april Posted July 10, 2000 Posted July 10, 2000 well sometimes i get so bored with my relationship and want to stir up some trouble, like a fight or something to put some spice in my relationship. sometimes it's like i want us to fight so i can break up with him, other times i swear i'll never leave him cause i love him so much. yet i get bored with the old status quo. i'm not a kid, i'm in my 30's and this has always been a way of life for me but i'm so tired of it. i want to settle down with this one guy, but yet i miss the excitement i got from abusive alcoholic boyfriends. this one is somewhat an alcoholic but he controls it alot cause i don't like it, so he don't drink too often, yet i look for things to fight about. anyone else do this? thank you april
Taressa Posted July 10, 2000 Posted July 10, 2000 It takes a little maturity both to make and to appreciate a good, mutually respectful relationship. My guess is the latest guy fulfills a need to return to the type of love you grew up with. I also suspect there was a little dysfunction in that family life that failed to teach you a healthy love and acceptance. A working relationship, then, wouldn't feel like home to you. The niceness feels a little unwelcome so you feel the need to stir it up so you can unleash and share love in the way you're accustomed. If you're involved in a relationship that attempts to replace the type of love you learned from your father, you've submitted yourself into a new type of parental relationship. And like any father/daughter relationships, it is only successful if the father raises you to the point you outgrow him. Take a good look at your past relationships and see if the pattern is one you wish to continue. Try to pinpoint what it is that draws you to these alcoholic, somewhat abusive relationships and see if you might find a better way to fill your need. The only way we can unselfishly love is if we have a whole self.
billy the kid Posted July 10, 2000 Posted July 10, 2000 so I assume that since your in your 30's your working.. so why do you want to fight, that is so negative.. why not put a little money aside and buy some hand cuffs or a new bakini or any thing else sexual and leave town for a couple of days.. do something positive, something to enhanse your relationship not break it down... example the handcuffs still give you dominance with out the fight... well sometimes i get so bored with my relationship and want to stir up some trouble, like a fight or something to put some spice in my relationship. sometimes it's like i want us to fight so i can break up with him, other times i swear i'll never leave him cause i love him so much. yet i get bored with the old status quo. i'm not a kid, i'm in my 30's and this has always been a way of life for me but i'm so tired of it. i want to settle down with this one guy, but yet i miss the excitement i got from abusive alcoholic boyfriends. this one is somewhat an alcoholic but he controls it alot cause i don't like it, so he don't drink too often, yet i look for things to fight about. anyone else do this? thank you april
magicklady Posted July 11, 2000 Posted July 11, 2000 You need to get some help severly you have all kinds of emotional problems going on in your life right now.. I can't even really give you advice on this one... who wants to be with somone that is abusive???? I spent a few years there myself and I can honestly say that I wouldn't ever go back again. I can't believe anyone would enjoy being with someone who drank so much that they hit them and don't even remember it... As for starting fights yourself with men... that is not healthy either.. you need some counceling...
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