The_Bohemian Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 Hi there! So... It's the first time I wrote here... Right in the same day I joined Well... I'm just so desperated about my little situation and nobody in real life can really help me out with is... So yes, it's the reason why I joined: I'm desperated ... In order to get the answer I want I'll need to tell everything (well, not everything, I don't want him to find this ) Sorry if I write something wrong, english it's not my main language And sorry if I write too much ... I've had talked with this guy for two years and we're having almost 11 months in this long distance relationship. It was 'an accident' I don't really regret, we were just internet friend but it just happened and it was me who asked him out... He's my first boyfriend and I'm his first girlfriend, so I'm new and stupid about love... I've grown so much with him and I feel I really love him and want to have a life with him but then these issues started to happen... Well yes... We've had cybersex and he didn't force me and neither I did on him, it just happened, it was great for me because I didn't feel uncomfortable with him. I've been kind of ignorant about these sex issues so he helped me out about this... and still... He's one year younger than me, and lives around a culture though close to mine, different than mine... His parents doesn't support our relationship and... I used to think my parents did but know they're comming out with certain coments that makes me feel unsupported and sad But well this is not the real problem... We got so open about these sex thing and it came a time when we just did it more than anything and I started to feel used... I've never let a guy take adventage of me but... because I love this guy I felt I needed to please him though I felt uncomfortable about it, or even just not in the mood, sometimes I just felt mad with myself about it, but never let him know... He realised that and hurt and felt bad about himself... then he tried to control himself. I've thought too much about him and really think he's a really nice person, though he's very lazy sometimes , he really cares about me and loves me... In the last months we started to had fight and been close to break up many times (in one of them I even was wishing him a happy life and good luck and all that ) , but we both didn't want to... I tried to keep going though sometimes I just couldn't feel better right after the discussions just like he did... Sometimes I felt like my love for him was gone... But it's weird because though I felt I didn't love him, I worked on love him again and after some time felt the love again... He's planning to come here soon ... But for all the fights we've had for the stupid "sex" issues we have (Well these are more like discussions then fights). I've made him questions about his sexual preferences and now I can't help but see him like a dirty, ultra-perverted guy... Because now I can't have any conversation that doesn't lead to sexual topics, or he just wants "to have" sex (for now I'm back living with my family for vacations, so this has been kind of impossible no matter if I'd also want to) or just talk about those thinks. I think "well... he's young, his mind doesn't have space for nothing else, like other men... He's immature and needs to grow" things like that... Sometimes I fear I don't like him anymore, and I'm looking back again to the perfect man I have in my head... But I feel horrible and sad and desperated this is happening I hate it! Days ago I loved him... Now I fear him, it makes me sad! I know he's much more than just a perverted guy, I know him so much! But I can't take this thought out of my mind! Should I tell him something or what? People here can't really help me because they find this relationship weird, new and stupid... The ones who care just say I'm thinking too much, and I'm just scared... Maybe they're right... He'll come soon and I just want to feel the way I used to again, I don't want to break up with him, but sometimes I just can't stop thinking about it... Please help! I wish they'd sell pills for these kind of problems... I don't want to feel this way... I guess I'm not really giving a topic or question But this is what I wrote. If someone has something to say about this, I'd be grateful... Thanks PS: If you'd need some details the relationship, he or myself to give me an answer, I will give them to you
Els Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I'll tell you straight up, OP, that sex-addicted or 'ultra-perverted' men, as you put it, are not usually the sorts of men willing to sit out a committed LDR with a partner without having met her for 11 months. Think about it. Something doesn't sound right. Is that the main thing you fought about? What other 'sex issues' did you have?
Author The_Bohemian Posted May 28, 2010 Author Posted May 28, 2010 I'll tell you straight up, OP, that sex-addicted or 'ultra-perverted' men, as you put it, are not usually the sorts of men willing to sit out a committed LDR with a partner without having met her for 11 months. Think about it. Something doesn't sound right. Is that the main thing you fought about? What other 'sex issues' did you have? It's true, I know... But well, mostly yes we've been close to even break up for that... I've never had sex and all of that before, but I do know it's an important thing in relationships but I don't know... I guess I dont really like his sexual tastes (if I wrote that right..) but I still try and hope I'll get to like them soon
Els Posted May 28, 2010 Posted May 28, 2010 I'm afraid I'll have to ask you for more information before further advice can be given. What sort of 'sexual tastes' are you uncomfortable with, how often does he ask for it?
Author The_Bohemian Posted May 29, 2010 Author Posted May 29, 2010 I'm afraid I'll have to ask you for more information before further advice can be given. What sort of 'sexual tastes' are you uncomfortable with, how often does he ask for it? Like... masochist, aggressive, things like that. Then he says we'll try "my tastes" but we never do, he slowly changes it to his ones... and well, he asks for it almost everyday!
jenifer1972 Posted May 29, 2010 Posted May 29, 2010 Have you ever met this guy or has your only contact been on the internet.? If internet only, big problem here...
Author The_Bohemian Posted May 31, 2010 Author Posted May 31, 2010 Have you ever met this guy or has your only contact been on the internet.? If internet only, big problem here... I know I shouldn't really mind because it's just internet, maybe in real life everything would be different...
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