almsolitarie Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 My ex broke up with me to start dating a workmate. After three months of seeing her (just when we split up) they are moving together, he is 35 and he never lived with anyone before. After we broke up, I found out that he was seeing her on my back trying to get her. I told him I knew about him moving on with this girl and that I was happy for him, but I couldn't tell him I knew he was cheating. He answered it wasn't anyone's bussiness but him. This is the most painful experience I have ever had. Specially, I see him constantly in the swimming pool, it seems I bumped into him. The more I see him the angrier i get and since he never told me the truth - that I know - I have to "act" as if the split up was friendly. Will that relationship last? Why people do these things? Why is this so painful and I still can't move on!?
saudades Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 Well, my opinion is that the relationship will not last. The way I see it, if he cheated on you, there is nothing stopping him from cheating on her as well. I can't say why people do these things, but at the end of the day, you don't want someone like that in your life, do you? I don't think you owe him anything-- if I were you, I would let him know that I knew what had been going on. Now I can't say that's what you should do, but I know I'd be so angry I couldn't hold it in--but you're obviously a bit more mature than I am and finally, it hurts because you loved him and he lied to you and hurt you. It wouldn't be normal if you were not very upset. And as bad as it is now, it will get better. Even though I'm sure these few months have seemed unbearably long, it really hasn't been that long since the split. Give yourself a chance to heal-- focus on yourself, do something you've always wanted to do, etc. In the end, you must ask yourself why you would want to be with someone who does not treat you with the respect you deserve-- and you'll find that you don't. Good luck with everything, I hope it turns out for the best.
Author almsolitarie Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 thanks for the message. I wish that relationship doesn't last, and it is awful of me to say that, I shouldn't be this bitter and angry, but I can't help it and I can't find a way to express it. I don't think he knows how much he has hurt me, and he is hurting me. It is his dishonesty and the fact that he has been so impulsive to move in with this girl!! I have tried to put distance between us, I have even stopped going to the swimming pool at my normal hour!!, I made a big list of all the nasty things he did to me, he even charged me 1 pound and 7 pence once for a can of coke and a pint of milk after going to the supermarket because he said he wasn't responsible to feed me!!!! I do hope this anger dissapears and I can finally move on.
stillafool Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 I think you should have told him you knew he was cheating on you. Why spare his feelings, he didn't spare yours? Don't spend time wondering and hoping they will break up but spend your time trying to make you happy. You don't have to be friendly with him either as that will tear you apart. You are not being yourself when you treat him the way you don't feel. Do what you need to do to get over him.
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