luvflower Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 Here’s the situation. Boyfriend and I of about a year and ½ have these 2 big issues. i’ve been trying to determine whether or not i’m being reasonable for seeing these issues as dealbreakers... issue #1 since shortly after we started dating he’s called me excessively while i’m at work...while he knows my work requires me to be engaged 95% of the time...then he complains about me not calling him as much as he calls me. Sidebar: Mind you we now live together and have been for about 4 months now. This behavior of his, along with a few other things, have made me break up w/him several months ago. During this time he was very spiteful and would blow up my phone always right after doing something like trying to get me prego then admitting it , calling at the last minute to say he cant come over after he initiated a date, and not defending me when his mother gets in my face about me breaking up with him...he was so against the breakup.we kept seeing each other and eventually after about a month or two we got back together. Shortly after that I moved in w/ a girlfriend which he was also against due to the fact that there we 2 other guys living there. So I was trying to get my own spot. But...he nagged me so much about wanting me to move in with him. So I did... issue #2 it seems like ever since we moved in together, he has decided to work more. To me its annoying b/c he wants me living with him yet he’s rarely there. We enjoy each other while we’re together doing different things and going out of town. However, he works on his days off from time to time “to make sure the bills get paid” so he says. Flags go up in my head b/c I know how sooo many men use work as an excuse to cheat. There is a situation with someone dear to me where her husband is cheating on her with 3 women and her husband acts like he’s working all the time...Though I know my boyfriend is working because I hear the machine and his boss while he’s working(and he still calls me 50 times a day), when I bring up the fact that it makes no sense to me that he works on his day off, he acts as if he doesn’t realize what i’m saying with this flat tone in his voice and this stoic expression. And when I say I don’t wanna make love he acts like i’ve committed a crime...or rejecting him in every way. Btw, I will admit that i’m not making as much money as he does right now b/c I changed jobs and he has a child who has requires child support. He knew knew all this when he asked me to move in with him. I am about at my wits end with him b/c I feel tha ever since I broke up with him, he disappoints me more often than not by canceling our plans to work. Does he think that money is the only requirement to keep me in his life? He barely even sees his son, but always pays that child support. i’ve had to ask him when the last time was that he’d seen his son. He responded ...”it’s been a while”... “i gotta work”...IMO, thats no excuse.
Author luvflower Posted May 25, 2010 Author Posted May 25, 2010 oh, and he's calling now trying to find out where i am and trying to say he's decided not to work thursday afterall which would have been his day off anyway...
xpaperxcutx Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 Anyone that nags and complains to a SO screams co-dependency. I don't know, I feel like the both of you aren't on the same page. It seems that whatever you or him finds unsatisfactory, once the situation is changed or corrected, the both of you find something else to complain about. The both of you have communication problems and need to resolve it.
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