Cristoforo Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Ok, there was this girl I had the biggest crush on for a while and I finally got the courage to ask her out. This was last Tuesday. She said yes but said that the week wasn't good for her but maybe Friday or Sunday. I, being an idiot, neglected to tell her that I had prior obligations all weekend and couldn't get out of them. I just told her I'd give her a call. Plus, she works at my gym and I see her all the time. The weekend came and went and I failed to call her until Sunday night and I got her voicemail and asked her if maybe she wanted to get a drink sometime this week. I told her she didn't have to call back because I'd see her the next day and we'd talk about it then. That day came and I didn't see her. I saw her yesterday and she smiled real big when she saw me and I asked her if she got my message and she said she had, but didn't get it until Monday night because she left her phone somewhere. She then proceeded to tell me that weekdays aren't good for her because she works and then she has to train (she does fitness/figure competitions) for a big show that is coming up soon. We talked for a minute about how intense her training was. She said she would still like to get coffee sometime though. Me, making another idiotic move, told her that I understood she was busy and told her to let me know when she has some free time. I then walked away. I later realized that she said nothing about being busy on the weekends and it was two weekend days that she initially suggested we get together. So now I have no clue what to think. Is she now telling me she's not interested? If she wasn't interested, why would she mention something about still getting coffee and why would she only specify that she was booked up on weekdays? Then I feel like if she was interested, wouldn't she have suggested the weekends or another day? But then again, maybe that's the guys job to coordinate it? Maybe she's not as straight forward as other girls and likes the guy to do the work? So what can I do to salvage this? Is she not interested or is she playing hard to get? Should I call her up and try to arrange a date on the weekend sometime? I feel like if she wanted nothing to do with me, she wouldn't have mentioned getting coffee still, and would have just said she's busy all the time and not just on weekdays. I'm confused. I feel like I should just call her and let her know that I'm really interested in taking her out and if she can do it on the weekends. Good idea? Bad idea? I really don't care if I blew it at this point, I have nothing to lose.
Ronni_W Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 So now I have no clue what to think. Is she now telling me she's not interested? No, you big...clueless person She's waiting for you to ask her out for a weekend day! Please note that if you keep just making "idiotic moves" that leave you looking like a flake, it's not that women are going to be "rejecting" you...it's that they'll just not know what to make of you, and will become confused and exasperated and just give up. That is, don't turn the consequences of your "idiotic moves" into their "rejection" of you. Your esteem and confidence will suffer, and you'll start to become bitter and resentful towards women when you (your "idiotic moves") are the source of the problems.
Author Cristoforo Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 These idiotic moves of mine are due to the fact that I've been out of the dating game for almost 6 years. I had a bad breakup from a 4 and half year relationship and I know that now I'm ready to start dating and seeing other women. I'm just clueless and have no clue what I'm doing and if I'm doing the right things. Please, someone help me with some dating/pursuing women protocol!
marsle85 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Nope, she wants you to. Call her. You're a dope, haha.
Ronni_W Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Please, someone help me with some dating/pursuing women protocol! It's tough. One thing you can try to practice is to relax enough so that you take the time to process what she's just said...before you open your mouth again. (This assumes that you are already listening attentively.) I mean, don't let there be globs of airspace between her sentences and yours...but if you take a split-second to digest the new info you just received from her, then it will reduce these kinds of instances. And rest assured you will not be faulted for thinking! Listening includes thinking before you respond. Like I said, though, as long as you don't come across like you're pondering. It'll take a bit of practice, is all. There's also nothing wrong with going back, in a timely manner, and saying something like, "I missed the opportunity to ask you out for Sunday -- are you free then?" Again, though, you don't want to make this a habit...cos then it'll come across that you're not too often listening in the first place. Best of luck.
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