Arasae Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Hey all, so last night I finally, FINALLY got to make out with my crush from work, and it was glorious. He told me this morning that he'd talk to me and see me again soon; this is pretty awesome, I think he's a cool guy, but there's only one problem... He smokes. A lot. Not cigarettes, but weed. I'm very anti-drugs, while at the same time, maintaining that some (weed) should be legal. It sucks and is kind of a conundrum for me. I don't know if I should just let it go, try to "change" that (HAHAHAHAHA, right--the only time a woman should think she can change a man is if he's in diapers), or hang out knowing it'll never go anywhere. Thoughts? Would you ever give up weed for someone? Have you ever dated someone who smoked/drank more than you were comfortable with? Should I not even try to hang out with him? I just don't know!
2sure Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Your only real option here if you want to keep him is to start smoking alot of weed yourself. See that happening?
donnamaybe Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I don't see a problem with a LITTLE weed but a lot makes a person lackadaisical - lazy - inattentive to responsibilities. AND it gets expensive when you smoke a lot of it.
DollWelch Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Have you asked him whether or not he intends on quitting some time in the future, Arasae? Think about it. Do you see yourself with this man in the future? This may or may not require some soul searching -or at least knowing what your heart commands. I highly doubt a relationship with this man would give butterflies for years to come, eventually this weed smoking thing will get in the way.
Ihavenoidea Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Weed regardless of personal opinions is Illegal, period. There are 6 billion other people on the planet to choose from.
crimsonmike Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Long term, he'll never hold a meaningful job (unless he's self employed) as long as he smokes. If you are both young, I wouldn't worry about it too much now. I used to do some dumb sht too.
donnamaybe Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Long term, he'll never hold a meaningful job (unless he's self employed) as long as he smokes. This isn't necessarily true, but it IS true if he continues to smoke it A LOT like she stated in her opening post. I know people who smoke who are regional managers in very high positions with lots of responsibility. And they are some of the best they have. They, however, don't smoke "a lot."
Rorschach Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 It's a deal killer for me, I might not have a problem if somebody smokes pot once in a blue moon (I mean less than once every two weeks or so and NEVER around me) but I don't like being around it and if anybody did it 'a lot' it'd be over.
malala7 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Hey all, so last night I finally, FINALLY got to make out with my crush from work, and it was glorious. He told me this morning that he'd talk to me and see me again soon; this is pretty awesome, I think he's a cool guy, but there's only one problem... He smokes. A lot. Not cigarettes, but weed. I'm very anti-drugs, while at the same time, maintaining that some (weed) should be legal. It sucks and is kind of a conundrum for me. I don't know if I should just let it go, try to "change" that (HAHAHAHAHA, right--the only time a woman should think she can change a man is if he's in diapers), or hang out knowing it'll never go anywhere. Thoughts? Would you ever give up weed for someone? Have you ever dated someone who smoked/drank more than you were comfortable with? Should I not even try to hang out with him? I just don't know! Hmmm, if he can't have fun if he is not high then it can be a huge problem. How much does he smoke? If he smokes once a day at the end of the day I'll say is fine, but if he tries to 'function', work and spends all day stoned then stay away because you are going to be attached to an addict and it becomes an issue for you.
malala7 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Long term, he'll never hold a meaningful job (unless he's self employed) as long as he smokes. If you are both young, I wouldn't worry about it too much now. I used to do some dumb sht too. Oh please, I know young professionals with government jobs who smoke often.
GrayClouds Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Ya sacrificing your beliefs for a guy always work of well.... You know the answer to your own question. Your just here hoping someone can rationalize you doing what you know you shouldn't.
Ihavenoidea Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Oh please, I know young professionals with government jobs who smoke often. this is quite curious
Ruby Slippers Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 I have some stoner friends, and I partake on occasion myself. I don't do it too often because for me, too much dulls my motivation. Some of my heavy user friends function fine with their habit, earning good salaries, being motivated and responsible, etc. Others are more passive and lazy. The first question is are you OK with a heavy user partner if he falls into the first category? If yes, OK. Then you just need to find out which category he falls into. It is very unlikely he will admit to being in the second category, so you will have to use your powers of deduction to find this out.
brainygirl Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 The way I see it, pot is illegal. Those who purchase it and keep it in their homes are taking an extreme risk. For me, a single mom, I am not willing to entertain that risk in my life. This is aside from the fact that it can have health and cognition affects on people who use constantly and heavily.
alphamale Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Would you ever give up weed for someone? if i smoked it - no, i wouldn't give it up
Woggle Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 It is up to you but I fail to see how it is any worse than having a glass of wine or a beer. I also would not give up weed for a woman.
carhill Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 OP, how much is 'a lot'? Does it matter to you if mary-jane is illegal in your jurisdiction? Is he a LTR prospect and do you imagine yourself having children in the future? Does his/your employer random drug test? Personally, I'd be cautious. I'd say the same thing if he drank a six-pack a day (of beer) or similar.
