Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 What I mean is, if you saw a guy attempt to chat up a girl, but a conversation didn't pan out or she didn't comply if he asked for her number or whatever, would you think less of him? Would you mind him coming up to talk to you after ward?
jadepeony Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Yes, we mind. Why do we need to feel like you're settling for us. We always want to be first choice. Same goes for guys too.
Author Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 Okay, so another hypothetical. Let's say a guy makes a move on you. There's another girl close by who likes him and is open to him coming to talk to her (he doesn't know it) but to not offend you and for the slight chance that you might be interested in him as well, he comes to talk to you first. Would that other girl be open to him coming up to her second?
Crazy Magnet Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I'm not second rate material. I wouldn't give him the time of day after that.
jadepeony Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Okay, so another hypothetical. Let's say a guy makes a move on you. There's another girl close by who likes him and is open to him coming to talk to her (he doesn't know it) but to not offend you and for the slight chance that you might be interested in him as well, he comes to talk to you first. Would that other girl be open to him coming up to her second? It wouldn't be as offensive if you didn't hit on the second girl right after the first, but what are the chances of seeing her again? If all of that happened in the same place, at the same time, then yea, the second girl would probably lose interest in you after seeing you hit on the first girl.
deux ex machina Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 What I mean is' date=' if you saw a guy attempt to chat up a girl, but a conversation didn't pan out or she didn't comply if he asked for her number or whatever, would you think less of him?[/quote'] I wouldn't think less of a person because it didn't work out with someone. These things happen. Would you mind him coming up to talk to you after ward? This is the part I'd have a problem with. Yes, I'd mind. I wouldn't let him know that was the reason, but I'd gently make him aware it would never happen between us. Okay, so another hypothetical. Let's say a guy makes a move on you. There's another girl close by who likes him and is open to him coming to talk to her (he doesn't know it) but to not offend you and for the slight chance that you might be interested in him as well, he comes to talk to you first. Would that other girl be open to him coming up to her second? Anything's possible. But I doubt it.
Author Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 What if there was a span of time between the 2 interactions (him going up and getting rejected by the first girl and then coming up to you) of say, a couple of days? A week? A month?
Knittress Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Yep! When a guy acts like that he's making it clear to me that I'm just interchangeable and convenient. That's hardly going to induce me to bother conversing with him.
marsle85 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 What if there was a span of time between the 2 interactions (him going up and getting rejected by the first girl and then coming up to you) of say' date=' a couple of days? A week? A month?[/quote'] I think providing a specific example may reward you with more direct responses...
deux ex machina Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Yep! When a guy acts like that he's making it clear to me that I'm just interchangeable and convenient. That's hardly going to induce me to bother conversing with him. Well said! ---------- What if there was a span of time between the 2 interactions (him going up and getting rejected by the first girl and then coming up to you) of say' date=' a couple of days? A week? A month?[/quote'] Exactly 3.5 years.
Author Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 I think providing a specific example may reward you with more direct responses... Because you've all been encouraging me to talk to girls in public places, which I have the past couple of days. The problem is, this is a small town. Young, attractive single girls are few and far between (I was shopping at the super market for my parents today for over and hour, and I saw ONE moderately attractive girl who looked 10 years older than me) and I personally know how gossipy girls are. It's so easy for a guy to become "THAT guy." When I attempted to chat up that girl in Starbucks, there were, fortunately, no other girls in earshot, but when I talked to the girl walking her dog, there were a few other girls sitting and hanging around in the vicinity. I made of a mental note of their faces and wonder if I should even attempt to talk to them in the near future after they saw me botch my attempt to ask out the girl with the puppy.
jadepeony Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 What if there was a span of time between the 2 interactions (him going up and getting rejected by the first girl and then coming up to you) of say' date=' a couple of days? A week? A month?[/quote'] If this is something that you're currently experiencing, then maybe you should give us more details so that we can give you better answers. It would seem to be acceptable if you approach the second girl in a subtle way. Don't ask her out right off the bat because it would seem cheap to. If you take the time to really get to know her and show her that you're sincere, then it would be harmless to ask her out after that. Just be sincere about it.
deux ex machina Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Ah. I see. Since you are asking regarding a specific length of time, I'd say at least a month.
Crazy Magnet Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Ah. I see. Since you are asking regarding a specific length of time, I'd say at least a month. I see the issue too now. Several weeks or a month ought to do it. When you say "small town" what do you mean by that?
