sweetjasmine Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 That's all fine and good, but to somehow cast blame on your date for taking you there as though it's low class...? I mean, really? Sorry, did I do that? You said you couldn't imagine why, so I explained my own personal reasons why going out to Applebee's is kind of off-putting.
SarahRose Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I don't think you are seeking attention, either. I do think you need to be straight up with this guy. It's the most respectful thing to do. You know it's not going anywhere. I like mushy but not corny. I can only tolerate a small degree of cornball in a man. It totally affects his attractiveness. I think that OP should just tell the guy straight up she will never be interested in him romantically. If she is interested in him romantically she needs to tell him to tone it down and just be himself as all those texts come off as so fake. Would he be able to keep up this same type of devotion in say 3 years? I doubt it.
Lakeside_runner Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I really CANNOT agree. It depends entirely on your place in life, and the chain in question. I can't imagine why someone in their early 20's would be put off by being taken to PF Changs or Macaroni Grill, or even Chili's or TGIFs. I went to places like that in college all the time, and would feel like the biggest snob if I felt they were not date worthy. Nor would I in my 30's be put off by being taken to Ruth Chris, Morton's, or Houston's. No. Still disagree with you. Yes, you can go to Applebee's or any other chain and pay $8.99 for a burger or some $12-15 for an entre. Yes, it depends on who you're going with etc. But you can also do your homework and go to say a thing like Jasmine Deli (a tiny Vietnamese restaurant in the city...here) that has only six tables, way better service than any chain restaurant, and their food - just to die for! It doesn't have to be anything with lots of bling. Just put some effort into it and you can make a memorable date on any budget (within reason of course). It's all about the details and effort that you put into it. These days with the Zagat and the internet - easiest thing in the world.
kiss_andmakeup Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I really CANNOT agree. It depends entirely on your place in life, and the chain in question. I can't imagine why someone in their early 20's would be put off by being taken to PF Changs or Macaroni Grill, or even Chili's or TGIFs. I went to places like that in college all the time, and would feel like the biggest snob if I felt they were not date worthy. Nor would I in my 30's be put off by being taken to Ruth Chris, Morton's, or Houston's. It has more to do with the lack of creativity and thoughtfulness behind it. Also, because I'm an adventurous person, I really don't find anything appealing about eating at those restaurants, since they all serve pretty standard fare. I completely fail to see the point of eating at a restaurant whose items are also available in the frozen food section at Meijer (see: TGI Friday's). I would rather be taken to the hole in the wall, dirt-cheap but delicious Thai restaurant down the street from me, or a kitschy little coffee shop, than waste my or his money on boring food.
Author marsle85 Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 I would rather be taken to the hole in the wall, dirt-cheap but delicious Thai restaurant down the street from me, or a kitschy little coffee shop, than waste my or his money on boring food. yes yes yes yes. Looove dinky diners!
Star Gazer Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 It has more to do with the lack of creativity and thoughtfulness behind it. Also, because I'm an adventurous person, I really don't find anything appealing about eating at those restaurants, since they all serve pretty standard fare. I completely fail to see the point of eating at a restaurant whose items are also available in the frozen food section at Meijer (see: TGI Friday's). I would rather be taken to the hole in the wall, dirt-cheap but delicious Thai restaurant down the street from me, or a kitschy little coffee shop, than waste my or his money on boring food. I understand, and I agree that whole in the wall places are more fun. But to require always being taken to one screams only one thing: HIGH MAINTENANCE! I'm rethinking my original thoughts on this thread... perhaps D and Erica were on to something afterall...
woodnorwegian Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 If the worse of my problems was a guy showing too much interest in me, albeit in a very tacky and overdone way, I would be flattered, but if I wasn't interested than it's as simple as making it clear he's not the one. Marsle, the fact that you get this kind of attention should be seen as a positive thing, but then you probably get this kind of "problem" a lot. I actually can't relate to a situation where a guy is obsessed with me, but the one you're talking about does sound incredibly cheesy.