kiss_andmakeup Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 this is quite curious It is quite true. I have a good friend who is a broker for a financial institution...your typical white-collar executive. Very professional and successful. He smokes a bowl every night. ;] I'm not sure what you do, but I'd be willing to wager that there are people you'd never guess smoke weed, that do. I agree with the majority of the posters who said if it's truly A LOT it could be a problem. It's also a problem if you have a personal problem with it. While I personally think that, while used responsibly, weed is harmless, I also completely understand that there are people who aren't okay with it. As for the predictions that it will make him lazy or a bad partner, this is not necessarily true. I smoke a little weed most nights right before bed...it relaxes my nerves and helps me sleep. And I am one of the LEAST lazy people you will ever meet. I work out 6 days a week, have a 40-hour-a-week career, and volunteer for an animal shelter 2 days a week. Lazy? I don't think so. Not sure where you live, but I live in Michigan where marijuana is legalized for medicinal use, and I have a prescription for it (though I will admit that I smoked before it was legal too). Is this the case with this guy? So, it depends on the person, your beliefs, and how much he smokes. Don't go into it wanting to change him though...I think you already know that is a BAD idea!
malala7 Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 this is quite curious I tell you from experience. I have met government employees who smoke on a regular baisis. Weed is illegal but it's very common. Not all smokers are potheads, gangsters or losers.
malala7 Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 It is quite true. I have a good friend who is a broker for a financial institution...your typical white-collar executive. Very professional and successful. He smokes a bowl every night. ;] I'm not sure what you do, but I'd be willing to wager that there are people you'd never guess smoke weed, that do. I agree with the majority of the posters who said if it's truly A LOT it could be a problem. It's also a problem if you have a personal problem with it. While I personally think that, while used responsibly, weed is harmless, I also completely understand that there are people who aren't okay with it. As for the predictions that it will make him lazy or a bad partner, this is not necessarily true. I smoke a little weed most nights right before bed...it relaxes my nerves and helps me sleep. And I am one of the LEAST lazy people you will ever meet. I work out 6 days a week, have a 40-hour-a-week career, and volunteer for an animal shelter 2 days a week. Lazy? I don't think so. Not sure where you live, but I live in Michigan where marijuana is legalized for medicinal use, and I have a prescription for it (though I will admit that I smoked before it was legal too). Is this the case with this guy? So, it depends on the person, your beliefs, and how much he smokes. Don't go into it wanting to change him though...I think you already know that is a BAD idea! Right on. I know so many professionals who smoke to relax after a hard day of work. I live in Arlington, VA where pot marijuana is illegal. The federal government employs a great amount of people in this area, some of them through government contractors who will do an initial drug test, nothing more. I understand smoking marijuana is illegal and many find it absolutely unacceptable. The reality is that although I do not promote the use of any drug or alcohol on a daily basis, weed is probably the safest of all bad habits as long as the person is responsible
Kang Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Coming from a late teens guy that smokes up every day.. I've seen a lot worse than Maryjane and to be honest with you, I'd say it isn't even as bad as Drinking (I've seen a fair share of fights and stupidity come out of drinking) The most you're gonna do when your high on MJ is raid the fridge or walk through the drive through at Tim Hortons or McDonalds. But there should always be a limit to how much one smokes so I'd say if he has anymore than 20 a day and can't afford that much money spent a month then don't bother. If he can afford it I'd say let him do whatever I mean if he gets busted and you don't smoke the test will be clean and you can just feign ignorance. And lastly about that lazyness thing that people are so misinformed about, if he has any willpower at all its not hard to over come those effects, and most times when I smoke up I really wanna be doing something afterwards. In my opinion it helps me write more fluently and gives depth to my writing. Just my two cents.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 As for the predictions that it will make him lazy or a bad partner, this is not necessarily true. I smoke a little weed most nights right before bed...it relaxes my nerves and helps me sleep. And I am one of the LEAST lazy people you will ever meet. I work out 6 days a week, have a 40-hour-a-week career, and volunteer for an animal shelter 2 days a week. Lazy? I don't think so. Yep. My last bf was a pretty big stoner, and he was one of the hardest-working people I've ever known. A good friend of mine who makes bank and seems to get a promotion every few months is a major toker. And as for the illegal argument, please. Do you ever illegally download music or movies? Speed while driving? Talk on the phone or text while driving? The cops showed up at my crazy neighbor's one night because he had his music blaring, and they asked him if he had weed in the house. "Yeah, I've got a quarter right here," he said. They saw it and didn't do a thing, just told him to turn down the music.
kiss_andmakeup Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Yep. My last bf was a pretty big stoner, and he was one of the hardest-working people I've ever known. A good friend of mine who makes bank and seems to get a promotion every few months is a major toker. Sometimes the people who work the hardest need it the most, 'cause they're so stressed out!
Ruby Slippers Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 I'm not sure what you do, but I'd be willing to wager that there are people you'd never guess smoke weed, that do. Carl Sagan, famous and very successful astrophysicist, was a total stoner. From wikipedia: Sagan was a user and advocate of marijuana. Under the pseudonym "Mr. X", he contributed an essay about smoking cannabis to the 1971 book Marijuana Reconsidered. The essay explained that marijuana use had helped to inspire some of Sagan's works and enhance sensual and intellectual experiences. And a quote from him on the subject: "The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world." And by the way, it'll be legal before we know it. Can't stop what's coming.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Sometimes the people who work the hardest need it the most, 'cause they're so stressed out! Yeah, I have been working 60-80 hours a week in 2010, and I've averaged higher monthly earnings this year than ever before in my life -- all while smoking a fair amount of weed to chill at the end of plenty of days.
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