Woggle Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I have noticed that when I observe other relationships I notice that when there is little to no fighting, arguing or other crap that women are most prone to having an affair or dropping the divorce bomb. While men seem to relish peace and lack of drama women seem to get bored and restless when there is no turbulance. Have any other guys noticed this? Also have any women felt this way?
Pyro Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Have never seen that. An off-balanced man or woman maybe, but not to us normal people. Seems like another scenario that you claim to see alot of to help justify your jaded views.
Engadget Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Many do, and when many get bored after the initial honeymoon phase that's when they run off. Ever read Women's Infidelity: Living in Limbo? You can find a free pdf file of it online, and it's all very true. Line for line in that book is what my ex did when she cheated. Usually happens to women in their late 20's early 30's, and they "fall in love" with someone else and their brain chemistry goes bonkers.
txsilkysmoothe Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I can't agree or disagree, but check out this MAN. He sounds like the women you describe. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t232266/
Pyro Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I have noticed that when I observe other relationships I notice that when there is little to no fighting, arguing or other crap that women are most prone to having an affair or dropping the divorce bomb. While men seem to relish peace and lack of drama women seem to get bored and restless when there is no turbulance. Have any other guys noticed this? Also have any women felt this way? so you are saying women are most prone to filing divorce due to being content versus catching her SO cheating or physically/emotionally abusing her? Any stats to back this up?
xxoo Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Some women have a problem with being content. Some men have a problem with being content. I've seen this poor behavior from both men and women. I usually associate it with immaturity (if they are very young), or assume a personality disorder is at play
2sunny Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 i feel perfectly content. at this stage - i've felt this way for several years now... it's a glorious feeling! feeling content, for me, is not based on how much i have or if i'm dating someone. it's just a part of who i am now.
Cracker Jack Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Well, I can't speak for women, since I'm a guy, but my experience (Though not marriage) could somewhat relate to the topic. I'll try to be brief: Me and my best friend had a thing. She had "broken up" with her fiance, supposedly, and claimed "I was the one for her", so we were together for a bit. In our normal friendship, we never argued and I treated her the right way, and was not a pushover or any nonsense like that. Her fiance had knocked a girl up, openly degraded her, and made her have a nervous breakdown. Anyway, while we were together, things remained the same between us, except intimacy was apart of it now. Then one day, she just started acting so cold towards me. She often had her moments when she was upset about something else, but at this point, she was upset...with me and just downright mean. I had no idea why, but she lost interest in me fairly quickly after "crushing on me" for quite a bit of time. We went out a lot, spent a good amount of time together, while also having time for our ownselves, so there was no pressurring or 24/7 time spent together. I dunno, but whatever I did supposedly wasn't enough to surpass her fiance. A mutual friend had told me she said "I was everything she wanted in a friend and a lover...but that I'm nothing like him. She knew that I was better for her realistically, but regardless of all the heartache and mess he put her through, she can't get enough of him, or live without him." I know it's only one woman, but my confidence took a hit after that. Lost someone I thought was the one for me and my best friend all in a single instance--all because I wasn't cheating on her, degrading her, and whatever else he was doing. Some of my friends (Some married) also were cheated on due to the "spice being emtied out of the relationship" and most cheated with scumbags. Guess it only applies to stupid women or men, I hope.
electricity Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 As a woman, I have to say - I like my drama best from an outsider's POV. That's to say, I do enjoy drama, but I don't like being involved in it. Enter TV. With all the drama on TV nowadays, I have no problem being happy with my own life.
Els Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I honestly think, Woggle, that this is just what the men THINK. Reason being like my last relationship: There was a lot of trouble at first. I was not happy with some of the things he was doing, and I kept trying to let him know. We argued on such occasions, and nothing got fixed. Eventually I just got fed up and stopped trying to fix things - the arguments and 'drama' stopped, but ultimately we began drifting apart. After a few months of such 'peace and lack of drama', I realized that I didn't have my heart in the R anymore, and broke up with him. But to him, it probably appears as how you or other men view it, Woggle. That everything was going so 'well', and then there was 'suddenly' a breakup. Newsflash: When a woman is very unhappy about something you are doing, you change nothing but yet suddenly there is 'peace', it just means she doesn't care anymore, and the R is definitely headed for doom.
Tony T Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I have noticed that when I observe other relationships I notice that when there is little to no fighting, arguing or other crap that women are most prone to having an affair or dropping the divorce bomb. While men seem to relish peace and lack of drama women seem to get bored and restless when there is no turbulance. Have any other guys noticed this? Also have any women felt this way? I actually recall research to back up what you are saying. Couples who argue and resolve differences on a continuing basis are far more likely to stay together. It has nothing at all to do with the fighting itself. I, like you, have seen this often in real life. I think anger and love modules exist very close to each other in the brain. If you don't love somebody, you're likely to be pretty indifferent to their behavior, good or bad, and not likely to take issue with it. It's only if you really care that you will use the energy for an encounter. I think you have made a very good observation although it's not true in all cases. Both parties have to be OK with it. If one partner is particularly peace loving and the other wants to go to war twice a week, it's not going to work. If the partners are predisposed to having it out with one another on a regular basis, they could be together forever. I had an aunt and uncle who were like that...I mean they were at war almost constantly. Fighting also has an element of arousal in it. There's probably nothing sweeter than to make up after a heated argument and have lovely sex. Life is complicated and then you die!
