You Go Girl Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 reboot: That's really what I mean. When I found out about my W's affair, 11 years after it'd started, I was crushed at first. But it didn't take long before I told her "if you'd been honest with me 11 years ago, I could have started over and had another family by now." But the cheater doesn't really want their BS 2 have choices, because if they really thought about it, they'd realize that they can lose everything. They certainly could lose their BS. And once the WS is free 2 be with the cheatee full-time, the very thing that sustained them all those years - the sneaking around - isn't necessary anymore and the relationship will likely end. No, it's better for the OP 2 string both women on indefinitely. (sarcastic mode most definitely ON) -ol' 2long That underlined above is the gist of the whole betrayal thing--some other person, as worthy of making their own choices in life as the cheater, stripped of their right to do so by lies, and years stolen from them. I wonder how cheaters would feel if someone just swooped down on them, and stole years from them? As in someone powerful enough to do so--like god, as an example (and only for example's sake) proclaimed to them--YOU ARE NOW 8 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU WERE YESTERDAY. In my not so humble opinion, to steal years of a person's limited life (as all our lives are limited) is the worst thing we can do to another person.
kuma Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 Contrary to the apparent norm, I would run off with the other woman tomorrow but she really does not want that. She also advises me that I have no idea what it is like to go through a divorce. She's right. You have no idea . Your wife's world will turn upside down. To be honest your lack of guilt about your wife is pretty upsetting. You say she isn't the love of your life. Why didn't you leave 40 years ago? Please stop pretending to be a loving husband. Ignore her, don't kiss her, don't touch her. Show your true colors. Your wife may get the hint and stop loving you. The bottom line: Stop taking advantage of her love. Don't waste another minute of her precious time. It's not your time. It's hers. p.s. Your OW is depressed. Sex is the last thing on her mind. Respect her wish or you'll lose her.
Cinnamon2000 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I have been married for 41 years and have three daughters and four grandsons. My wife was the first woman that I was ever with and yes we had to get married as they used to say. She is a wonderful mother and wife but it was never a love of your life situation. ???? How aobut your wife's choice? How come you deny her to make any decision in this? How come you continue to cheat and lie. You need to tell your wife the truth and let her make her decision too.
michelangelo Posted May 31, 2010 Posted May 31, 2010 reboot: That's really what I mean. When I found out about my W's affair, 11 years after it'd started, I was crushed at first. But it didn't take long before I told her "if you'd been honest with me 11 years ago, I could have started over and had another family by now." But the cheater doesn't really want their BS 2 have choices, because if they really thought about it, they'd realize that they can lose everything. They certainly could lose their BS. And once the WS is free 2 be with the cheatee full-time, the very thing that sustained them all those years - the sneaking around - isn't necessary anymore and the relationship will likely end. No, it's better for the OP 2 string both women on indefinitely. (sarcastic mode most definitely ON) -ol' 2long This is so tragically true for many of us. The theft of time by the cheater is cowardly and cruel. OP? Divorce your wife and move on. Free her of your deception. That other woman? She doesn't want you like you think.
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