summerl0vesyou Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Wasnt really sure what to title this but Im in an interesting situation. I hung out with a new guy i met on a dating website 3 times, and we had been really feeling each other and whatever (we both feel like we 'like' each other) we know we dont know each other well but we decided to not see other people, since we decided that we wanted it to go somewhere with us. So ok...we agreed to be exclusive basically, but not bf-gf. However I noticed him still logging in to his page, and it wasnt to look at mine. hes told me that hes looking for friends, and has met other girls from there. he said the only reason he isnt just my friend is because the attraction was there, and it isnt with these girls. However I feel like if hes still meeting "friends" on a dating website, i should be allowed to do whatever i want, see other guys, etc. If hes putting himself out there to potentially like/be liked, especially because he IS meeting them on a dating website, then I should be able to, too! I tried talking to him to make us not exclusive anymore the 4th time i saw him, but it didnt really work..i made suggestions and he said I can do whatever will make me happy, but he wanted it to be the way it was...like I suggested just being friends for now, but he just said its all up to me. Help?
Author summerl0vesyou Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 anyone? i really am not sure what to do or think...if someone is still on the website, its weird to expect just friends..
PrettyinInk Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 it sounds like he is really indifferent. don't be exclusive with him, do what you want, see who you want. don't waste time with someone who does not value you, and don't overanalyize the situation cheers!
Author summerl0vesyou Posted May 29, 2010 Author Posted May 29, 2010 well we already agreed to be exclusive, and Im not sure how to make us go back to being non exclusive without either hurting his feelings or messing up what we do have. which is barely anything, really.
brainygirl Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 I wouldn't accept exclusive without him being boyfriend to my girlfriend. That's just because if you want a long term relationship, that's what you need to accept and nothing else. It sounds like he's aiming for friends with benefits. fwbs isn't terrible. You have someone to have sex with whose company you enjoy. your time is still your own and you owe him nothing as far as time, attention or loyalty. But its not a relationship. You can't call up a fwb when you've had a bad day at work, the car's acting funny and the toilet is clogged. You probably won't be invited to family events and b-days. If you want to be dating him, tell him thats what you want. If you don't want what ever arrangement he's wanting, then get out. There are other fish.
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