pureinheart Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I have no clue what the statistics are on this, and i am too lazy to look it up; but in my experience that simply is not true. I think more marriages survive infidelity than those that do not, at least for five or more years. I think it is generally a second or third act of infidelity or something else altogether that breaks up the marriage not the first case of infidelity. I bet the guys are more willing to take the ladies back ....
pureinheart Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 (edited) Him not being as vigilant as me at deleting text messages.... He made his choice, let him live with it, and don't play his game...I tell you, that is one thing I told exDM that if he EVER did that to me, I'd never talk to him again under any circumstances....I'd know if he was waiting for the dust to settle. In fact it was me telling him I needed my space. Edited May 27, 2010 by pureinheart
Tommy's Girl Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Why is it always that is "missing something"? What about sometimes people want to have it all, yet they are not "missing" anything. I agree with this. So many people here say something is missing in your marriage in order to have an affair. The truth is if you don't set boundaries in your marriage, anyone can be tempted. If you decide to play with fire for the sake of playing with fire, there will be consequences. Some people can handle it and others can't. It does not always revolve around something missing in your marriage. Sometimes people just seek attention and approval from others for whatever reason. Others do want their cake and eat it too. A little off subject, but I read a quote from Heidi Klum last week. It had a huge impact on my way of thinking. It was regarding her relationship with Seal. She said, "I don't flirt with other men. It's disrespectful to my husband." She has set her boundary. Married men and woman think flirting is harmless, but it isn't harmless to your spouse. It is disrespectful. I've always been a flirtatious person before I was married and after. I've decided that it just isn't a good for me anymore. Who'd a thunk I'd learn from Heidi Klum?
Spark1111 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I agree with this. So many people here say something is missing in your marriage in order to have an affair. The truth is if you don't set boundaries in your marriage, anyone can be tempted. If you decide to play with fire for the sake of playing with fire, there will be consequences. Some people can handle it and others can't. It does not always revolve around something missing in your marriage. Sometimes people just seek attention and approval from others for whatever reason. Others do want their cake and eat it too. A little off subject, but I read a quote from Heidi Klum last week. It had a huge impact on my way of thinking. It was regarding her relationship with Seal. She said, "I don't flirt with other men. It's disrespectful to my husband." She has set her boundary. Married men and woman think flirting is harmless, but it isn't harmless to your spouse. It is disrespectful. I've always been a flirtatious person before I was married and after. I've decided that it just isn't a good for me anymore. Who'd a thunk I'd learn from Heidi Klum? Obviously, Heid Klum has it all and isn't missing anything, or blaming anyone for her life circumstances. She protects it! Smart, smart lady.
Author secretlady76 Posted May 27, 2010 Author Posted May 27, 2010 I will carry on being normal as usual. I am not interested in playing games and won't. Having a terrible day emotionally today. All over the place. Felt like or have been crying most of the day, although days like these are becoming more and more infrequent (Thanks God). The sooner I don't bump into him anymore the better. I think it just confuses the mind, hence why I am trying my hardest to avoid such situations.
MizFit Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I agree with this. So many people here say something is missing in your marriage in order to have an affair. The truth is if you don't set boundaries in your marriage, anyone can be tempted. If you decide to play with fire for the sake of playing with fire, there will be consequences. Some people can handle it and others can't. It does not always revolve around something missing in your marriage. Sometimes people just seek attention and approval from others for whatever reason. Others do want their cake and eat it too. A little off subject, but I read a quote from Heidi Klum last week. It had a huge impact on my way of thinking. It was regarding her relationship with Seal. She said, "I don't flirt with other men. It's disrespectful to my husband." She has set her boundary. Married men and woman think flirting is harmless, but it isn't harmless to your spouse. It is disrespectful. I've always been a flirtatious person before I was married and after. I've decided that it just isn't a good for me anymore. Who'd a thunk I'd learn from Heidi Klum? I disagree...I think that unless the WS is a plain garden variety serial cheater then there is something missing. I am not saying the BS is to blame or allowing the void, but I do think for the average person to stray there is something that has allowed the marriage to be vulnerable. I love that with Heidi...I'm really glad you shared it because it is so very true.
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