SilentVoice Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I understand, and I agree that whole in the wall places are more fun. But to require always being taken to one screams only one thing: HIGH MAINTENANCE! I'm rethinking my original thoughts on this thread... perhaps D and Erica were on to something afterall... Why is it considered high maintenance?Most hole in the wall joints are usually cheaper or in the same price range of most chain restaurants . If most guys have the same idea as you on this I most likely come across as the biggest prima donna to guys ,sigh
woodnorwegian Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I understand, and I agree that whole in the wall places are more fun. But to require always being taken to one screams only one thing: HIGH MAINTENANCE! I'm rethinking my original thoughts on this thread... perhaps D and Erica were on to something afterall... I kind of have to agree with Star Gazer on this. I do see that going to a chain restaurant implies lack of creativity or thought, but then sometimes it's more convenient. It's okay with me, as long as the food is decent. Good conversation is more important.
Toki Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 The greatest thing about being in a city, or close to one, is that you should never settle for chain restaurants. I know twenty places off the top of my head that are close by to where I live that are 100x better than Applebee's and to boot, around half the price. Since I've moved to Seattle from Montana my dating options went from Applebees and Ironman, to exquisite Himalayan Cuisine (as an example) and something like a Comedy Club, or a concert. The Dates were so so so so much better on every level, and for the most part, close to the same price. So if you live close to a city, there's no excuse.
Star Gazer Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Why is it considered high maintenance?Most hole in the wall joints are usually cheaper or in the same price range of most chain restaurants . If most guys have the same idea as you on this I most likely come across as the biggest prima donna to guys ,sigh Because of the list of requirements... "I'd rather do this, and if he doesn't do this, it's ewwwwwwww to him."
SilentVoice Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Because of the list of requirements... "I'd rather do this, and if he doesn't do this, it's ewwwwwwww to him." IDK Oh well I have seen worst things on peoples lists.I will survive lol
Author marsle85 Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 I understand, and I agree that whole in the wall places are more fun. But to require always being taken to one screams only one thing: HIGH MAINTENANCE! I'm rethinking my original thoughts on this thread... perhaps D and Erica were on to something afterall... aw, that's too bad. Duuude, I never, ever said a high end restaurant was required. My main concern is a little creativity, and some romance. I don't mean to offend anyone, is it wrong to expect more effort than a commercial effort? Jeesh, the guy could plant a blanket and make me a PB&J sandwich for all I care!
kiss_andmakeup Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 IDK Oh well I have seen worst things on peoples lists.I will survive lol Definitely! I don't even really care how much money a guy makes or what kind of car/house he has...I just like a guy with some culture and good taste in food/music/art...and it definitely hasn't limited my ability to find a boyfriend. I liken it to someone who likes sports, also wanting their sig. other to like sports. It's just a matter of common interests and desires, really. Different strokes, aye?
woodnorwegian Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 (edited) He's even this corny in person... the other day he mentioned how he had to go through my agent to talk to me. He goes on about how I'm a "model" etc. I wish someone would say nice things to me like that. But the other stuff you mentioned that he texted you does sound over-the-top. What's so hard about simply giving him the message that you're not interested. You've probably encountered something like this before, and have dealt with it. What's the point of starting a thread about it? I don't mean to be rude, but if I was pretty like you and had guys fawning over me, I would be feeling pretty good about it. You do have a choice to just tell him you're not interested. You're lucky you have guys interested in you like that. Edited May 26, 2010 by woodnorwegian
SilentVoice Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Definitely! I don't even really care how much money a guy makes or what kind of car/house he has...I just like a guy with some culture and good taste in food/music/art...and it definitely hasn't limited my ability to find a boyfriend. I liken it to someone who likes sports, also wanting their sig. other to like sports. It's just a matter of common interests and desires, really. Different strokes, aye? Yes , everyone is taking people not wanting to go to a chain restaurant as snobbish. I for one am a foodie and going to a chain restaurant has to be the biggest waste of money to me. You know much fresh food I can get at the co-op for those prices ,I rather go cook. Its more of what you look for in a partner. I rather date someone who has an interest in food ... rather than just into eating any old junk food.Its not about the money .When of my closest friend owns a winery and his knowledge alone on wines is appealing. P.S : stay away from tanning ..your skin is beautiful
Author marsle85 Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 I wish someone would say nice things to me like that. But the other stuff you mentioned that he texted you does sound over-the-top. What's so hard about simply giving him the message that you're not interested. You've probably encountered something like this before, and have dealt with it. What's the point of starting a thread about it? I don't mean to be rude, but if I was pretty like you and had guys fawning over me, I would be feeling pretty good about it. You do have a choice to just tell him you're not interested. You're lucky you have guys interested in you like that. Aw girl, I PROMISE my intentions were not to brag about the attention i'm receiving. I know that's hard to understand from the context of my thread, but I'm not even into this guy... it doesn't bring me joy to discuss his potential disappointment. Among the few topics I discussed in my post, my main goal was to: Gauge my response in comparison to other women about these kind of over-the-top comments... When he said the model thing, I literally responded: "Marc, who are you talking to?" because he's my FRIEND! He KNOWS me, he knows I think he's full of crap and find those kind of things irritating. I'm a down to earth girl, those kind of princessy statements don't give me the butterflies. I would have much, much, much preferred a comment concerning my eyes, or smile or ANYTHING. I want genuineness, you know? TY for the post.
