spookie Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Yesterday afternoon my boyfriend came over with sushi and a toolbox to put my new Ikea furniture together. I should be happy, right? I mean, what more could I possibly ask for? When I first dating this guy, I kept expecting him to disappoint. But 6 months later, it's becoming more and more apparent he's a great catch. In addition to being really fun to be around, he's basically scored straight 100's on "treating me well". He's never not called when he said that he would. He leaves me alone when I'm stressed, but makes time to see me no matter what else is going on in his life. He texts me "thanks for staying over" after every single night that I do. He's taken the train to my place at midnight, bearing ice cream, to see me before I went out of town. He's been there for me to take care of all the "man" stuff. He's sexy, funny, affectionate, extremely appreciative. And that's in addition to the stereotypical combo of funny, successful, and hot, that most women find attractive. In short, he's perfect. Which is why I'm freaking out. I'm thinking of my brain, and the number it's gonna pull on me if I lose this guy. =( If he leaves me. If something tragic happens and he gets hurt badly or dies. Is fear the other side of love? How can I enjoy love without worrying about this stuff?
alphamale Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Is fear the other side of love? no, indifference is the other side of love How can I enjoy love without worrying about this stuff? everyone has to deal with these bad thoughts. just go with the flow and try not to think about these negative things.
brainygirl Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 it sounds like your issues are getting in the way. If he's never given you reason to doubt him, don't doubt him. Don't rush the relationship because that's a sure way to kill it, but don't push him away either. It may be forever or it may run its course and end. Just enjoy it now.
Pink Cupcakes Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Has he said anything which makes you think he's not seeing it as a serious relationship with you?
skydiveaddict Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Spookie, quit worrying so much and have a good time
Author spookie Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 i guess i just cant believe my good luck. i mean, don't get me wrong, i think i'm a good catch too, and a really good gf, but still, reading the horror stories here, and watching my friends fail at love, i know how fortunate i am that my relationship is so blissful. i keep bracing myself for my luck to change.
skydiveaddict Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 i guess i just cant believe my good luck. i mean, don't get me wrong, i think i'm a good catch too, and a really good gf, but still, reading the horror stories here, and watching my friends fail at love, i know how fortunate i am that my relationship is so blissful. i keep bracing myself for my luck to change. no no no concentrate on the good. Have fun w/your life. everything will be cool. Sounds like you have a great bf. focus on that
pandagirl Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 i guess i just cant believe my good luck. i mean, don't get me wrong, i think i'm a good catch too, and a really good gf, but still, reading the horror stories here, and watching my friends fail at love, i know how fortunate i am that my relationship is so blissful. i keep bracing myself for my luck to change. I don't remember too much about this guy, but is this the one who "sort of" cheat on this GF with you? I am passing no judgment, because I have no idea what really happened, but maybe it's because of how you guys got together, that is maybe subconsciously making you feel less secure and more anxious?
Twenty-ten Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Is fear the other side of love? How can I enjoy love without worrying about this stuff? No, fear is very much a part of love and especially the "falling in love" part. When we fall in love with someone there is a balance of uncertainty and comfort that makes it very exciting and creates that in love feeling. You just have make sure that your anxieties don't overpower your good feelings, and while a normal amount of anxiety is always expected what you are describing sounds more like past hurts and fears that you are bringing with you into this relationship. You have to face this with a complete open heart and mind, very important. If you start to think negative anxious-ridden thoughts that are based on past hurts STOP. He is new, is not your past, and you will cross that path of "getting hurt" if it even comes. For now he is doing everything right so try to focus on that, and remember that he is not perfect and you will find things in him that will show you that he is less than perfect, because he IS human.
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