Clep Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Hi there, I work with children for a living and have found without exception that every Asian boy I have had in care has been severely spoiled. I have not found this with the girls at all. I have had to terminate care with every Asian child I have ever had for the exact same reasons each time. I have one family that has a girl and a boy. The girl is an amazing child. The son is absolutely horrible. I have let the parents know I will no longer care for this child. He has no boundaries at all. His tantrums and manipulation decide mostly everything. He is very small for his age as he will not eat unless he has complete junk and his parents have fallen for that. He eats cookies and chocolate milk for breakfast every day. Their permissive parenting has caused health problems for the child. I do not know how he will possibly be able to go to school with his current lack of coping skills.I could go on and on with a tremendous amount of examples of this type of permissive pathetic parenting and the results. Why is it that just the boys seem to be this way? Why does Asian culture parent like this? What are the beliefs that bring about this type of parenting? I truly want to understand so I don't feel so angry and judgmental. It would be nice if parents understood that other people don't see their children with the rose colored glasses they do. Geesh
Els Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Boys are more valued than girls in many Asian cultures. Very sad, but very true. In certain cases it goes to the extent of parents in countries where children are limited (China, Singapore) aborting when they have a girl just so they can fulfill their quota with a boy instead. In smaller ways, too, the boys get more freedom, the girls are expected to help around the house more, and in family gatherings the men and sons always get 'priority'. That is one of the main reasons I despise my own culture (I'm Asian).
You'reasian Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Asians are also better off economically speaking from the late 20th century onward. Families who do better can provide more for their children.
Els Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Asians are also better off economically speaking from the late 20th century onward. Families who do better can provide more for their children. This doesn't explain why it's just the boys.
You'reasian Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 (edited) This doesn't explain why it's just the boys. True. Your answer is spot on. If you look back a generation or two the word spoil and Asian child would be an anomaly in the same sentence. Improved standard of living has amplified male-preference. Edited May 30, 2010 by You'reasian
Cinnamon2000 Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 True. Your answer is spot on. If you look back a generation or two the word spoil and Asian child would be an anomaly in the same sentence. Improved standard of living has amplified male-preference. Not true at all. Male-preference has been a tradition in the East Asian or Asian cultures in general, not for thousands of years. Yes, thousands!
DaisyLeigh Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 Boys are more valued than girls in many Asian cultures. Very sad, but very true. In certain cases it goes to the extent of parents in countries where children are limited (China, Singapore) aborting when they have a girl just so they can fulfill their quota with a boy instead. In smaller ways, too, the boys get more freedom, the girls are expected to help around the house more, and in family gatherings the men and sons always get 'priority'. That is one of the main reasons I despise my own culture (I'm Asian). How primitive and bordering on barbaric can you get? And in the 21st Century, too. People who whine about how bad Americans and the US are, ought to rethink their stance.
USMCHokie Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Boys are more valued than girls in many Asian cultures. Very sad, but very true. In certain cases it goes to the extent of parents in countries where children are limited (China, Singapore) aborting when they have a girl just so they can fulfill their quota with a boy instead. In smaller ways, too, the boys get more freedom, the girls are expected to help around the house more, and in family gatherings the men and sons always get 'priority'. That is one of the main reasons I despise my own culture (I'm Asian). +1, especially in more traditional Asian families. Depending on the extent of western assimilation, you will see a wide range of "preference" towards the male children. Those that are more assimilated tend to be less likely to adhere to this preference, in my experience.
BlackLovely Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Boys are more valued than girls in many Asian cultures. Very sad, but very true. In certain cases it goes to the extent of parents in countries where children are limited (China, Singapore) aborting when they have a girl just so they can fulfill their quota with a boy instead. In smaller ways, too, the boys get more freedom, the girls are expected to help around the house more, and in family gatherings the men and sons always get 'priority'. That is one of the main reasons I despise my own culture (I'm Asian). Caribbean families favor boys too. None of my brothers were forced to learn how to cook or do laundry for six people. All the boys in my extended family had much more freedom. The girls were closely watched with earlier curfews. I am considered rebellious because I did not stay home until I was married, like a "good girl".
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