tjh001 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I'm nearly 22 and never had a girlfriend or even been on a date. Am I just ugly? Please tell me the truth as I don't want to waste time trying to attract women if I'm never going to succeed because of the way I look. http://imagebin.ca/img/Q-jOmc.jpg
St. Nick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Aren't you one of the dudes from the naked brothers band? The one on the left: http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/KYfeICWBj9V/9th+Annual+T+J+Martel+Foundation+Family+Day/oKUrt4tE_df/Nat If that's the case, how could you possibly have trouble getting women? If not then I'd say it's all related to your confidence and if you really do want a gf. Men who can't get gfs should stop trying so hard and worrying about it. I could name many different resources to finding women that even the ugliest dude could get laid.
BubbleFreak Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 To the OP, you are definitely not ugly. St Nick's link comparing you to some boy does not do you justice. Coming from a 23 year old female, i think your face looks good. Now where is that confidence? Go find a girl and ask her out!
rakhana Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Not ugly! But if that's the facial expression you wear all day even when you interact with people that might be a problem
Green Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I'm nearly 22 and never had a girlfriend or even been on a date. Am I just ugly? Please tell me the truth as I don't want to waste time trying to attract women if I'm never going to succeed because of the way I look. http://imagebin.ca/img/Q-jOmc.jpg You are on the wrong track by even asking this question. If some one came on and said "No you are never going to succeed because of the way you look in that picture..." would that run ur life? Who cares what you look like... DO YOU EVEN ASK GIRLS OUT? WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU ASKED A GIRL ON A DATE IN PERSON? You have try... You have to face rejection. Don't just expect girls to show up at your door
Author tjh001 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 Lol I'm definitely not that guy. I've never asked a girl out because I thought it was pointless as I thought I was ugly and feared rejection. Girls never showed any interest so I naturally assumed this was because of the way I looked.
Green Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Lol I'm definitely not that guy. I've never asked a girl out because I thought it was pointless as I thought I was ugly and feared rejection. Girls never showed any interest so I naturally assumed this was because of the way I looked. I don't wait for a girl to show interest in me. With my current gf she didn't even know I existed until I walked up and flirted with her and then asked her out on a date... A date she actualy ended up turning me down for ... but I didn't give up and asked her out again and we ended up going out and we have been dating for well over a year now. My point is go out there and TRY... DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT YOUR LOOKS... JUST ASK YOURSELF IF YOU LIKE THE GIRL YOU ARE TRYING FOR..... ASK HER OUT ON A DATE.... TRY TO KISS HER....EVEN IF ITS NOT A SURE THING AND YOU MIGHT GET REJECTD GO FOR IT
FitChick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Don't even make it an official date. Just do something during the day to hang out so you can get to know each other. You won't like every girl you date and every girl won't like you. That's why it's called dating, so you can learn to discern what you want and don't want.
Author tjh001 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 It really isn't as easy as just asking a girl out. Do you understand the soul destroying kind of fear that it produces?
Green Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 It really isn't as easy as just asking a girl out. Do you understand the soul destroying kind of fear that it produces? No because unlike you I actualy have asked girls out and been turned down only to realize you will be fine as long as you don't beat yourself up about it. If you ask a girl to come to a concert...or bowling... or the park ect... and she says no it really is not the end of the world. I have been turned down plenty of times and it was worth it because some times you ask a girl out say to a day at the beach and you guys have a great time and then you kiss her and she likes it and you like it. Then eventualy there is the Sex and wow you will have a hop and skip in your step the next day. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Avoiding every girl in the world has the same result as being rejected. STOP EXPECTING GIRLS TO JUST COME TO YOU...GO OUT THERE AND MAKE IT HAPPEN
USMCHokie Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 It really isn't as easy as just asking a girl out. Do you understand the soul destroying kind of fear that it produces? Actually, it is. The act itself is really rather simple. And you will continue to have this ridiculous "fear" until you man up and make your move. Even if you get rejected, what's the worst that will happen to you...? Nothing...
