Kris30 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Is it a good thing or bad thing when a guy sends you a lot of messages? I've started talking to someone and he sends me a lot of messages. Getting to know type stuff and also some thinking of you type of stuff. He sends me more messages than I send him (probably 2-4 for every 1 I send). I want to be careful and I want to make sure its not necessarily a red flag...
Green Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 He is obviously interested, you just need to ask yourself if you like the guy and want to give him a chance. I for the most part have never online dated though... and if I did I wouldn't send a bunch of msgs to a girl.. I would just ask her out... to meet in real life at a coffee shop or something... because after all when you meet people on the internet it just adds the extra step of having to meet in real life.
Author Kris30 Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 Thanks. So what about calling me "sweetheart" in messages and stuff like that? Sweet? Or weird? I want to try to be careful. Sometimes when it seems too good to be true, it is...
Knittress Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Some guys go through the motions of talking to you like you're closer than you are in order to build rapport. It isn't an evil plot, though it always strikes me as a trifle manipulative when someone does it to me. (I personally find it annoying.) He probably just wants you to like him - the reasons for which you can't speculate on until you've gotten to know him a bit more.
FitChick Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 He's probably been dismissed or ignored by so many rude women online that he's thrilled to find someone he likes who actually likes him back. Talk to him on the phone a few times to decide if you want to meet.
Philetus Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Have you actually met him? If he's calling you 'sweetheart' and you haven't, I'd find that odd. Assuming you have met him, it sounds like he's really infatuated with you. That kind of thing can burn out quickly if you 'give it up' too early, if you get me. My assumption, as a guy, is that if the messages are sweet and not creepy, it's likely a positive thing. Can I ask you a question? Are you less interested in him because he sends you so many messages? Do you enjoy reading his notes?
Author Kris30 Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 Yes, I do enjoy reading his notes and I personally am not at all turned off by the attention. No, we have not yet met IRL.
Billzebub Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 It sounds like he might be a little needy/clingy. I say this having ben guilty of it myself in the past.
Author Kris30 Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 Actually, I find his messages much more interesting than the messages I often get that just say, "What's up" and things like that. Why does wanting to find a special someone to share life with always make one clingy or needy?
alphamale Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Is it a good thing or bad thing when a guy sends you a lot of messages? ... generally its a bad thing
brainygirl Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I'm a heavy messenger. But I'm a girl. I wouldn't read much into it unless he was texting when you've told him you are busy or sleeping.
sagetalk Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Is it a good thing or bad thing when a guy sends you a lot of messages? I've started talking to someone and he sends me a lot of messages. Getting to know type stuff and also some thinking of you type of stuff. He sends me more messages than I send him (probably 2-4 for every 1 I send). I want to be careful and I want to make sure its not necessarily a red flag... You're letting him do this? Most of the girls I've talked to online will cut you off after making one tiny mistake. This guys making huge ones.
mortensorchid Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 That does sound desperate to me the more I read about this. I had one guy who must have checked my profile at least ten times everyday, plus I had another who seemed to just miss me by a few minutes. He would send an email a minute or two after I had just signed off asking if I wanted to talk. I responded to him saying that I was sorry I had just missed him, but I had disabled the IM on the sight as it made my computer crash. He never gave me his phone number or anything, but would continue to send me more messages this way. He started to annoy me, he continued to send me them long after I started ignoring him. Eventually I blocked him. Just some food for thought.
Philetus Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Yes, I do enjoy reading his notes and I personally am not at all turned off by the attention. No, we have not yet met IRL. Then your replies are likely encouraging him to continue, or at least not discouraging the attention. Obviously, I can't see the content he's sending, or exactly what's going on between you two, but it sounds like he's truly infatuated with you. If you like being doted on, it's likely a good thing. I am troubled by the use of words like, 'sweetheart' when you haven't met yet. That's very familiar but, like I said, I don't know the exact content of his notes. However.. if you like him and like the attention I'd proceed slowly if I were you. Allow the relationship to deepen (so it's not just lust) before having sex. Having sex too soon could kill that infatuation dead.
xRJ85x Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 It all depends on how you feel about him. Some girls like different levels of interest from a guy. I generally write one big email with different topics in it, and we trade that back and forth. As far as calling you sweetheart, I would use compliments for a girl before I met her, but generally it freaks girls out a little, so I refrain from doing it.
crimsonmike Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I wouldn't read too much into it. I call most women I talk to "hon," "sugar," "sweetie," ect. I'm just kinda flirty like that. Maybe he is too. He's obviously interested, and if you are too, I don't see the problem. If you meet him and he is too clingy/needy, just tell him to back off some. No need to look for a problem before there is one, IMO.
Author Kris30 Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 Alright, I told him he was coming on too strong and to back up a little... I like him, but felt like it was a bit too much. We'll see. So far he is sending me less messages.
FitChick Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 He might just totally back off altogether figuring there are plenty of fish.
carhill Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 No, we have not yet met IRL. Get that done. All the rest is electrons and give it no mind..... if he's whispering sweet nothings and not taking you out on a *date*, why bother?
Author Kris30 Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 He might just totally back off altogether figuring there are plenty of fish. LOL... Pun not intended? Anyway, he's not messaging me at all now... Thats not what I wanted, either!
crimsonmike Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 LOL... Pun not intended? Anyway, he's not messaging me at all now... Thats not what I wanted, either! Well..........text him and tell him. Women so seldom actually say what they mean, many men assume any negative feedback is walking papers.
Author Kris30 Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 Get that done. All the rest is electrons and give it no mind..... if he's whispering sweet nothings and not taking you out on a *date*, why bother? Well, I did tell him I was being careful. He offered to give me his # to protect me from giving mine to a stranger. I explained I would rather him call me. He said he would be happy to, but didn't directly ask for my #. I think he's afraid of freaking me out, but doesn't get that what he was doing is what was a little too much. I want him to get my #, call me, maybe ask me out. I don't want him acting weird. How do I get him to get that??!
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