evans34 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I met my now ex girlfriend 7 months ago. I had been split from my previous ex for around 6 months and she had only recently been split from her husband. We instantly hit it off, and got serious pretty quickly. All along i guess i knew there was something a bit wrong. she has many problems, mainly lack of money, and depression and a lot of hassle from ex husband. But despite all this we had the best relationship, full of love and closeness like i had never felt before. A month ago we went on holiday to her sisters caravan. As soon as we got there i could tell something wasn't right, she was distant, quiet and didn't want to be there. It wasn't until we got home that she admitted, the last time she was there was with her ex husband. being there with me had brought memories back and she realised she hadn't given herself enough time on her own to get over her ex husband. So she wanted to have a break from me and her in order to get her head sorted. So that is what we did, but despite saying we wouldn't contact each other, we still did. We kept seeing each other, talking on phone etc. Recently the Doctor has put her on Anti Depressents, these have totally changed her, she is totally numb of any feelings, not just for me, but even for her kids. She is so cold with me, but kept talking to me. It really upset me, her being like this with me so she said we would be best not speaking at all. And that once she had sorted herself out she would be back intouch. But if i dont text her for a day or two, she always contacts me. I miss her so much, i don't know what to do with myself. should i tell her what an affect this medication is having on her, should i just go with it, don't contact her and wait until she contacts me, or should i just walk away and give up?
lvixen Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Give up completely. Not because she is depressed, which is probably nothing but an excuse to get rid of you. She is having second thoughts because of her ex husband. SHE IS ONLY KEEPING IN CONTACT WITH YOU AS HER SECOND CHOICE. In case things don't work out with her and her ex husband. Do you really want to be second best? Go no contact with her. Don't reply to her calls, texts, emails, nothing and don't initiate contact with her either. And don't let her guilt trip you either. She might say "oh you're giving up with me because I'm depressed". Tell her "no, because you already gave up on ME". Then break off all contact. I don't check this site too often but keep posting on your progress. If I don't reply then someone else will. Good luck.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 she had only recently been split from her husband She rebounded quickly in order to quickly shove her problems under the rug, but like a bad penny they will turn up eventually. What she ran away from is catching up with her. Regardless of the reason why she is doing this, it is best to walk away for now. She has issues she needs to take care of that she should have started working on resolving before you and she got together. I wouldn't contact her, and leave any and all contact up to her. If or when you hear from her, keep it light, ask about her but not about "us".
spiderowl Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 Sorry but I think she's not as involved with you as you are with her. I'm sure she is depressed and that the medication is having an effect on her emotions - it does dull the feelings - but I don't think she feels that attraction and bonding that you do. She probably does miss you very much as a friend, but maybe doesn't see you as a romantic partner any longer. Look at it from her point of view. What do you do if you care about someone but realise you don't think it will work as a romance? You try to separate from them, gradually perhaps, but then find you miss their friendship. It still doesn't mean that a romance would work though. If you can't cope with keeping in touch with her but not being involved romantically, then you might be best losing contact until you have separated from her emotionally. If you hold out hope for romance here, I think you will only make things worse for you and her. If I'm wrong and you do leave her alone, at least you will be giving her chance to miss you and think again. If it helps, rather than thinking of it as the end of a relationship, think of it as letting her go on sabbatical for a year. If you manage to build a life for yourself without her for a year, you'll probably be in a different state of mind by the time a year is up. A lovely lady is waiting to meet you and will be as interested in you as you are in her.
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