KikiW Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 Ok gotta get this off my chest... My ex and I split up after being together for about 15 years. While it hasn't always been rosy, we've worked really hard to maintain a good friendship. We told all our friends that we are still friends. When I say friends, I mean we still get together socially. We have a daughter together, and quite frankly we still have a lot of mutual interests (like movies and board games and whatnot). We are each seeing someone and are in committed relationships with them (we are both now living with our SOs). Amazingly, every one of us gets along with each other. I have discovered similar interests with my ex's new lady that we chat about (we're both rabid couponers for one), and my daughter adores her - I have no complaints. My ex and my SO don't have a LOT in common, but they enjoy BBQing, camping, and video games so they have enough to chat about too, and they each genuinely think the other is a nice guy. In fact, all 5 of us are going camping in a couple weekends, with the addition of my SO's daughter. So why is it that some of our mutual friends have given the cold shoulder to my SO, but even more disgustingly have been extremely obvious about disliking my ex's new flame??? Neither of them have done anything to deserve the treatment, but they act like she spit on them or something. I thought at first perhaps they were waiting for the fireworks to happen. Divorcing couples are supposed to be bitter at each other and friends have to choose sides, I suppose that's the general idea. But that never happened with us. It's been almost 2 years since we split. Some of our friends have been awesome and taken the time to get to know our SO's and whatnot, but just today my ex was telling me how his SO's friends welcomed him with open arms, and he is embarrassed by how our friends have treated his SO. And it's true. It's absolutely embarassing. These women are 36-39, not 12. And one of them I have known since I was 11 years old. At this point I no longer want to even be friends with her, I am that disgusted. WTH?
Mittens Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Funnily enough, I have the same sort of situation going on. I'm separated from H of 9 years, now living with my SO...and they get on like a house on fire! Me and the SO even go up to Manchester to visit my H and he lets us stay in his flat...that's how well we all get on. In my situation it's been some of my SO's friends that haven't taken too kindly to this...we have the added complication that my SO is bisexual, and some of his gay male friends are the type that don't believe bisexuals exist. So my SO has 'betrayed' his true sexuality in their eyes, and the fact he gets on with his straight GFs H just gives them further reason to bitch. Anyway...enjoy what you have. Like you say, divorcing couples are 'supposed' to be bitter, and anyone who doesn't live up to that stereotype is going to be viewed with suspicion and be gossiped about. I'm sorry both your SO and your ex's SO are being treated so badly...I'd just ignore these fools, and frankly, seriously consider dropping the worst offenders. Life is too short for this type of bollocks.
freestyle Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 you almost have to wonder if these friends somehow feel cheated, for not getting their share of dirt to dish. You'd think real friends would be happy that you're enjoying a relatively drama-free existence. IME--these are the same kind of people who will stir the pot to create drama, if things get "too dull". Perhaps these pot-stirrers had acrimonious breakups themselves, and feel invalidated when they see people behaving maturely.......hmmmm...
freestyle Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Oh, and for the record, I know some women in their 50's who still act like they're in junior high. Some people never seem to outgrow it.
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