tincanman99 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I dont think you are being demanding by looking for a non-chain restaurant. I dont frequent the chains on dates because of the garbage food and the stigma attached to them. That being said, you should fire this guy ASAP. Why? Because he will continue to do what he is doing. Some guys are pretty dense and will assume that just because you dont respond you are still interested. I would just say straight up "I dont think we are a good match". Thats it, no drama, no excuses, no lies about "being friends", "you are a nice guy, but....". Just tell him and be done with it. He most likely will not want to be friends or will pull the "I will continue to be friends with you till you come to your senses" routine. Regardless, tell him and than cut off contact for a while. And whatever you do, dont go back to the well in a month or two and ask him how he is doing.
tincanman99 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Personally you ought to be grateful he's actually suggesting taking you to a restaurant and paying for your meal. From what I've seen quite a bit of what passes for "dating" these days are "hookup's" with the guy popping over to the girl's apt for some sex after he's spent his evening elsewhere. This guys texts to you could very well be saying things like "Wut up biatch? sex?" If the man's sweet talk doesn't interest you, he has still honored you by expressing interest, you need to let him know clearly but politely that you aren't interested, you can then unfriend him, unfollow him on twitter and block his texts. Btw, Applebee's makes good drinks and the appetizers while conventional aren't bad, it's a safe choice of a place to take someone new. These pick up artist guys actually tell other men to NEVER to pay for dinner nor drinks. Because than you are a putz and being used. This is not my opinion, its whats being circulated around.
malala7 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Yes, but it's the words that make her "puke" not the timing. She also sounds spoiled. In Soviet Russia Ironman Watches You Ok RedRussian are you talking about me her? Or about the OP? Because that comment was directed to the exact thing I said. If the comment is in fact a reply to mine, What makes me 'puke' (yes I know, wrong choice of word) is the fact that a guy trying to impress me has to be more creative than cheesy lines. Words don't mean much coming from a guy who is not even with you, even if it's Brad Pitt.
RedRussian Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Are you trying to impress the guy? if not and it's one way street and you sit there like a queen "entertain me! Impress me!" then leave the guy alone so he can try with a girl who likes him enough to try to impress him as well even a little.
malala7 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Are you trying to impress the guy? if not and it's one way street and you sit there like a queen "entertain me! Impress me!" then leave the guy alone so he can try with a girl who likes him enough to try to impress him as well even a little. Yes RedRussian, impress me and make me want to be around you. I'll impress him late
Trimmer Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 OP wasn't referring to a first date, and neither was I. Thank you for clarifying the OP's meaning... I sure was. Oh! How? You've already been out with this guy - says so in your OP!! I've read it over again several times, and unless my tunnel-vision is even narrower than yours seems to be, I can't find it. Man, you girls are mean to each other...
Author marsle85 Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 Man, you girls are mean to each other... Yikes, I know.
Taramere Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 "Can I show you how a princess should be treated?" If it were possible to catch an STD just from reading a text message, that would be the text message you would catch an STD from. I can almost smell the garlic and the cheap aftershave.
malala7 Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 If it were possible to catch an STD just from reading a text message, that would be the text message you would catch an STD from. I can almost smell the garlic and the cheap aftershave. Hahaha! I second that
Star Gazer Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Yikes, I know. Excuse me? You may be a mean girl, but I most certainly am not. I'm too old for petty nonsense like what's in the OP. But let me point out that my first post in this thread was to defend you, and over the course of the remaining posts, I merely changed my mind.
Twenty-ten Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I've read it over again several times, and unless my tunnel-vision is even narrower than yours seems to be, I can't find it. Man, you girls are mean to each other... Was wondering the exact same thing, as I too saw nothing of the sort in the OP. Some people just want to post in threads to attack others, and that's pretty much all they are worth. You just made my day. I think this really sums up how I was feeling. He whips out these over the top, cheesy comments and then suggests: "How does a backrub feel right now?" It makes my skin crawl! Wow that would make my skin crawl as well, whatever gives these guys the impression that after one date you want them giving you backrubs and the likes is beyond me. And when they ask it makes it even more intolerable. But in his defense he just sounds kind of clueless. You need a guy who has it going on, he clearly does not.
