hearttobreak Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I have been dating this wonderful woman for four and a half months. Lately, Saturday nights are now always with her son. Like the son and all, but really want to spend more quality time with her, not just her and her son. I spend three or four days with her and her son, and a friend who seems to always come along with the son. Which is fine, but it would be nice if it would be just one night, even for a few hours, just me and her. How do I bring this up without being to offensive? I know, when I bring it up, she's going to say, you knew the deal, her and her son are a package. Which is fine, but one night out, for a few hours, every couple of weeks.. Is that too much to ask? The son is 14, so its not like he cannot say at home or hang with a friend or two. Originally, when we started to go out, the son would stay a lone or with a friend for a few hours, or sleep over, etc. For the past month, every Saturday night, the son and a friend of his choosing comes along. Since I know it can be a sensitive subject, I cannot find the words to tell her its an issue. I just know she'll tear up and start crying. Is one night or a few hours for each other too much to ask for?
phineas Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 When you say alone, you mean sex. Have you guys had sex yet? It sounds like she doesn't want to be alone with you.
2sure Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Nope, not to much to ask. You want adult time. Of course you do. Adult time can be anything from sex to dinner, whatever. No kids. One on one. Married people have to have that for a successful relationship, so clearly its also necessary while dating. Depending on how long she has been a single mother...she may be the kind that is only capable of putting her child first...not herself , not her relationships, not her partners. I was her...so I know. You gotta have that talk.
Author hearttobreak Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 When you say alone, you mean sex. Have you guys had sex yet? It sounds like she doesn't want to be alone with you. Not likely. We have sex two or three times a week. Usually on the weekend. Not talking about sex. Sex has no issues. Just going out between the two of us. To dinner, for a drive, to the park, to a movie, etc. I am seeing her this weekend. Will bring it up and hopefully she sees my POV.
magda Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 A date night isn't too much to ask, unless you phrase it oddly and mention "without your son" as part of the appeal. Is Saturday her designated night with her son? I would come up with date ideas and then ask her when she could be free to come along. Make it clear- it's a date, because you want to romance her. Don't phrase it like you want adult time without the son. Just think of a date, then ask her. If there's a specific adult-only thing that has to be done on Saturday, some show perhaps, leave it up to her to decide if she will make arrangements. Don't bring up the son at all if you can help it, just say you want to take her on a special date. During the date, while she's high on grown up time, you could say, "How about making this a semi-regular thing on Saturdays, do you think that would work out?"
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