Livelovelearn Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 so i have been recently moving on with my life as my ex had cheated on me and its been a lil over week since i have messaged him and he denied cheating on me. Yes i am starting no contact and missing him less but he does still appear on my mind especially at night. now i was thinking, back when we first broke up and i did something he didnt like (invade his email), and then begged him for his forgiveness when he dumped me, i remember him stating you are not the one for me. Even though he said this he still came back for me months after, and yet months after that he cheated. So I noticed that a lot more men are more pushing the whole finding "the one" idea as opposed to women (well women i know). Do you really believe there is one person who is the "one". I dont know what i think about this, i feel like you are looking to hard for that one person to satisfy you, what if you continue life looking for "the one" only to end up lonely? so even though for the most part me and my ex had a lovely relationship (he was my first love i gave him my all), what is up with the notion of being or finding the one? Is there such a thing? I would like to hear both genders opinion
ADF Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 You say you know your ex cheated, but you don't say how you know. I'll assume you found evidence when you went snooping through his private email. Just for the record, I would IMMEDIATELY dump anyone who dared to invade my privacy the way you invaded his. And I've never cheated on anyone. And if a man ever violated my privacy that way for whatever reason, I'd beat the s___ out of him first. That aside, the idea of The One is not only a lie, it is a dangerous one. Dangerous in the sense that it makes people vulnerable to liars, cheaters, and other abusers. Someone who believes in fairy tales about The One, who puts people on pedestals, falls much harder when their childish illusions are shattered.
Author Livelovelearn Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 You say you know your ex cheated, but you don't say how you know. I'll assume you found evidence when you went snooping through his private email. Just for the record, I would IMMEDIATELY dump anyone who dared to invade my privacy the way you invaded his. And I've never cheated on anyone. And if a man ever violated my privacy that way for whatever reason, I'd beat the s___ out of him first. That aside, the idea of The One is not only a lie, it is a dangerous one. Dangerous in the sense that it makes people vulnerable to liars, cheaters, and other abusers. Someone who believes in fairy tales about The One, who puts people on pedestals, falls much harder when their childish illusions are shattered. I know this because he added that girl on facebook and she probably seen my messages and comments on his page and messaged me. She said he has been acting weird and she was just wondering if i am a friend of his or if i had a relationship with him, thats how i found out. And i did not say that I was Right for going on his messenger with the password he had given me from his other account. But this was last year not the reason for the cheating this year, yet i know he didnt forgive me for it even though i do regret my actions but i was the one who told him that i did it. I could have lied but i was always honest about the wrongs i did. Unlike him who till this day denies cheating on me. I understand that is your opinion, and i bet he doesnt take invading lightly either. Im not saying im right, but if he did go into my messenger i would be angry but would not dump him for it since i have nothing to hide. The time i did it he said he didnt feel the same anymore and suprise suprise some girl had sent him an explicit offline message that i saw. I guess i was the idiot for going back. But anyway i agree with you that the idea of the one is a dangerous one but i find alot of men look for the one which is odd i personally dont believe there is one person for you. Thanks for the post
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