Kiley12 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 (edited) I've been dating my guy for about 3 months now (same guy I wrote about in my 'great date, no word for 3 days' post) and things are going well. I saw him over the weekend and he picked me up and took me out to a nice dinner and drinks. We've been on about 10 dates now and he's likes to make comments to probe if I'm dating other guys. He made yet another one that night and I told him no I'm not but he had this look of disbelief on his face and didn't look fully convinced. I should have taken the op to make it completely clear to him that I'm not and also ask him if he's dating anyone else but I just said no and moved on from the topic...hindsight is 20/20. Through out the weekend date, he brought up the we word maybe 6-7x's..we'll do this, we'll have to go here, when we get this, what if we got matching ...' He's also referred me to as 'my girl' on the phone with a co-worker and said I'm with 'Kiley' to a friend I haven't met yet but heard a lot about. After spending time with him, I'm sure now that I want to be with him. I'm going to make it clear the next time I see him that I'm not dating anyone else and find out if he's dating others. At 3 months in I think it's time to talk about it. My gut tells me he's not dating anyone else and throwing the 'we' word around is one indication (not the only) that convinces me he's not. Just wanted to get your thoughts on this before I talk to him as I still have my insecurities - if a guy probing whether I'm dating anyone else' - is that good indication that he wants to get serious? Or as one of my friend's suggested, it could it be that he's asking so he can tell me that he's dating other ppl? Edited May 26, 2010 by Kiley12
ADF Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Whether or not either of you is dating others should have come out LONG before this point. This is the kind of thing people ought to get straight between them almost from the beginning. From what you've said, it doesn't sound like he is dating others. But you never know. I hope that if you find he is, you're not too hurt, and that he is on the same page as you. Don't probe. Ask.
Ihavenoidea Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 If it was me I would be asking because I would want to get serious. Or he just isnt comfortable with dating someone who is seeing multiple people. I prefer not to date women who are seeing others. Obviously woman can see who they want but I tend to stay away. I don't date multiples so I tend to only date women who will give their full dating attention to me. A lot of people have sex while just dating so he might be assuming you are sleeping with other guys which is fine because you guys arent exclusive. But like I said earlier I wouldnt be comfortable dating a woman who is getting banged by someone else.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Sounds like he wants exclusivity. But if I were you, I'd let him ask for it. Men like to feel they have worked for it, earned it. And right now, when he's wondering if he's going to get a commitment to exclusivity from you, you can bet he's worked into a lather thinking about making it happen. Let him enjoy it. You enjoy it, too.
MyNameIsJane Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 It pretty much sounds like you are on the path to being exclusive. If the opportunity comes up naturally, I would seize it and use to to voice your opinions on how you feel about him and where you want things to go. I personally wouldn't confront him about it - because then it takes a serious controlling girl-wants-to-lock down direction... but that is just my style of things. Wait until it can naturally come up in a conversation, or during a romantic moment and just tell him how you feel. That you aren't seeing anyone else - and that you don't want to. He will get it. It sounds like he is with you on that page already.
TheBigQuestion Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 "We" nearly always indicates that the person already considers you a couple or that it is the expectation for the not-so-distant future. Then again, early last year, I was seeing a girl for a little over a month. I was over her place one night, used the can, and forgot to put the seat back down. Her light-hearted reaction was "You left the seat up. You're doing this already?" which implied that she saw some kind of future. She frequently made references to us doing stuff weeks or months in advance, and then a few weeks after that particular incident, she started drifting away. It's tough. If your guy isn't as much of a psycho as that girl was, you should be in good shape.
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