TonyStewart20 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 My wife and I have been married for just under a year and I'm completely miserable! She's pregnant for the 2nd time (first time was a miscarriage late last year) and she's a few weeks into the current pregnancy. I want to have a baby! I know I can take care of it. The problem is, I know my wife in her current mental state is in no position to be a mother. She's unemployed (she's graduated from college with a fairly significant degree). It's hard for me to even think she's a good person at heart. She thinks the worst of everyone. Not in the paranoid way (everyone's out to get me), but just has thinks everyone is evil but her. She's incredibly selfish and stubborn. I too am stubborn and have a tough-time dealing with instances where she's petty and selfish. I try to tell her she shouldn't be thinking that way of people or she should be helping people when she can, instead she chooses to be selfish. When I do tell her, she's goes insane. She has thrown things at me, she's scratched me and she's even punched me and slapped me. It's been incredibly difficult to not hit her back, but thus far I've been able to control myself. There have been times I had to push her off in self defense, fearing for my life. I've not called the police on her as I don't want her parents (my inlaws to be hurt). They don't have a clue as to how the marriage is. They've treated me like gold and that's the only real reason I'm still in this. Even though I may still have the feelings I had for her originally (it's deep, beyond the feelings of wanting to give up.) I know she needs to see psychiatric help for her anger issues and her issues of everyday pettyness to put it simply. I do admit, I'm a very poor communicator when it comes to wife now. I get irritated very quickly and shut down as I simply can't deal with her. She refuses to listen, starts yelling, ranting and raving. I tune her out and ignore as I simply can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave her as I do love her. There are days where I am attracted to her. But her inability to be even kieled consistently is forcing my hand. I have never met anyone in my entire life who cannot deal with simple issues and gets frustrated and angry so easily.
2sure Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Why on earth have the two of you then been trying so hard to get pregnant?? Getting pregant the first time may have been accidentally on purpose on her part.....since she does not wish to work. But now that she is pregnant again, it must have been a decision you both made. I know its after the fact....but I just dont get it.
dazzle22 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 You realize of course that this baby will get half its genes from a woman who now looks pretty crazy to you?...But that horse is out of the barn already as they say. What are her parents like? If she is being like this you may have to enlist their help. Could she have gone into a post miscarriage depression? Did she show you any of these personality traits before marriage.? Is there any bipolar illness in the family?
jenniesteve Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 If there is any kind of strain in relationship, then one must consult Counseling.many time it helps.
giotto Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 who's been selfish? And who's selfish? You wanted a baby so much you are going to put it through all this crap? You must be mad...
Krytie TV Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 So you're the guy who married my ex! Yeah man, you just can't deal with this. I tried myself and walked away from an 18 month marriage. I used to be ambarassed about it, but now that I have a loving wife and children on the way, I wonder how it took me sooo long. I'm guessing she has no desire to change. If not, you can only help yourself here by leaving.
MommyT Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.
MommyT Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Sounds really hectic!! You love her and there is a baby on the way. You owe it to yourself, her and the baby to try everything before giving up. Parent involvement, counseling, whatever it takes! Something may work, or not, but at least your conscious will be clear that you tried everything. You don't ever want it to be said that you didn't try hard enough where a marraige and kid(s) are concerned! Whatever you do, please don't make any more babies until things are better!!!!!
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