheating. I probably wouldnt want to be with this guy anymore, that would be so painful for me...everyone has a different opinion though, and Ive been there on the opposite end so I know how it is...this guy must not be completely satisfied though, if he likes her enough to bring it up....thats a concern..
Eeyore79 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 When I've had a crush on someone else, I'm usually dissatisfied with my current partner and looking to trade up. When I'm truly happy with my partner, I don't really look at anyone else. Sure, there might be a passing attraction to someone, but it's not uncontrollable (as your bf indicated his crush is). I would certainly never tell him if I found someone else attractive - what would be the point of upsetting him when I don't intend to act on it?
Serenitynow Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 Why cant I find girls like this that stay with me no matter how much of an assjack I am ? Where do these women come from and how do I meet them ?
Ilovehim Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Why cant I find girls like this that stay with me no matter how much of an assjack I am ? Where do these women come from and how do I meet them ? Because if you found a girl that would stay with you no matter how much of a jackass you are to her, you wouldn't respect her and most likely the attraction would fade..From my experience, guys like a woman who can stand her ground and who won't tolerate too much BS.
Serenitynow Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I was being sarcastic. Because thats all I ever read/see/hear from women, is their stupid stories about dumbass guys they are dating, but dont want to leave the guy. So obviously I need to learn to be an idiot to get a girl.
Brady_to_Moss Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 I did..i always did. Most girls i know in relationships have crushes on others
Recommended Posts