Author marsle85 Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 But let me point out that my first post in this thread was to defend you, and over the course of the remaining posts, I merely changed my mind. That's true, and I have been just as respectful to you when you changed your mind, as when you were defending me. You may very well appreciate chain restaurants, but I presented myself and my opinions fairly and have not responded insincerely to any of the posters (supportive or not)- yet I'm fairly sure you were the first to declare me "high maintenance" over the course of [one post]. Excuse me? You may be a mean girl, but I most certainly am not. I'm too old for petty nonsense like what's in the OP. I applaud your maturity and grace regarding chain restaurants, however those qualities seemingly didn't stop you from making it a point that you joined forces with Erica and D. To me, that kind of catty female comradeship (present in many threads outside this one) is petty nonsense.
EricaH329 Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 .... you joined forces with Erica and D. I've kept my comments to my myself (after the original ones) because they were obviously unwanted. But I feel the need to comment on this. There isn't a 'force'. We didn't decide to pick teams and gang up on eachother. D and I simply had the same opinion about this particular instance. It just so happens, that it's not a very positive opinion. Hope that clears up any further confusion.
lifeasiknowit Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I've kept my comments to my myself (after the original ones) because they were obviously unwanted. But I feel the need to comment on this. There isn't a 'force'. We didn't decide to pick teams and gang up on eachother. D and I simply had the same opinion about this particular instance. It just so happens, that it's not a very positive opinion. Hope that clears up any further confusion. I don't see EricaH329 and D's posts as "ganging up" on the OP. I also don't see what was blatantly rude about their opinions. This is what happens when you post on public boards, some people will have contrary opinions. For me, I have no frickin clue what the original post is even about. I think it has something to do with Applebees and how chain restaurants are a reflection of bad taste or lack of imagination or effort, AND/OR it's about tacky men or men who say tacky things. If the OP doesn't like the guy, doesn't like chain restaurants, than I don't see what the conflict is. Just say you're not interested.
Star Gazer Posted May 27, 2010 Posted May 27, 2010 I applaud your maturity and grace regarding chain restaurants, however those qualities seemingly didn't stop you from making it a point that you joined forces with Erica and D. To me, that kind of catty female comradeship (present in many threads outside this one) is petty nonsense. As we discussed privately, we're all good. Chalk it up to a misunderstanding/misinterpretation. But I do agree with you, had there been a "force."
Adunaphel Posted June 15, 2010 Posted June 15, 2010 I would wonder whether all those mushy lines are a red flag. You said that the guy is attractive. So he must not be so disperate to get a date... Messages such as the ones you received would probably trigger some doubts if I were in your shoes. I'd wonder if the guy has a reputation for being a womanizer or on the contrary comes from a stable, mushy relationship. Mushy messages from a guy who is just interested in getting into my pants would upset me greatly. I would feel offended and quite enraged. Mushy messages from a "nice" guy (meaning a guy whom I like as a person) would be different. Perhaps he just thinks that women like mushy messages because his ex gf loved them.. or because they worked with his previous serious relationship.
hpblah Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Ahhh, i wish i could say i don't relate, but sadly i do... My boyfriend (on and off of about 6ish years) was like this all the time, but since time has gone by its died down a bit, but i think hes just one of them men stuck in a crazy fairytale, This may sound a little insensitive, but it can really become a headache at times, so you should try to talk to him and just be blunt like, "what's your problem?!!!" he might get the message good luck!!
burningashes Posted June 16, 2010 Posted June 16, 2010 Back to the original post, I am like you too- sappy and sweet talk is a turn off for me, period. I usually tell guys to cut it out, and there hasn't been any issues. They appreciate my honesty that "over the top" sweet talk doesn't do it for me and we get along superb. You could just try telling him (or any other guy in the future), gently, of course, that you don't like the sappy talk because it's so recycled and meaningless or whatever your reason is. See what happens there. Just a tip
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