little contact or no contact

[yellow]

Hello all!

 

So.. we broke it off about 2 months ago. Dated for about 6 months.. really enjoyed eachother but always had issues because we got involved too soon after him and his ex broke up. We both realized we jumped too soon and took responsibility for rushing things. He is going through a bit of a crisis in his life and head. I on the other have few issues and am pretty content with my life. He says im too good for him and said that he didnt see an immediate future with us right now but wants to get his life in order first and then see where things could go.

 

So.. its been two months since we have seen eachother.. we tried the "friends" thing, but he makes it too hard. He said he wanted to meet for lunch and then flaked everytime. So I back off and then he will text and make stabbing comments that I don't care about him anymore..and everytime i re-assure him i do. I have kept my composure about things and tried to play it cool up until 2 weeks when i finally told him i was having a hard time with it all and that i needed to heal. He told me he had moved on and i needed to also. strange because, just 3 weeks prior to that he was telling me that he missed me more than I knew and that he had so much love for me. I was out of town when we talked last.. i told him i needed little to no contact with him in order to heal.. been two weeks and now he is now texting me again, wanting to know if im back in town yet. I just dont get it.

 

I wish things could work out.. but only if he had his life in order. Im very sad over all of this. I would love for him to get his life together and try again.. thing is he may never. SO....what do i do? I did not respond to his text. I really dont know what he wants from me though. If he is serious about us I want him to realize what he is missing. SO.. I will do NC, but what do i do if he text or calls?? Do i just completley ignore him unless he keeps pushing and wants to reconcile? Im just a bit confused as to how to go about it all.

Edited May 27, 2010 by yellow

[GrayClouds]

Understand what he is doing is keeping you on the hook while he is fishing for another. Read the following and go complete NC unless he shows up on his hands and knees with tears in his eyes begging. Anything less is jsut playing with you and you deserve better. Read the following for more guidance:

 

The No Contact Guide

So you want a second chance?

 

Good luck

[TaraMaiden]

Yellow, I'm sorry, the guy is playing you like a fish.

Please take heed of my good friend GrayClouds. He is absolutely spot-on and this guy is toying you.

He's picking at you like a scab, and not letting you heal, at all....

His behaviour is unacceptable.

Tell him point-blank:

"The only time and reason you contact me ever again, is to tell me that you absolutely really totally want to be with me NOW - 100% and you'll do whatever it takes to make this completely work.

As will I.

Otherwise, if you can't do this - NOW - then consider this little game well and truly Over.

I'll be moving on, getting on with my life and enjoying every minute. I suggest you do the same."

 

Then go no contact, and only respond if he actually does come back with the above.

But remember - actions speak louder than words.... He can 'say' all he likes.

It's what he does, that counts.

 

And what he's doing now, is playing you just like a yo-yo-fish.....

[yellow]

GrayClouds and TaraMaiden-

 

Thank you so much for the responses. What you said confirms my decision.

Yes, I miss him and yes, i want to be with him but only if he truly means it.. just like you said. He confuses me way too much with his little text messages.. here and there, and i feel like im hanging on a string of hope.

 

You are right, actions do speak louder than words and I would ONLY want

him back if he was making the effort to the MAX.

 

I will continue to ignore his texting...I have a feeling though he is going to start getting mad by me not responding..but thats his deal.

 

Eventually once I heal and If I see that things will never change between us.. then maybe we can have a friendship but as for now, a friendship is not what im looking for especially someone i have deep feelings for. AND I think its comforting for him to know Im still in his life even if its just a little text here and there.. and thats not okay with me...I want all or nothing.

 

Thanks again!!

[sedgwick]

And what he's doing now, is playing you just like a yo-yo-fish.....

 

Ha ha ha...what's a yo-yo fish??