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Posted

I was broken up with over the phone 1 week ago. We dated for 4 months. We're both 30 years old and looking for someone to marry, not a fling.

 

The 1st month was great, but everything after became a small argument. We never argued about anything that serious though. Just small stuff. I interpret small arguments as debates - a getting to know you phase. I guess they made her a little uncomfortable.

 

I've tried to apologize with flowers, a note, and a nice gesture. I didn't push that hard since I know it's the "pushing" that drives women away for good.

 

She said she wanted a few weeks to sort things out in her head and wanted me to take the time to reflect on my life.

 

I love her so I'm happy to give her the space, but I'm scared about how she feels. We both admitted a while back that we loved each other, but some of my bonehead moves might have shaken that.

 

I accept that my attitude and actions caused the rift between us.

 

Here's the thing, I recently lost my job, had some financial issues, my apartment is under construction from outside damage, and I also had a bad health scare. All these things happened while I was dating her so it caused a monumental amount of stress for me. Now I lost my girlfriend. Things are definitely rough. Life's stresses made me act a little out of character. I usually handle stress quite well, but this amount has taken a toll.

 

I bet you might interpret the above and think here's a loser. But I used to be on top of the world. I was making well over 6 figures, perfect health, good family, gorgeous condo. I'm just having a rough patch...

 

Anyways, I'm giving her the space she asked for, but do completely ignore her upcoming birthday?

 

Thanks for reading. I could use some support.

Posted

I wouldn't suggest ignoring it completely. She may take it the wrong way. Perhaps do as she says. Focus on your own life and just send a brief birthday message to acknowledge the fact. Maybe post a birthday card to her with a few well chosen words.

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Posted

She said she needed a few weeks to sort everything out in her head. Should I contact her in a few weeks or should wait for her to reach out to me?

 

She may never reach out to me and I don't think I could handle that. We didn't end things on hateful terms. She knows I love her. She's extremely sensitive so seeing me or hearing from me would definitely jolt her memory. In fact, I never should have allowed a phone break up. I should have driven over to her place. It's much too personal to handle on the phone.

 

Is that manipulative or do some people just need a little reminder?

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