confusedgj Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Hi, I apologize if this is unorganized and long I did my best to keep it easy to follow. So my ex gf broke up with me 3 months ago and I have been on No contact since. The breakup devastated me as we had known one another for 5 years and dated for 1.5 years. She basically gave me cliche reasons on why she is breaking up with me. She said all the text book stuff like "i love you but i'm not in love with out" and stuff like that. So that week i jus tried to figure out what exactly was the reason so our breakup lasted like a week as i thought it was something that could have been worked out. So she wanted to talk and requested we do it in person but I could not so she proceeded to dump me over the phone (oh well). So the rest of the week we were still talking trying to solve this issue and her still being vague on why she breaking it off. She was always talking about marriage and kids and how much she loved me and stuff so none of her reasons for breaking it off were making sense. Regardless at the end of it, she basically could not give a valid reason for breaking it off to herself or me. At one point she said I don't love you any more and I asked then why did you want to marry me to which she replied because I love you. I mean it was like talking to a riddle. From that last day of talking (Feb12, ye i knwo jus happened to be before v day...lol.) she wanted to remain friends, i said i don't think I could remain friends as I couldn't trust her and asked her to respect that she not contact me and if/when i am ready i will contact her and perhaps get back to being friends (it was a bit harsh but i was heartbroken). Well a few days after I knew she had a big test she was studying for so I FB msg'd her sayin good luck, and she replied thanx. A few days later on the 17th i saw her online so I decided to msg her and ask how things went with the test. The convo was awkward and she was distant so from this day I decided to go into No contact. I guess this was my way of letting her know that I was open to talking again and being friends (perhaps she really wasn't and just said it as one of her cliche responses). It had only been a week after the breakup and I was much cooler and composed at this point. So I started no contact. From Feb 17 to Today I had not talked to her I have accepted that she and I are over and am recovering well. Yesterday I found out her Grandfather passed away (i had met him a few times) and then today I sent her an email to that effect. If I didn't know about it I wouldn't have sent anything. However I have lost someone close to me in the past and I know even the smallest words of sympathy can help the healing process. I thought all day and night about whether i should break no contact for this. At the end the only reason I did it was because of religious reasons. The email was only about her grandfather and me expressing my sympathies to her and her family. Along with it was a poem which helped me when my loved one passed. I did not ask what she was up to or anything personal like what she was doing or how school or stuff was going. She replied back and said she really appreciated the email and was happy to hear she was still in my thoughts and told me how her grandfather passed unexpectedly. Her last block of text was asking me how I am doing and such. Then she signed it off with "Hope to hear from you and how your doing". The question is do i need to respond back or can I go back into NC . The worst that could happen is she will think i'm busy and try to email me again or txt me. Im not the type of person not to reply back when someone asks me a question but then I think sometime saying nothing is better than anything at all. I know she's wondering what I'm up to but it's really none of her business. Thanx again any advice is appreciated
mark982 Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 just leave it be. you sent her the letter to tell her you're sorry for her loss, nothing else needs to be done.
whichwayisup Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Don't write back. You gave your sympathies, that was the reason why you wrote her in the first place. Go back into NC mode. She isn't in your life anymore.. Any contact now could do more damage to you.
Author confusedgj Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 Thanx ppl. What do I do if she sends another email asking if I got the previous one or if she calls me? Like I said I've just never been the type not return communication to anyone be it a friend or acquaintance, just wasn't brought up that way. I know she's not in my life anymore but I've never been the rude type so this is very strange for me. I guess I should just not reply and just play dead...lol. Man it is tough, it's like my mind and heart are at war with one another. Very unsettling. Even as i read this post i'm all over the place. Thas it, no replying, back to no contact before she starts being more personal. I'm sure she just asked those questions to be politically correct rather than actually caring.
nowomanocry Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Thanx ppl. What do I do if she sends another email asking if I got the previous one or if she calls me? Like I said I've just never been the type not return communication to anyone be it a friend or acquaintance, just wasn't brought up that way. I know she's not in my life anymore but I've never been the rude type so this is very strange for me. I guess I should just not reply and just play dead...lol. Man it is tough, it's like my mind and heart are at war with one another. Very unsettling. Even as i read this post i'm all over the place. Thas it, no replying, back to no contact before she starts being more personal. I'm sure she just asked those questions to be politically correct rather than actually caring. From what you wrote up there doesn't seem like she is after you mate. I think you are in a self-deception. Don't think she'll contact you again or even if she does it will be to see how you are doing. Don't overthink when comes to women. Just accept them as they are. Don 't waste your time and money. Move on.
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