John K Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I actually recall research to back up what you are saying. Couples who argue and resolve differences on a continuing basis are far more likely to stay together. It has nothing at all to do with the fighting itself. I, like you, have seen this often in real life. I think anger and love modules exist very close to each other in the brain. If you don't love somebody, you're likely to be pretty indifferent to their behavior, good or bad, and not likely to take issue with it. It's only if you really care that you will use the energy for an encounter. I think you have made a very good observation although it's not true in all cases. Both parties have to be OK with it. If one partner is particularly peace loving and the other wants to go to war twice a week, it's not going to work. If the partners are predisposed to having it out with one another on a regular basis, they could be together forever. I had an aunt and uncle who were like that...I mean they were at war almost constantly. Fighting also has an element of arousal in it. There's probably nothing sweeter than to make up after a heated argument and have lovely sex. Life is complicated and then you die! You actually believe those crap studies? Some will believe anything.
marsle85 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Psychological studies show that women are more "proactive" when it comes to repairing relationships, desiring and encouraging therapy and in general are better "watchers" of the relationship's status. In contrast, men tend to float through relationships and not notice changes in the status unless they are extreme. Researchers hypothesize that this is the reason for most women desiring divorce, prior to men.
Author Woggle Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 To myself and many men women just overanalyze everything and pick apart every minute detail until their is nothing left. If you fiddle and tinker with something too much you will eventually destroy it. Do any women just enjoy life and enjoy time as a couple without feeling the need to pick at everything?
Mary3 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 To myself and many men women just overanalyze everything and pick apart every minute detail until their is nothing left. If you fiddle and tinker with something too much you will eventually destroy it. Do any women just enjoy life and enjoy time as a couple without feeling the need to pick at everything? Are you saying your wife is over analyzing you ?
Author Woggle Posted May 24, 2010 Author Posted May 24, 2010 Are you saying your wife is over analyzing you ? Not her but many women do it. It's like they can't stand a drama free relationship.
Mary3 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Not her but many women do it. It's like they can't stand a drama free relationship. Why would you bring this into discussion if its not happening in your own home ?
CLC2008 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Not for nothing.... But have you seen all the threads you've started? The majority of them, is a bunch of cackling while inducing a rise out of other people.... Seems like you are the one who is discontent, perhaps...maybe?
Mary3 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 not for nothing.... But have you seen all the threads you've started? The majority of them, is a bunch of cackling while inducing a rise out of other people.... seems like you are the one who is discontent, perhaps...maybe? Exacta~mundo ~~ !!
St. Nick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I have noticed that when I observe other relationships I notice that when there is little to no fighting, arguing or other crap that women are most prone to having an affair or dropping the divorce bomb. While men seem to relish peace and lack of drama women seem to get bored and restless when there is no turbulance. Have any other guys noticed this? Also have any women felt this way? I noticed this. I've heard many women say they've secretly created drama in a peaceful relationship to spice it up. Boring relationships make them feel miserable. Relationships are pretty much everything women live for; so it makes since that they'd want it to be interesting.
Mary3 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I noticed this. I've heard many women say they've secretly created drama in a peaceful relationship to spice it up. Boring relationships make them feel miserable. Relationships are pretty much everything women live for; so it makes since that they'd want it to be interesting. I am exactly the opposite. I hate drama , crying , fighting , whining and will go to great lengths to AVOID it ! So.. to say most women would not be a correct assumption. I know females who do create drama because they might love the action but I am totally the opposite. Give me a quiet house where I can live in Peace
St. Nick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I am exactly the opposite. I hate drama , crying , fighting , whining and will go to great lengths to AVOID it ! So.. to say most women would not be a correct assumption. I know females who do create drama because they might love the action but I am totally the opposite. Give me a quiet house where I can live in Peace Fine. You're the opposite. And I know one Englishman who spells "humor" the American way. He's the exception, like you. But the majority of English people spell humor the English way ("humour"). And the majority of women want drama in their relationship.
Mary3 Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Fine. You're the opposite. And I know one Englishman who spells "humor" the American way. He's the exception, like you. But the majority of English people spell humor the English way ("humour"). And the majority of women want drama in their relationship. Hrmmm it must be a hereditary thing because my mom was very much like me , she detested confrontation as well as my 2 sisters and my brother. All stable marriages and not alot of drama going on. Drama breeds drama , maybe ?
St. Nick Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 Hrmmm it must be a hereditary thing because my mom was very much like me , she detested confrontation as well as my 2 sisters and my brother. All stable marriages and not alot of drama going on. Drama breeds drama , maybe ? Okay. You and your entire family are the exception. And so is the Englishman who spells his humor the American way. He and his family all spell humor with one "U". How does that change the fact that the majority of English people spell humor with 2 "U"s? And how does the fact that your family hate confrontation mean that most women hate drama? Because the women in your family are exception to the rule then somehow this refutes my argument that most women like drama in their relationships?
sally4sara Posted May 24, 2010 Posted May 24, 2010 I think it is a maturity thing rather than a gender thing. Young people seem drawn to situations where their mere existence causes ripples in everyone around them. Like its a confirmation of them as individuals. They're trying to see how much their existence affects the world around them and how much power they can feel they have. While this isn't exclusive to only young people, it does seem prevalent in people who've yet to call many shots in their life.
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