mixwell Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 My brother who is 32 is dating a 19 year old girl and he says he is in love with her and would marry her in a heartbeat, and I am quite disturbed considering I am the baby of the family at 20. I just think he has such low self esteem that he went for whoever available and this girl needing a place to stay shacked up with my brother within the first month...what is he thinking? She will change in the next few years and he will be heartbroken when she leaves him for a hot young stud! My 2 pennies on this topic are this.. I dated a chick that was 19 when I was 25 and honestly our mental levels just weren't there.. You figure @ 25 you kinda have an idea on how real life (ie. paying bills, rent a steady job etc.) go but my ex g/f's mentality was more of a person just out of highschool.. This chick was smoking hot so I guess I didn't mind but honestly I swore and will never again (at 27) date a chick that younger than 23.. I would hookup for sure but I think the HUGE difference in that age cap in the age range (as you get older I do believe you get on more of the same level) but I think there is that certain age range that a younger female has no clue of what's going on and I think this is what you mean.. Okay first of all she is 19 and the same line I heard from my ex I guarantee your bro will here "oh I've experience a lot blah blah and I don't care go to clubbing" but the funny thing is now that we're just friends and she is 21 ever time I talk to her it seems like she's going out to a club or some **** but when we were together she claimed that she "wasn't into that scene" haha.. Not to be an arsehole but your bro needs to wake the hell up and I wish he could see how much this changes once she hits 21 and again once she is in her earlier to mid 20s, she will most likely be a different person.. To the OP, I totally understand what you're saying but sadly on certain situations there is no amount of advice you can give someone, they just have to experience it for themselves and I think you should just let your bro experience it and I guarantee withing a few years he will look back and admit how stupid it was and I highly doubt that he would want ANY relationship with a teenage chick.. This is just my 2 pennies on it again from personal experience.. To much drama, too ignorant and too much BS for me personally, I will NEVER have a teenage or 20,21 year old girlfriend EVER.. I would have sex with one for sure but never a seriously committed relationship with one...
shunter Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 You guys are all wrong. I married someone who was 20 when I was 34. Met her when she was 18. I would not have minded if she was 24 or 27, but she just happened to be 18, mature for her age, and absolutely wonderful. Did I go up to her because she was youthful looking? yes. i didnt know she was 18 i thought maybe 24. But that didnt bother me because i really liked her and dated her. I have dated women in their late 20s and early 30s and it wasnt the age that was attractive to me it was the person. I could care less about dating someone 38 if she was as wonderful as my wife. So there is nothing wrong with dating a younger girl. I look young for my age and get carded when buying alcohol. So I dont look like a creeper and I dont think I have ever turned anyone's eye. So I think you need to send us pics of the two and we can decide how they look together. if he looks like her dad then maybe it is gross. but aside from that, if they look good together and if they are happy together then it is sad for you to act like this.
Ilovehim Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 I agree with the OP. If the girl was mature and they were truly IN LOVE I GUESSSSS i would be a little more accepting but with everythign I'm hearing-EW! I'm a 21 year old female and I think it's just wrong to get with a girl who just turned 19. He got with her when she was 18!??? Why would someone in his 30's not want to date someone AT LEAST in her 20's?? I mean she has the word "teen" attached after her age for crying out loud. EW!
Ilovehim Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 You guys are all wrong. I married someone who was 20 when I was 34. Met her when she was 18. I would not have minded if she was 24 or 27, but she just happened to be 18, mature for her age, and absolutely wonderful. Did I go up to her because she was youthful looking? yes. i didnt know she was 18 i thought maybe 24. But that didnt bother me because i really liked her and dated her. I have dated women in their late 20s and early 30s and it wasnt the age that was attractive to me it was the person. I could care less about dating someone 38 if she was as wonderful as my wife. So there is nothing wrong with dating a younger girl. I look young for my age and get carded when buying alcohol. So I dont look like a creeper and I dont think I have ever turned anyone's eye. So I think you need to send us pics of the two and we can decide how they look together. if he looks like her dad then maybe it is gross. but aside from that, if they look good together and if they are happy together then it is sad for you to act like this. You said she was mature. What the OP is saying the girl is very immature, got kicked out of her house, slept with the guy very soon when she met him and now is using him for a place to live. The age is just another factor.
Author juniperjo Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 You said she was mature. What the OP is saying the girl is very immature, got kicked out of her house, slept with the guy very soon when she met him and now is using him for a place to live. The age is just another factor. thank you for agreeing...I talked to the girls mom and she was having sex at 13 smoking weed and drinking too...So she moved with the grandparents and they couldnt handle her she moved out with a friend until they had it out she found my brother a great escape and a free car and a place to live in my eyes. She has a job but she still needs alot of growing up to do. As for my brother he acts immature himself with his addiction to his xbox games and weed. As for the guy who is dating a young girl..How long ago was this and if has been recent..you bet she will change and get bored with you and want to explore life. Unless you are the typical old school male thinking a womans role is in the home and trap her with housework and kids. Now days women are independent and not live in maids so when she dumps you for a hot stud let me hear you on here crying bout how a teen LOL broke your heart!
