KingCrimson Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Met this girl online two weeks ago, had two successful dates already. Kissed at least a few times on 2nd date. We also chat on gchat/text every now and then. We're set to meet up again on Friday to get dinner and some drinks. But here are two problems: - she has to leave later to go see that new Sex and the City movie with her friends - We're both grad students. Classes recently ended, so she's flying back home to visit her parents for 3 weeks or a month. She's coming back last week of June. So Friday's her last night in town. Neither of us have been to each others place. How should I invite her? Tomorrow would be the last time I'd see her until the end of June. Her having to leave later (around 10 I think) puts a wrench in my plans of inviting her back after we eat and drink. How do I bring it up? Tell her, "Hey, if you're not tired after the movie, let's meet up. I might be at [blah blah] bar or chilling at home with my friends."? Or just be direct and ask her "You're more than welcome to spend the night" or "You should spend the night over tonight after your movie"? No, I'm not expecting to have sex or anything. I'd just like to solidify our relationship(I definitely am interested in continuiung to date her and she has said so too for when she returns) and take it to the next level before she leaves for back home. Kind of seal the deal by at least having her spend the night over and see my place. any ideas?
samspade Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Having sex will solidify the relationship and take it to the next level. She's got a movie date with her friends later? Postpone your date with her. It's silly to have a date with that kind of time limit hanging over your head. Third date, you should be escalating intimacy, and you don't want to do that under the gun. Plus, if she wanted to be with you, why would she schedule a movie with friends the same night? If I were you, I'd postpone. It will get her attention, and you can plan something better when she gets back in late June.
Author KingCrimson Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 Because our date #2 was on Monday. We made plans to see each other once before she leaves, right then and there after we'd kissed a few times. I was busy Tuesday and Wed, and she had said she was busy originally Friday. So we'd scheduled for Thursday. But she gchat'd me today morning and asked to reschedule to Friday since she is busy Thurs night now. And after we agreed to Friday she mentioned she has this movie to see later with her friends (I guess sex and the city is a big deal in girl world). So, it was her idea to reschedule to Friday. And she will be gone for a while... I want to stay fresh in her mind and do something more intimate before she leaves
marsle85 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I'm posting to just reassure you that Sex in the City IS a big deal with girl friends, especially if she's leaving for a while... her story CHECKS. I just DL'd the first movie so I could watch them continuously. Big deal. :) I don't blame you for wanting to see her before she leaves, but if you've only kissed a few times on your second date... and this will be your third meeting, are you sure she'd be comfortable even sleeping over/having sex? If she is, that's great, but I'm just wanting to make sure that you're not consequentially rushing things because you're bummed she's leaving. 3 months is a long time, especially for people who have only hung out 2 times, and started talking two weeks ago. It's my personal opinion that sex will only complicate your new relationship. Sex may make either of you feel obligated to contact, visit, etc. over the break- and in general, take the ease and novelty out of the relationship. I think you should take her out for a nice, nice goodbye dinner- leave her something sweet to think about and miss... at this stage of the relationship with regard to the conditions present, I'm not sure staying over is the way to go. Goodluck regardless!
IfWishesWereHorses Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Finishing up exams and preparing to leave and wanting to spend down time with all of her friends makes complete sense to me. You know King Crimson, its rare to just pick up where you left off a month ago. Why not save something for when she gets back. No one wants to solidify a R after just 3 dates. Have an enjoyable evening with her so that she remembers your date fondly. I would add no extra stressors, especially if you don't know how she might respond.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I'm posting to just reassure you that Sex in the City IS a big deal with girl friends, especially if she's leaving for a while... her story CHECKS. I'm a middle-aged woman who will be seeing it with her girlfriends after dinner and drinks! I agree. Perfectly normal!
rewe4reel Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 OP, you've got it all wrong. The Sex and the City thing is just a "bail out" plan so she can eject from the date with you if things aren't going so well. She definitely wants to spend the night with you but is giving herself a way out if you aren't alpha enough or you do something weird. What she is really hoping is that you'll be bringing your "A" game for a Friday nite super-date. If things are going very well with you she'll skip the movie, she'll just txt her friends to cancel, and extend with you. If you're a chump she can eject without making it seem like she's dissing you because the movie is "preplanned."
Green Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Yes girls all over the place are going on gay outings to see it.... Sex in the city couldn't be any more of a misleading title... sounds like something men would like... WRONG I usualy invite girls back to my place using some excuse and then yes it leads to sex! Just be like... I wan't you to listen to some music back at my place.... Or I really want to show you this painting I made... ect.... The cooler the thing back at your place is the better...
alphamale Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 No, I'm not expecting to have sex or anything. yes you are. either way its too early...you'll look like a bOOb begging for sex just before she splits for a month. if you like her you can wait. just spank the monkey a lot while shes gone.
marsle85 Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 OP, you've got it all wrong. The Sex and the City thing is just a "bail out" plan so she can eject from the date with you if things aren't going so well. She definitely wants to spend the night with you but is giving herself a way out if you aren't alpha enough or you do something weird. Disagree. No guy could get me to miss SITC with my girls. Nooo guy. CANNOT WAIITTT:love::love::love::love::bunny::bunny:
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