Kristine Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Okay I've met a guy on-line whose of a different race but my family doesn't approve of him because of that fact. They don't know his a Citizen but is an African Cuban. I'm also attracted to foreigners and they to me it seems. He seems like a nice guy, we haven't met in person yet but are making plans for a 1st date. He has a lot of pluses one being he's Catholic I'm Catholic, he has a graduate degree, that's impressive and well I'm not sure what to do. Do I go with this guy even though family disapproves just to see where things go and hope they come around? Do other people have this problem? It seems all I get are foreigners but that's not true it just so happens those are the ones I find reasonable attractive or holding qualities I'm interested in.
legallyblonde289 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 if your family had valid reasons for their disapproval, i'd say consider listening to them. but prejudice is not a valid reason, i'd say go for it.
You'reasian Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Can't hurt to go on a date. If it becomes something more than just dating, time to start thinking about how you will present this to your parents. best of luck.
MrNate Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 If your family disapproves solely because of his race, then go out with him anyway. To me, judging a person by color is pointless. On a side note: Being a minority in America, personally, I've always been a fain of the snowbunnies.
Green Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Personaly I couldn't care less about what anybody but me thinks about stuff. My family and friends see the world one way but I choose to work the job, live the life, and date the girls I want to.
alphamale Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Do I go with this guy even though family disapproves just to see where things go and hope they come around? i think you should go out with him kristine
brainygirl Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 If you like him, go out with him and see what happens. Your family wont be the ones marrying your future spouse, you will, don't let them choose for you.
crimsonmike Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 To get out of the pie in the sky idealism, there will be issues. You better be sure he is worth it. What part of the country you live in makes a difference too. Down here in the southeast, it can be a real crutch. Just being honest. You would be judged down here. Many men down here will not date women they find out have dated outside their race. That said, if he is that great, piss on everybody else. Do what makes you happy.
flc Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 (edited) If you like him go out with him but as others have said recognize what you are getting into. Relationships are hard enough and you are adding another item into the mix. Your family, his family and your friends will view the relationship differently than if you were the same race. Also is his primary language Spanish? If so do your speak Spanish? If not you will be in situations where everyone is speaking Spanish and you have no idea what they are saying, maybe for an entire dinner party you will be on the outside, are you comfortable with that? I am currently in a relationship with a Peruvian women. I speak a little Spanish, she is fluent in English but misses a lot of the nuances. I am always her gringo BF in her world, and it does at add additional challenges to the relationship. Edited May 28, 2010 by flc
gypsy_nicky Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 OP, realize that even though western culture has very much improved anti-racism, racism is still very much rampant. It is not in your face (as it was before) but more in the subtleties of western culture. You will bear the brunt of your 'taboo' relationship because your a caucasian woman (the men are far less condemned). But if you can handle that, all the best. Crimsonmike makes a good point.
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