Art_Critic Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 (edited) over 30 to me impies DNA dumpster lol Let's say that you have 2 relationships a year.. that is one every 6 months for 15 years and say you are 22 years of age but started being sexually active at 18. You do realize that by the age of 33 your numbers will be in the 30's ? or adjust the numbers for 1-2 a year.. same basic numbers IHNI... you are bing judgmental and are not even considering what your own numbers will be in 15 years .. Life has a way of going forward and so do your own numbers... Edited May 26, 2010 by Art_Critic
laRubiaBonita Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Life has a way of going forward and so do your own numbers... that would be what ones hopes though!
Ihavenoidea Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Let's say that you have 2 relationships a year.. that is one every 6 months for 15 years and say you are 22 years of age but started being sexually active at 18. You do realize that by the age of 33 your numbers will be in the 30's ? or adjust the numbers for 1-2 a year.. same basic numbers IHNI... you are bing judgmental and are not even considering what your own numbers will be in 15 years .. Life has a way of going forward and so do your own numbers... You do realize that this is a mathmatical calculation. Ajust the number to 1-2 what a silly statment. You do realize that 2 sexual partners a year is not the "standard" so assuming that it is there is no way that this information is in any viable. Im ot being judgmenal because in 15 years I can almost garantee that they still wont be over 10 partners, considering I may be married within another year or so . My relationships dont last 6 months but thanks for trying The only one judging is you
donnamaybe Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 The only one judging is you Well, that's not true at all. Art is merely trying to give you a less than narrow minded perspective to think about.
Crazy Magnet Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Let's say that you have 2 relationships a year.. that is one every 6 months for 15 years and say you are 22 years of age but started being sexually active at 18. You do realize that by the age of 33 your numbers will be in the 30's ? or adjust the numbers for 1-2 a year.. same basic numbers IHNI... you are bing judgmental and are not even considering what your own numbers will be in 15 years .. Life has a way of going forward and so do your own numbers... Oh my gosh YES!! If you asked me what I thought "a lot" of sexual partners was at 18 or 24 I would have said the number I'm at now! Back then I would have thought 5 was a bunch. I forgot to factor in the fact that I was going to be single at 30. But if I look back over the last 14 years, there has still been no casual sex, ONS, FWB type things going on. I tried casual once last year to see if I could handle it, I soooo couldn't handle it (as in I can't detach from sex enough to not connect sex with love) so I decided not to do that again. I've never come across a double standard of how much is too much in my own life b/c I never discuss my number. I would ask why anyone even talks about it except.... My boyfriend recently told me he knows how many people each of his ex gfs has had (except one who was so casual with sex outside of relationships he never had the balls to ask b/c he really didn't want to know where all she had been.) and that it has randomly come up in conversation over the course of the relationship. That in itself it strange to me. To me, people that talk about it all the time in their relationships self perpetuate the double standard. My sexual past is no one's business but my own. I don't talk to anyone I've slept with anymore, I'm regularly tested for STDs and I'm clean. What else is relevant to my current relationship?
Ihavenoidea Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 You are also basing your calulations off what. People tend to need time after a break up so by your calculations i would date for about 4 months, 1 month to regroup, 1 month to find someone then rinse and repeat. No offense but F that i dont waste my time if we have only been together 4 months.
Art_Critic Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Im ot being judgmenal because in 15 years I can almost garantee that they still wont be over 10 partners, considering I may be married within another year or so . My relationships dont last 6 months but thanks for trying The only one judging is you .....
laRubiaBonita Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 You are also basing your calulations off what. People tend to need time after a break up so by your calculations i would date for about 4 months, 1 month to regroup, 1 month to find someone then rinse and repeat. and just because this is YOUR way of recovery, do not ascribe it to everyone.
Ihavenoidea Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 @laRubiaBonita, that was hypothetical, my point with that is there is no "standard" see below No offense to anyone else but if I ever came close to some of the numbers posted, it was because I was doing something wrong. Im not too far from turning 30 so you guys an have fun assuming people have 2 sexual partners a year and will have 30 something partners by the time they turn 30. Thats probably the worst way to justify and approach and many partners people "should" have. For me there really is no standard other than someone personal perference and other than that it shouldnt matter. I have my opinion and man people have others, hence the title of the thread
Art_Critic Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 and just because this is YOUR way of recovery, do not ascribe it to everyone. Good point... The other thing is that I only mentioned 15 years... well what about 30 years later when my calculation would put someone at 48 years of age.. Trust me.. your numbers go up as life goes on.. and if they don't then you are in a great marriage...