Sivok Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I do, and I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 21 turning 22. Your looks are absolutely fine. I'm sure you've seen guys much uglier than you, way out of shape, with much more attractive females. Also, very rarely will a girl show interest and actively pursue you... Ofcourse it's hard and fear inducing, especially since you went 21 years without doing so. Think about it this way, the chance of rejection if you never ask a girl out is 100%. Whatever the odds are, the chance of success is infinitely higher if you pursue. In the end, what's the worst that could happen? You're still single. The best that could happen? Well, I think you know that . Finding someone is one of life's greatest rewards, and you know what they say - the greatest risks reap the greatest rewards, and that's exactly what dating is.
USMCHokie Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I do, and I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 21 turning 22. I was 25 when I had my first girlfriend. I had self-image issues as just OP does, but it wasn't until I just pulled my head from my ass and asked women out that I realized that, hey, I'm guess I'm not as ugly as I thought I was... OP, you're never going to get over this fear until you make the move and start asking women out.
Author tjh001 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 Part of the problem is that I meet very few women. I'm about to finish university and will be spending the next four months with my parents. Do I go to bars/clubs and just talk to any girl I'm attracted to?
Green Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Part of the problem is that I meet very few women. I'm about to finish university and will be spending the next four months with my parents. Do I go to bars/clubs and just talk to any girl I'm attracted to? Unless you enjoy bars and clubs you shouldn't go there. You will meet girls when you walk up to them and introduce yourself... You will see these women at the park, in the street walking their dog, at the mall shopping ect... you get the point.
Sivok Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 For a beginner, I would not choose the bar/club scene. You will be eaten alive, especially since women are expecting guys to approach them and are more guarded. Try more natural settings like coffee shops, malls, parks, etc. The easiest way to get more comfortable pursuing women is just talking to them more in general, not just for pursuing romance. Try going up to attractive girls and just asking them things you may already know just for the sake of breaking ice. Something like the time or directions. As you get more comfortable, comment on observations - either a book they're reading, an interesting article of clothing, etc - and it'll start feeling extremely natural. Also, Have you tried online dating? That helped me ease out of my shell.
USMCHokie Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Part of the problem is that I meet very few women. I'm about to finish university and will be spending the next four months with my parents. Do I go to bars/clubs and just talk to any girl I'm attracted to? Well, yes, you should talk to any girl you're attracted to, but don't limit it to just bars and clubs. The bar/club scene is generally not the best idea if you're not confident in yourself...girls at the bars will pick up on that... Go out with friends...even to the bars and clubs...meet their friends...and then meet the friends of their friends...social networking...it works...
Green Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Well, yes, you should talk to any girl you're attracted to, but don't limit it to just bars and clubs. The bar/club scene is generally not the best idea if you're not confident in yourself...girls at the bars will pick up on that... Go out with friends...even to the bars and clubs...meet their friends...and then meet the friends of their friends...social networking...it works... This would be the only reason you should go to a club... to be introduced to people by your friends and build ur social circle... Unless you want to go to a bar and club with ZERO expectations I wouldn't recomend it.
USMCHokie Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 This would be the only reason you should go to a club... to be introduced to people by your friends and build ur social circle... Unless you want to go to a bar and club with ZERO expectations I wouldn't recomend it. Absolutely. And this is the way you should always approach going to the bars...with zero expectations...you'll enjoy yourself and have more fun, and it's always when you least expect it that you meet women, get numbers, and get dates...at least in my experience... Enjoying yourself with friends = more attractive to women...
Author tjh001 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 I only mention bars/clubs as people always say that almost everybody can at least be kissed there...
USMCHokie Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I only mention bars/clubs as people always say that almost everybody can at least be kissed there... Uh...no...
Green Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I only mention bars/clubs as people always say that almost everybody can at least be kissed there... Look you need to learn all this stuff for yourself so go ahead and go to a night clubs and dance with girls and try to kiss them and decide for yourself. Girls will be alot more receptive to giving you their number and actualy going out on a date with you if you meet them at the mall, or at a friends party or wedding ect... JUST GET OUT THEIR AND ACTUALY START TRYING STUFF
Recommended Posts