holly88 Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 Hello, I am new here... to give you a little background... we broke up 4 months ago and it was pretty much a clean break. I was her first love and first relationship and i think she sometimes wondered what else was out there. she said she was in love with someone else 4 months ago and things ended. (we were together for 3 years) It was hard at first but now my life is back in order and I Am doing well. I actually don't think of her that much and when I do have a memory or a painful moment, it's just a moment rather than a ruined day. So it was NC.. but 3 months after NC I had my birthday. She wrote me a short email saying happy birthday and that she hopes i am doing okay. I wrote back a day later and said thanks and I hope she is well too. Then a few weeks later I needed something of mine that she still had and so I wrote and asked if she could take it to a mutual friend's house where I ahve to go anyway. She wrote back almost overly friendly and nice (lots of smilies and "!"). Then I also wrote back a short thanks. My messages have always been nice, in no way mean or angry, but also strictly business and not overly nice. Finally about a week ago she wrote me looking for a pair of boots that I never even borrowed or used. She said she could not find them and asked if I had them. she also included a "congratulations" for some good news she heard about me through a friend. I told her that I am sure I've never borrowed them and that they are not here, but that I'd look around and let her know if i find them. I didn't write anything about that "congratulations" she said bust kept the conversation to the business of the boots. Then she wrote back a day later saying yeah it would be great if you could look and let me know if you find them. Then I had to drop an old book i found of her's off at her brother's house and I left a note in there that said "sorry but i didnt find the boots, hope you find them. take care--" something like that. So that is a summary of the contact. I am fine but it's been 4 months and I am starting to get really curious about her. I imagine she is getting curious about me too... but probably not because she probably hears stuff about me because i am still in contact with her family as we were really close. i dont know anything about her though. i still wonder somewhere in my mind if we could reconcile... but at the same time i wonder if perhaps its just that i want to be friends again. how do i move forward to figure that out? i am really curious to get in contact again and see what is there. but at the same time, i feel like i should just wait it out until she contacts me again (jedi mind tricks/push pull theory)... On the other hand though, a part of me still is reserved and would like to never be friends or have contact, because of the grounds on which she left me. However, I know that if I was with my first relationship, I'd also be wanting to try other things. Also, I heard from a mutual friend that the person she was in love with turned out to not feel the same way about her! Anyone have advice for me? Should I continue to wait? Or does the already made contact give me the opportunity to make contact again? So far all contact has been with a back-up "excuse" (bday, missing things). Also, do you think she'll forget me the longer we are in "NC"? Thanks for reading that very long email
nowomanocry Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 She broke NC and she is testing the waters if you still would be interested in something with her. Most probably, her other r/s didn't work and shes trying to get together with you. Very typical
DustySaltus Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 It's apparent things didn't work out with her ex and she is just trying to boost her ego to see if you are still there for her. A reconciliation is pointless unless both people are willing to fix the problems that lead to the breakup in the first place. She wanted to see what was out there and now she has to live with the consenquences of her actions. There's nothing to talk about right now because she did not say that she made a mistake and is willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. Ok, so she's sending you birthday messages. That's nice, but it's breadcrumbs when you need a steak to be satisfied. If at some point she does tell you that she made a mistake, you will have a decision to make. But just remember...fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me..... I know it hurts and as you get further and further away from your relationship as time passes by all your left with are memories of the person you loved. But people can change in time, just keep that in perspective. Good luck.
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