Author juniperjo Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 Just found out she picked out baby names already and says she is inlove with him and its only been a month and sent him naked pics and videos WTF....yeah that sounds real mature! Oh well..i guess when your desperate you will say or do anything!
candymoon Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 thank you for agreeing...I talked to the girls mom and she was having sex at 13 smoking weed and drinking too...So she moved with the grandparents and they couldnt handle her she moved out with a friend until they had it out she found my brother a great escape and a free car and a place to live in my eyes. She has a job but she still needs alot of growing up to do. As for my brother he acts immature himself with his addiction to his xbox games and weed. Sounds like your issues have more to do with your bro growing up than anything to do with the girl. He's not much more than her age mentally. You want a REAL older brother and don't have it. It's what you have... sorry. One day he won't have a choice but to grow up and be a man who dates women. For now, he dates reflecting what he is inside... so in a way, he is using her as much as she is using him
BettyBoop Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Juniperjo, I actually understand your disgust. I was disgusted myself when my female friend of 22 years told me she was dating a 15 year old. I had a hard time accepting that, and still do. But my female friend is "special" and since his family has accepted it I felt it was none of my business. She, as well as her boyfriend, are both very insecure people as well - like your brother and that girl. It's her choice just as it is your brother's choice - even if we think they're plain dumb and feel it's rather disgusting to fancy sex with a teenager who is 7 (or in your case 13) years older than they are. They will find out soon enough if it's meant to be or not. It's their choices and they alone have to deal with the consequences. I think you should try to be happy for your brother - just as I try to be happy for my female friend. But I know it's hard. I know too well.
Ross PK Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 She's an adult. Can't understand why some people are reacting as though he's near enough a pedo.
Author juniperjo Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 She's an adult. Can't understand why some people are reacting as though he's near enough a pedo. the girl just graduated freaking highschool now come on thats a bit odd.."hey where you going"? Oh i gotta go to my gf's hs graduation ceremony...WTF thats close to pedophilia to me...when she was 6 learning to ride a bike he was graduating and havng sex and drinking...Now if she was 25 him 37 different she wouldnt be a TEEN or atleast would have exp life a bit..but im staying out of it and watching it crumble. If it works then i was wrong but its a huge joke to me!
janie423 Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 the girl just graduated freaking highschool now come on thats a bit odd.."hey where you going"? Oh i gotta go to my gf's hs graduation ceremony...WTF thats close to pedophilia to me...when she was 6 learning to ride a bike he was graduating and havng sex and drinking...Now if she was 25 him 37 different she wouldnt be a TEEN or atleast would have exp life a bit..but im staying out of it and watching it crumble. If it works then i was wrong but its a huge joke to me! Okay, I tried to stay out of this thread but I can see OP that you are really upset by this. So I will share this with you. One of my brothers left his wife for a woman 26 years old (he was 52). 26 years age gap. I knew that she was using him, but all I could do was sit back in agony and watch the misery unfold. Turns out, she cheated on him, and only used him to make contacts in her profession. Rather than alienate my brother, I did not express my disdain for the affair but just let it happen. My point: just relax (somehow) and let the events unfold as they will. I doubt that your brother will listen to you if you voiced your opinion. People have to make their own mistakes. It's just a fact of life. I am not saying this to be cruel or insensitive.
Green Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 the girl just graduated freaking highschool now come on thats a bit odd.."hey where you going"? Oh i gotta go to my gf's hs graduation ceremony...WTF thats close to pedophilia to me...when she was 6 learning to ride a bike he was graduating and havng sex and drinking...Now if she was 25 him 37 different she wouldnt be a TEEN or atleast would have exp life a bit..but im staying out of it and watching it crumble. If it works then i was wrong but its a huge joke to me! WAKE UP IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME! You do realize a lot worse things happen to 18-19 year old girls then dating your brother. You do relize that they can apear in gang bang pornos ect... You are going to lose your brother over the fact that you are worried about some random 19 year old girl... who your brother likes... geez man get some perspective
Author juniperjo Posted May 29, 2010 Author Posted May 29, 2010 WAKE UP IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME! You do realize a lot worse things happen to 18-19 year old girls then dating your brother. You do relize that they can apear in gang bang pornos ect... You are going to lose your brother over the fact that you are worried about some random 19 year old girl... who your brother likes... geez man get some perspective How bout you go somewhere else with your thoughts! your probably one of this creepo guys that prey on niave teens!
BS76 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 High five your brother for getting a younger girlfriend. It'll drive all the women his age up the wall and get them trying to shame him to date someone their age. You'll see things like them calling him "creepy" or "dirty" and garbage like that. It's just sour grapes/envy and funny as hell IMO. Just tell him to be smart and not to let himself get taken advantage of, which seems to be the OP's biggest concern. Judging from what she wrote she has valid concerns, but perhaps the brother is in the know and is just riding things out as long as they're having fun and things are good? I've been there and it works as long as it does and when it stops then it's no big deal. He just has to keep his wits and have a clear mind about these things.