Crazy Magnet Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Because its gross I'll bet you're fun in bed. I bet he's my ex who had that view and was TRAGIC in bed. My ex was the only guy who was overly concerned with the number of partners I had been with and he regularly mentioned how he thought his ex wife had only been with one other guy and that was one of the reasons he married her (turns out she had been with a lot more and he never got over it). Odd, because he slept AROUND! Still though, why are you people discussing your numbers within relationships???
Art_Critic Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 No offense to anyone else but if I ever came close to some of the numbers posted, it was because I was doing something wrong. Life sometimes has a way of letting you know that you can't predict the future... While we all love to think that marriage is forever, the reality is that it isn't.. My first wife I divorced for reasons that were not under my control.. so therefore I didn't do something wrong.. and most couples who wind up in a divorce there is one side of that coin that would say they didn't do something wrong..
donnamaybe Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I bet he's my ex who had that view and was TRAGIC in bed. ? Like I alluded to earlier, that's probably WHY he was concerned with your numbers. He knew you had something to compare him to.
Ihavenoidea Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Good point... The other thing is that I only mentioned 15 years... well what about 30 years later when my calculation would put someone at 48 years of age.. Trust me.. your numbers go up as life goes on.. and if they don't then you are in a great marriage... I can agree that they will increase for most people in my case they wont increase at the rate you mentioned perhaps for others it could be more or less. But you are still implying that if you are unmarried or in a bad marriage people go around sleeping with everyone they date. My brother is 37 and hasnt had sex for probably about 8 years. By his choice. My point is it varies and cant be summed up in a simple calculation.
Art_Critic Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 You are also basing your calulations off what. dude.. my numbers weren't meant to be taken as some statistical analysis or something.. My numbers and scenario was presented to get you thinking.. Each person is different and has their own equation but the numbers always go up.. unless you are in a great marriage that lasts a lifetime.
xxJoyxx Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Ugh, this is so frustrating! Times have changed, people! I'm 21 years old, and have had relations with 20+ men and a few women. I've been sexually active since I was 16, so for 5 years. This doesn't mean that I am not interested in relationships. In fact, it's the opposite. The bulk of these numbers come from a period of 6 months, where I slept with a new guy every week or so. But I've been in a monogamous relationship for a year now, and it's wonderful. I haven't cheated, and have no interest in cheating. I'm a graduate student and am very well respected in my community. It's silly to dwell on the past. I had fun, and have zero regrets! It's shaped me into the person that I am today!
donnamaybe Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 My point is it varies and cant be summed up in a simple calculation. I think that's what Art was trying to say, perhaps.
Ihavenoidea Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 dude.. my numbers weren't meant to be taken as some statistical analysis or something.. My numbers and scenario was presented to get you thinking.. Each person is different and has their own equation but the numbers always go up.. unless you are in a great marriage that lasts a lifetime. Then we can agree. As far as the thread, I dont think there is anything really wrong with a woman who has a lot of partners. My last was 26 and had 28 partners. Kind of bothered me but i never let it get to me. I think most would agree that its personal preference. It could be 100 or the person could be a virgin it all dpends on what you want and what makes you happy. but yes art numbers to go up in time....at varying rates
FitChick Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Because I've never been married, I've had more sexual partners than most men I date who have been married for 15 or 20 years (unless they cheated). Some of them have felt threatened. I am middle-aged so even having one man every year or two years, the numbers do get big. If someone was twenty-five years younger with that number it might be a different story.
Author MrNate Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 Because I've never been married, I've had more sexual partners than most men I date who have been married for 15 or 20 years (unless they cheated). Some of them have felt threatened. I am middle-aged so even having one man every year or two years, the numbers do get big. If someone was twenty-five years younger with that number it might be a different story. It's all good fitchick. You're not in a relationship anyway, so keep yourself sexed to your heart's content.
GoodOnPaper Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I don't necessarily view the high-number woman as "wrong". Being a low-number male, it's the imbalance of experience that would get to me. It is highly unlikely that I would compare well to most of her past partners and I wouldn't like knowing that she could find a new partner at the drop of a hat while it would take me months or years.
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