seren Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I had a very surreal day today, I went into the city for shoe shopping and who should I literally bump into but H's XOW. Now, she was 150 miles from our old home town, seems she has a brother nearby, she was pushing her new grandbaby in a pram. After the initial shock at seeing each other for the first time in 2 and a half years, I smiled, said hi didn't expect to see you again. XOW looks scared, equally shocked. I fuss baby (love them) and we share a mutual adoring of the lovely child. I ask how she is, she says good, her M is getting better (someone told her H about her A's). For a brief moment we are just two people admiring a baby from the same home town. Then she asks after me, all good I tell her, life is pretty dammed fine. THEN she asks after H, oh, oh a none of your dammed business comes to mind first, then a, he is great, we are great. She then goes on to say that she is sorry, that during the A all H did was talk about me and my accomplishments and that what started out as a friendship between them crossed the line. I ask, did you ever think you and he would be together, no she says, H obviously loved you, but I hoped he would. I found myself feeling so very sorry for all of us. I wished her well, she me and off I went to buy shoes. As an aside I think our meeting prompted the purchase of totally unwearable red sparkly shoes, but there you go. My sparkly shoes got me thinking that I felt like Dorothy on reaching Kansas after the whole tornado, Oz thing. D Day being the house lifting, witch on a bike, being dumped in a weird place. The end of the A when the house got dumped on the witch (sorry OW) R being the whole munchkin surreal stuff, then following the yellow brick road, meeting others on the way (LS, other forums) until the whole madness and turmoil stage ends with the heel clicking, the no more of this and the needing to find home and a safe place again. So from Kansas (Oxford) I ask, what stage of the journey are you on? Me and H have established boundaries and taken steps to ensure that as far as we can make it, our M is tornado proof - no more hiding in the root cellar when the first winds gather. I am glad for OW that she has found joy, I feel we have all come full circle and while the tornado has picked up my world, spun me around, dumped me in unfamiliar territory, I have also found that my house has strong foundations, weathered the storm and is stronger as a result. This is just me rambling on, but I strangely felt like stapling the A box in my head firmly shut and putting it in the garage. Not even sure I am asking anything, just sharing random thoughts (I blame pain chemicals). Hoping your tornados have all blown out.
JAGeezer Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 That was, quite possibly, the best "off the cuff" analogy for an A I've ever seen. Congratulations! You sound like you're in a very healthy place. More power to you. I hope that all of your trust and hard work continues to pay off for the rest of your life. JAG
MizFit Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Seren...just to start this with kudos and a hug for you being where you are right now. In your analogy you need to remember that Elphaba, The Wicked Witch of the West, actually was an OW...she loved Fiyero, the Scarecrow, but eventually let him go because her friend, Galinda, was in love with him. He eventually realized he loved Elphaba and helped her escape. One of the saddest songs is from that show...I'm Not That Girl. 'Don't wish, don't start...wishing only wounds the heart' I love The Wizard of Oz...I actually call my mm Fiyero and he calls me Elphie. More than anything I want you to know how happy I am your tornado has blown by!
Spark1111 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Seren, feel the same way with one exception: the OW in my sitch was not kindly, or apologetic, or even healed in ways I thought she would be by now. My imagination painted her with a much kinder brush than she maybe ever deserved. So be it. But I too am turning a corner and once again feel safe and respected and calm. Really at peace once again after the tornado placed us back in Kansas. We are almost there!
aeh Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Seren, Loved it. What a wonderful story to wake up to today. Am feeling along your lines today. Have had two very good weeks. Have been able to close the door on a few things...as you said, put the A away and park it in the garage. You have no idea how appropriate hearing your story was and how that sums up some issues for me, too. Glad to hear it and so happy for you. Thank you.
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