Author Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 (edited) I see the issue too now. Several weeks or a month ought to do it. When you say "small town" what do you mean by that? 6000-7000 people spread amongst 30 square miles; half the town being suburban and all the rest being farmland or forest, and 1 strip mall. I usually don't hang out here. I hang in the town center 2 towns over on my way to/from work, but I don't wanna spoil my regular hangouts. I want to try and chat up more girls, but I don't want a reputation "that guy who's always trying to chat up girls." Edited May 27, 2010 by Don'tWannabeAWannabe
USMCHokie Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 6000-7000 people spread amongst 30 square miles; half the town being suburban and all the rest being farmland or forest, and 1 strip mall. I usually don't hang out here. I hang in the town center 2 towns over on my way to/from work, but I don't wanna spoil my regular hangouts. I want to try and chat up more girls, but I don't want a reputation "that guy who's always trying to chat up girls." I'd recommend you expand yourself to the nearest major city...even if it's a bit of a drive...for example, a lot of military bases (especially the training bases) are practically in the middle of nowhere (oh, how I love you, 29 Palms... )...and a lot of times you have to go out to the bigger cities to have a larger pool of women and any semblance of decent social activity...even if it's an hour and a half drive on a Saturday night...I was at Columbus AFB a couple months ago visiting a friend, and it's right between Mississippi State (Starksville) and University of Alabama (Tuscaloosa), about an hour from both...so on weekends that's where you went... But it's just a suggestion...
Crazy Magnet Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 6000-7000 people spread amongst 30 square miles; half the town being suburban and all the rest being farmland or forest, and 1 strip mall. I usually don't hang out here. I hang in the town center 2 towns over on my way to/from work, but I don't wanna spoil my regular hangouts. I want to try and chat up more girls, but I don't want a reputation "that guy who's always trying to chat up girls." Small town dating is so hard. People get married young and there's not a lot left to pick from after that. Are you originally from this place or are you a newbie (which will make you life that much harder!) You may in fact get that reputation but remember, as few single girls are there are, there are only as many single guys. Everybody is going to be hitting on everybody b/c there's only so much to go around. I would also look in other towns for girls to sort of spread things around a bit.
Crazy Magnet Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I'd recommend you expand yourself to the nearest major city...even if it's a bit of a drive...for example, a lot of military bases (especially the training bases) are practically in the middle of nowhere (oh, how I love you, 29 Palms... )...and a lot of times you have to go out to the bigger cities to have a larger pool of women and any semblance of decent social activity...even if it's an hour and a half drive on a Saturday night...I was at Columbus AFB a couple months ago visiting a friend, and it's right between Mississippi State (Starksville) and University of Alabama (Tuscaloosa), about an hour from both...so on weekends that's where you went... But it's just a suggestion... Starkvegas!!! I can't really say there's a whole lot to do there either. I might take my chances out in the middle of nowhere! lol
USMCHokie Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Starkvegas!!! I can't really say there's a whole lot to do there either. I might take my chances out in the middle of nowhere! lol HAHAHAHAH! So you know! I'm soo glad we decided to go to Tuscaloosa while I was there...
Taramere Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 (edited) I probably wouldn't even notice a man getting rejected by another woman, as I tend to focus on the people I'm with rather than what other people in the room are doing. If I did notice, the fact that she'd knocked him back wouldn't make any difference to me. What matters, in the initial stages at least, isn't whether he finds me 1st choice, 2nd choice or whatever other numerical choice. The only thing I'm interested in when someone starts a conversation with me is whether we're going to have an entertaining conversation - or if it's likely to be something to be suffered politely, that will end in mild awkwardness. I don't really think beyond that when a man starts up a conversation with me. If you're approaching women with a little "I want to get laid" thought bubble above your head, then you're probably going to keep getting knocked back. Walk before you can run. Try to just focus on having an interesting and fun conversation with women you've newly met, as opposed to being caught up in trying to get them into the sack. That way they're more likely to want to keep talking to you. Edited May 27, 2010 by Taramere
Author Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 Small town dating is so hard. People get married young and there's not a lot left to pick from after that. Are you originally from this place or are you a newbie (which will make you life that much harder!) I consider it to be both, to be honest. This is my hometown, where I grew up. But I was away at college in another state for so many years that I kinda lost track with everyone here. I didn't have that many friends in high school, and I was away from them for so long that I grew apart from them.
Author Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 Ah. I see. Since you are asking regarding a specific length of time, I'd say at least a month. Seriously? A month? That's the price I have to pay for a failed 20-second exchange?
Els Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 If you are perpetually going to ask out random hot girls whom you see around and don't even know from anywhere... yes, you WILL get a reputation as 'that guy' in a small community. It may or may not be a bad thing, some women may even admire the guts. But it is a fact.
Recommended Posts