Trimmer Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I understand, and I agree that whole in the wall places are more fun. But to require always being taken to one screams only one thing: HIGH MAINTENANCE! I'm rethinking my original thoughts on this thread... perhaps D and Erica were on to something afterall... Require? Always? She didn't say that. I think you gals think you smell blood in the water (female blood - OP's blood) and now you're instinctively piling on. It's always makes me wistful to see members of a species eat their own... I kind of have to agree with Star Gazer on this. I do see that going to a chain restaurant implies lack of creativity or thought, but then sometimes it's more convenient. OK fine, but you agree that it still implies a lack of creativity and thought, yes? It seems to me that was point in the original post, not that she "always requires" it...
Star Gazer Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 aw, that's too bad. Duuude, I never, ever said a high end restaurant was required. My main concern is a little creativity, and some romance. I don't mean to offend anyone, is it wrong to expect more effort than a commercial effort? Jeesh, the guy could plant a blanket and make me a PB&J sandwich for all I care! Dudes typically go with what tastes good, and for many of them, that's still found at a chain restaurant. They want to please you, and they think they are. All I'm saying is, don't put the guy down or knock him down a couple notches just because he's culinarily challenged. Sheesh.
Trimmer Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Dudes typically go with what tastes good, and for many of them, that's still found at a chain restaurant. They want to please you, and they think they are. All I'm saying is, don't put the guy down or knock him down a couple notches just because he's culinarily challenged. Sheesh. Actually, this makes me feel good - like I'm at least a little bit of a cut above - because even I, the most average, clueless dork I know, wouldn't suggest a chain restaurant for a first time out. That's the kind of place you "end up" at midnight after a movie, or where you go late Sunday afternoon after scuba diving together because you're tired and hungry and you just need something now, but not a place you choose for the first time out... Maybe I'm not as clueless as I think - there may be hope yet!
Author marsle85 Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 Dudes typically go with what tastes good, and for many of them, that's still found at a chain restaurant. They want to please you, and they think they are. All I'm saying is, don't put the guy down or knock him down a couple notches just because he's culinarily challenged. Sheesh. I disagree. Men are not stupid, and they don't think they are "impressing" a woman by taking her to Applebee's. They are pulling the necessary weight, and nothing extra. The recent trend to pin men as only needing "beer, TV, food and women" I find personally demeaning. They aren't cavemen, and they can comprehend what "tastes good".
Star Gazer Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I disagree. Men are not stupid, and they don't think they are "impressing" a woman by taking her to Applebee's. They are pulling the necessary weight, and nothing extra. The recent trend to pin men as only needing "beer, TV, food and women" I find personally demeaning. They aren't cavemen, and they can comprehend what "tastes good". Yup, I called it. High maintenance.
Star Gazer Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 Actually, this makes me feel good - like I'm at least a little bit of a cut above - because even I, the most average, clueless dork I know, wouldn't suggest a chain restaurant for a first time out. OP wasn't referring to a first date, and neither was I.
Author marsle85 Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 I disagree. Men are not stupid, and they don't think they are "impressing" a woman by taking her to Applebee's. They are pulling the necessary weight, and nothing extra. The recent trend to pin men as only needing "beer, TV, food and women" I find personally demeaning. They aren't cavemen, and they can comprehend what "tastes good". Edit: "They can comprehend beyond what 'tastes good.'"
Author marsle85 Posted May 26, 2010 Author Posted May 26, 2010 OP wasn't referring to a first date, and neither was I. I sure was.
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