Boyfriend Travelling - Didn't Contact Me.

[Binoo123]

This is regarding my boyfriends' lack of communication while he's away travelling.

He'll be coming home soon. He's been gone for nearly a month.

In that time he has not made any effort to e-mail me, call me or send a postcard.

He updates his Facebook page daily [ sometimes several times a day ]. Usually he's just posting photos of his trip.

I'm very glad to see that he's doing well and he's having fun.

However, I don't see why in the entire month he couldn't have taken the time to write me.

Sure, an e-mail once a day would have been awesome but I understand that's not realistic when he's got planned activities during his travels.

But once a week, just a simple e-mail..."Hey, how are you. Today I did this. Miss you. Bye." is not a lot to ask.

He has easy access to his laptop. He's on it everyday, sometimes more than once.

Why in this past month have I received NO contact from him? He hasn't said hello. Nothing. He never responded to the e-mail I sent him nearly a month ago.

To be honest, during this time there have been days where I've just been ready to give up. I've even got a breakup letter written.

I was planning to leave it here at the apartment and pack my things and leave. I have a friend I can stay with.

I know this is an immature thing to do but I figure I've gone a month without seeing him, without hearing from him. Maybe this is the best way for me to leave.

Although I miss him, I find that over time I miss him less and less because I've had no contact with him at all. It's as though he's removed himself from my life. I'm getting used to him not being here.

Do I really want to leave him? No. It breaks my heart to think of it. But I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say.

I would feel awful if he came back and he did not receive a happy welcome home. I'd feel bad if the first thing I said when he walked in the door after a month apart is, "Why the hell didn't you write? Do you have any idea how crappy that made me feel?"

But I just feel like if I see him I won't be able to look him in the eye. There's no excuse why he couldn't have written me AT ALL while he was away.

When I travelling without him for a month I e-mailed him several times a day. I called. I wrote.

I don't think 2 minutes out of his week would have been monopolizing his time.

For all he knows I could be dead. I haven't had any activity on my Facebook page and he's not even wondering how I am or anything like that.

I feel like he didn't miss me. I know, I know he's travelling the world and it's exciting. But after a month he still hasn't even said hello to me?

I feel horrible. I feel worthless and unimportant. I'm shocked that this is how he's behaving. I didn't expect it.

I guess I'm writing this because he's coming home soon and I need to make a decision.

Do I leave him the note and leave? Or do I tell him when he gets home how he made me feel? If you were him would you be angry that I'm upset and would you consider me selfish?

I have an amazing opportunity right now which I've set aside to be with him. I was supposed to be living in England for two years.

My visa expires September 2011.

I'll admit I am an escapist which is kind of why I wanted to go to England to begin with [ aside from just plain loving the country ].

I planned this long before I met my boyfriend. By the time we started dating my flight was coming up fast. He wished I would stay. I told him I would go for a month to clear my head [ lots of problems in this city that I needed to get away from ] and I would be back in a month.

I kept in such close touch, it was ridiculous. I don't expect him to put as much time into it as I did but something, ANYTHING would have been better than nothing at all.

I have no money saved. But as soon as I get some, I have a choice. I can go back to England and make use of this visa.

Or I can try to work things out with my boyfriend.

I feel torn. I want to be with this guy. But whether he really wants to be with me or not is up for debate. I sure don't feel like he's taking me seriously right now.

But what is there to say? How can this be resolved? This problem cannot be taken back.

He'll be leaving again 15 days after he gets back home to go visit a friend. He'll only be gone a week. I don't expect any contact from him because he'll be visiting with someone and it's not a long time to be away.

I fear if I bring up this issue he'll think I'm being controlling and think I expect him to keep in touch all hours of the day.

What should I say, if anything? Should I just suck it up and not mention it at all?

Should I write the letter and be done with the whole thing or try to talk things out?

I don't know how he'll react to me saying I wish he would have taken just a moment out of his week to contact me.

What if he gets angry and thinks I'm selfish? What if he regrets coming home?

Uggh, I don't know what to do...

[sarah1268]

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My bf for 3 months before he went to America for 2 weeks with his best mate. I didnt hear a single word from him for two weeks and i was devo, and he even went on facebook and didnt try to contact me at all. I didnt know what to think. By the end of the two weeks I was pretty sure he didnt care about me at all. The day he came back, while at the airport he called me saying how much he missed me and for me to come over asap. I was so cut, when i told him about it he was like omg Im so sorry i really didnt think you would care that much, and i did miss you so much. I still was a little cautious, especially cuz he bought me heaps of gifts (guilty much?)

 

Things went back to being normal, he is being a great bf.. But still you situation seems dismal at best, over a month with no contact! That just plain rude! I gave my bf so much grief for not talking to me for two weeks. It seems like he is more interested in travelling than in you.

[Els]

To be very honest, technology screws up sometimes. He COULD have left you an email, or a text, or a postcard... it just didn't get through. And with your lack of reply he might have mistakenly assumed that you were either busy or just not interested in LD communication while he was away. I'm not saying this definitely happened, but it's a possibility. Why didn't you just send HIM a facebook message or such instead of wallowing away all this month?

 

Also, I'm surprised the two of you didn't talk about how you'd communicate, or make arrangements, before he left.