mlh5046 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Been seeing a girl for a while. We had sex like the 3rd time we went out. What has been bothering me extremely for the last month or so is that she said right before we did it the first time "If you want to just use me for sex thats cool". So I heard that and figured thats what this was, just a sex thing. Then when I kinda start to pull away gradually she keeps coming back to me. She says how much she likes being with me, blah blah blah. So we hang out a little bit more and she keeps trying to get me to get "official" on facebook. I told her I am not ready so she keeps asking why and I bring up that she said using her for sex is cool, so it made me tentative about a relationship. She then tried saying she was drunk and totally didn't mean it. She said she only said it because she wanted me to keep hanging out with her and didn't want me to stop talking to her. Weird right?? So I am confused. What am I to think of her? To the girls, is she a slut?
BWLoca Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 She sounds very desperate which just screams low self-esteem issues... I wouldn't call her a slut, though.
RedRussian Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 When most if not all sluts have low self-esteem, soooooo if you don't want to and it does not feel right, use her few more times and move on to someone normal. If she was drunk that day when she said it and had sex, so every time she gets drunk it seems she is prone with sleeping on 3rd or 2nd or 1st date...so not very stable.
legallyblonde289 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 not a slut, she's deffinately insecure though. she had sex with you because thats the only way she thought she could keep you. what i dont understand is it sounds like you were open to a relationship before, and now that she did that you're not. so maybe you're proving her right? p.s. am i the only one that finds these threads where guys ask if a girls a slut bc she did such-and-such but never asks if the guy participating in the same activity is a slut disrespectful?
Kamille Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Yes, legallyblonde, I also fail to understand why "sluttitude" is so important to some guys. Like, they could meet the nicest, smartest, funniest, most compatible person on earth, but all that would be moot if the girl did anything that could remotely make them think she might have enjoyed sex before they started dating her. But, to the OP... It doesn't matter what she did or said in the early stages of dating, what matters is how you feel. You now know this girl wants something serious in spite of what she said on the third date (eh, she changed her mind - do you never do that?). So the question is: could you see yourself being in a serious relationship with her? If not, tell her so and see if she's really okay with being casual lovers.
marsle85 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I think she's a slut. Had she said "If you want to just keep this physical," I would have considered her sexual freedom laudable, but the operative word in her case is "use." AKA- she's OK with being used, and her motivations to have sex aren't just for gratification or fun. More than anything, though- it's sad. Poor girl.
crimsonmike Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 p.s. am i the only one that finds these threads where guys ask if a girls a slut bc she did such-and-such but never asks if the guy participating in the same activity is a slut disrespectful? That's just a fact of life. It's very hypocritical, but I'm as guilty as the next guy. Sluts are fun for a night, but I ain't takin one to meet momma. Plenty of stuff guys have to deal with too. That's just one for yall to deal with.
malala7 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Yes, legallyblonde, I also fail to understand why "sluttitude" is so important to some guys. Like, they could meet the nicest, smartest, funniest, most compatible person on earth, but all that would be moot if the girl did anything that could remotely make them think she might have enjoyed sex before they started dating her. But, to the OP... It doesn't matter what she did or said in the early stages of dating, what matters is how you feel. You now know this girl wants something serious in spite of what she said on the third date (eh, she changed her mind - do you never do that?). So the question is: could you see yourself being in a serious relationship with her? If not, tell her so and see if she's really okay with being casual lovers. Totally agree. This guy is using those simple words to avoid commitment at all cost. If he doesn't feel like being with her in a serious relationship he has to stop giving her excuses and blame her for his lack of real interest just because she said something stupid she didn't mean a month ago.
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