Green Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 How bout you go somewhere else with your thoughts! your probably one of this creepo guys that prey on niave teens! Dude your the biggest creep I've heard described in this thread. You are so worried about "My brother is robbing the cradle" you are blinde to everything else. Seriously are you going to go around calling every one out who does this... because at this point you show your own brother less respect than a stranger. Do you seriously have no respect for yourself? You are the same age as this girl yet you seem to feel superior why is that? If any one is a creep I would say it is some one like you who goes around judging himself and his family for stuff that is out of his control. Go get a gf if you can and stop worrying about your brothers gf.
Citizen Erased Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 OP sounds jealous his brother is finding girls his age. Jealous maybe?
legallyblonde289 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 OP sounds jealous his brother is finding girls his age. Jealous maybe? OPs a girl, so i dont think its jealousy.
Ross PK Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 the girl just graduated freaking highschool now come on thats a bit odd.."hey where you going"? Oh i gotta go to my gf's hs graduation ceremony...WTF thats close to pedophilia to me...when she was 6 learning to ride a bike he was graduating and havng sex and drinking...Now if she was 25 him 37 different she wouldnt be a TEEN or atleast would have exp life a bit..but im staying out of it and watching it crumble. If it works then i was wrong but its a huge joke to me! She's an A-D-U-L-T, a woman, not pre pubesant.
Citizen Erased Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 OPs a girl, so i dont think its jealousy. Well I was way off.
Green Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 OPs a girl, so i dont think its jealousy. No, he is a boy who acts like a girl. I even called him out on it by saying you do realize calling guys creepy is a girl thing. Yes he is jelouse even though he won't admit it
Jersey Shortie Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 Yes, Juniper is a girl so I don't get the "jealous" comments. Even if Juniper was a guy, I don't see jealously. For all the fellas getting their boxers in a bunch trying to call the OP “jealous” . I think the truth is some of the guys here are relating to the 32 year old brother who just smokes weed, clearly has no direction and plays xbox dating teengirls. Lets look at the facts as described by the OP. Everyone can see there are clearly issues. Facts by Juniper: 1.....she doesnt even have a car or job. 2. She has about 100 guy friends in her phone that she texts constantly. 3...this girl has family issues and was kicked out of her parents home..... 4. She looks 12 she has a flat chest and a long pointy nose....besides her looks isnt the issue its that my brother has his own issues he shouldnt involve a barely legal girl in his life til he gets his own straight. I feel he is taking advantage of her inexpirience and is ruining her youth. 5. He is a homebody and she is a social bug...its like oil and water. 6. He cant talk to other girls or text them as friends she flips out but its okay she does with other guys. 7. He never finished college and just got his own place after living with me and mom for 5 years and has alot of issues. 8. he looks maybe 27-28 she looks 15-16 you know how teens dress, shes into partying and drinking he hasnt drank in years. she likes country music he likes rap/classic rock..he is atheist and she is full blown christian.... 9. he just got clean from a drug addiction and if she breaks his heart i see him spiraling back into that life. Im just concerned for both. 10. I talked to the girls mom and she was having sex at 13 smoking weed and drinking too...So she moved with the grandparents and they couldnt handle her she moved out with a friend until they had it out she found my brother a great escape and a free car and a place to live in my eyes. 11. As for my brother he acts immature himself with his addiction to his xbox games and weed. For the haters calling the OP "jealous", they are just talking about their own insecurities here. They rather focus on the fact that a 32 year old man is banging a 19 year old and giving him props for such a big accomplishment (sarcasm), then look at the facts. Anyone with any common sense can see there are major issues here that the OP has a right to be concerned about.
Green Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 No, he is a boy who acts like a girl. I even called him out on it by saying you do realize calling guys creepy is a girl thing. Yes he is jelouse even though he won't admit it hmmm this explains a lot it is a girl... I missed the post about "I'm 20 and I know I'm not going to be the same girl in 5 years"... I still say she is jelouse that 30 year old men arn't after her
legallyblonde289 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 No, he is a boy who acts like a girl. I even called him out on it by saying you do realize calling guys creepy is a girl thing. Yes he is jelouse even though he won't admit it she said she knows she wont be the same girl in 5 years... nvm. just saw your last post.
legallyblonde289 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 hmmm this explains a lot it is a girl... I missed the post about "I'm 20 and I know I'm not going to be the same girl in 5 years"... I still say she is jelouse that 30 year old men arn't after her i dont know when i was 20 and i got hit on by men in their 30s i thought they were creepy. but everyones different. i think its more she thinks guys in their 30s that try to get with 19 year olds are creepy and is ashamed that her brother is one of them. and before i get attacked i know that not everyone thinks its creepy, but some do an OP is one of them.
Jersey Shortie Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 hmmm this explains a lot it is a girl... I missed the post about "I'm 20 and I know I'm not going to be the same girl in 5 years"... I still say she is jelouse that 30 year old men arn't after her I got to say Green, you sound quite silly and as if you are taking this situation and the Op's opinion on it personally. You really that dead set on protecting the self interests of men who want to bang 19 year old girls that are 32 instead of really looking at the situation. Which anyone with a brain can see is issue filled. And she is right, people change vastly between the ages of 18-25.
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