somedude81 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 The only time I'd ever pay is for maybe the first 1-2 dates, just so the chick actually knows it's a date. Either way I'm not going to spend more than $20 which would cover the both of us. If I'm in a relationship with somebody, I'd expect to go 50/50 every time or we alternate who pays. I won't tolerate somebody who expects me to pay for everything. Who does she think I am? Her daddy?
NickelbackFan Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I can honestly say that in my 32 years on this earth I only let one girlfriend pay for dinner, thats because she slipped the credit card to the waiter when i wasnt looking. I always pay, Im into chivarly.
BS76 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I found this to be a good read on the topic at hand: At the end of the day, if you want full equality between the sexes but want to retain some differences between yourself and your partner, then you can have the experience of chivalry to the extent that you are ready to accept those differences. However, if you want a gender equality that is based on gender sameness, then chivalry is out of the picture. Any young feminist who disagrees, is trying to have her cookie and eat it too.It's that last part in bold I take issue with, which sadly I see all too frequently these days. Chalk it up to the "Me Me Me generation" which is chock full of women with a chip on their shoulder and heavy dose of entitlement mentality.
DreamerGirl27 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 I'm gonna come right out and say it...I don't want a career. I enjoy being a girl and I'd prefer to stay home. Unless I someday wake up and I can have my dream job, which is to be a professional musician (yes, I mean rock star), so you tell me how realistic and possible that goal is and whether or not I'll ever achieve it...answer is probably no. The only other thing I have ever wanted to do is grow up, get married and take care of a family. I AM that docile, domestic girl who wants to be just that. Always have been. I enjoy going to school...I DON'T enjoy going to work. I also appreciate chivalry and think it's worse to have equality if that means you are going to cut out chivalry. I am very much into gender roles and very much appreciate a guy who is willing to be the "provider". It shows me he cares and wants to take care of me. I have no problem with that, because I in turn, take care of him in other ways. Most of the time, unless I am out with just a friend, I don't even offer to pay, I literally do just expect the guy to pay if I am on a date. This doesn't mean I WON'T pay...it just means I don't want to offer because I don't want to insult him. My dad is an extremely chivalrous, Christian guy, who got offended when my mom wanted to wash her own car. He thinks that's a guy's job. He's been washing both mine AND my mom's car since I've had my car, and longer for my mom. He carries our bags for us when we go shopping with him...he's just a really good guy. The only thing I don't like is when the situation is platonic and a guy offers to pay. There are two scenarios to this. 1) I am not interested in him/he is interested in me, therefore I will insist on paying for myself or 2) He is not interested in me/I am interested in him and he offers to pay anyway. I have had both those things happen and it just confuses the living daylights out of me. (The 2nd) I fee like, if a guy is wanting to show that he is the "provider" and wants to "take care of me" but paying...why would he want to do that with a girl he sees as only a "friend" and nothing more? Anyway, getting off topic a bit. I love a chivalrous man. They are sexy. lol
FitChick Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 All of my boyfriends made much more money than I do so they had no problem paying and I had no problem accepting. I always thanked them verbally because men don't feel appreciated these days. I also thanked them in other ways, doing thoughtful things for them, massages, special sex, cooking their favorite foods. I don't do "dollar for dollar" dating. I think the average man would feel emasculated.
bananaboat11 Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 As independent as my girlfriend is.. I think she EXPECTS me to pay 7/10 times. When she chimes in "I've got this" or "It's ok babe, all me"... I say thanks, kiss her and back down. But as often as that occurs... when we're out... and it's time to pay... I am usually the one who pays. Not a male ego thing either. Trust me. My family is well off... her family is wealthy. I'm a broke graduate student... she's a post-bacc student in a non-degree seeking grad program (ie .. pre-grad school) she > money than me I don't know how I manage...
Chicago_Guy Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Personally I think that women paying their fair share, pursuing men, etc. is refreshing and in line with the times. Chivalry is benevolent sexism when it comes right down to it and I don't ascribe to the idea women are dainty weaklings that can't do anything for themselves. Equality, true equality, is incompatible with special treatment, although most guys are oblivious to it because of how they were raised. If by "manly" you mean domineering, ego stroking, and possessive then I agree. Doting on women for no other reason than their gender is by definition a form of sexism. Couldn't agree more. And that entitlement mentality is really pervasive these days too. I hate it because it automatically disqualifies the woman from LTR material in my book. In my own experience, the sense of entitlement is even worse among women whom I have dated who make the most money. I don't understand why that is because those are the ones usually complaining that men are intimidated by their intelligence. However, when they find a guy who does like them, they try to take advantage of him.
Woggle Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Part of it is male ego but much of it is because women expect it. I also agree with those who say it is worst amongst so called independent and self sufficiant women. A waitress is more likely to chip in her fair share than a lawyer or an executive is. I guess they have a need to feel feminine after being the alpha all day.
Engadget Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 It's instilled in men to be the breadwinner, but that's changing nowadays.
Els Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 Some of you guys are going wildly off-topic. This post is hardly about women who require a man to pay, women who make more than a man but want a man to pay, women who want a sugar daddy, etc. The OP stated that her bf insists on paying and refuses her offers, and is wondering what people think about the justification of that being a part of male ego. Unless you're implying that she should get all huffy when he insists and accuse him of violating her wymyn's rights?
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