aeren944 Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 Hey guys, I've posted most of my situation over at the Seperation and Divorce forums, but I'm trying to cope now. It will be a full month on Thursday since my fiance and I broke it off due to her cheating, among other things. Saturday and Sunday, I was in hell... just totally depressed, useless, and terrible. On Sunday night, I had an epiphany that I wanted to be the old me, that I was happy before her, and I attracted friends and people... and I don't have that now. Yesterday was good, and I was able to focus on who I used to be, and try to be positive about everything. I spent a lot of time on here, offering some advice to various people. It was great. Today, I'm back in hell again. I'm spending this whole morning trying to fight off thinking about her, and thinking about how much this hurts and sucks. I've been at work for 3 hours, and I'm using every minute to just try and fight off this pain. It's really tough to cope right now, and I feel like I'm sliding back downhill... and after I had such a good day yesterday. I feel weak because she broke my heart, cheated on me, and I STILL ache for her. I feel so stupid for feeling this way... it's because I still love her. I still want her back. How the hell do I deal with this? How the hell do I start loving myself, and stop loving her? I'm just finding it really hard to cope today, and I'm looking for some support, I think.
sedgwick Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 Just think about how it would be if she DID come back. You'd never be able to trust her again. Wouldn't you rather hold out for someone who won't ever cheat on you to begin with? Yeah, it sucks now because you want the comfort of the person you knew (or thought you knew.) But when you find someone with enough integrity and love for you to remain faithful, going through the pain right now will be worth it!
Author aeren944 Posted May 25, 2010 Author Posted May 25, 2010 Thank you, sedgwick. I know those things in my head, but my heart's being stubborn. It's just hard because I keep thinking about her... what she's doing... or something. I'm not sure. I went NC, even deleted her from my myspace and facebook. But she's still messaging me, from her phone. She's trying to just talk about her day or whatever. I know I shouldn't answer her. It doesn't happen often, but it happened yesterday and its happening right now... as I type this. I'm better, but I am still way hurt... way confused.
Recommended Posts